Its slim – the line between being sad and happy, content and satisfied, busy and lonely. Somehow, I’m sure that most of us think we’re happy, maybe we’re not. What amuses me is the fact to be sure of what you exactly feel and what it is that you need, all you need to do is to ask yourself. What comes as the first thought after you’ve asked the question is your true answer. Answers after that might be encapsulated by various layers of uncertainties, committments and painful boulders of pressure which you have to hold off. What most of us don’t bother about is another fact – there might be other people who’d be affected by our indecision. Some of our words and actions might put those people through a lot of pain and trouble. Being thoughless isn’t a virtue, you know? Being callous and insensitive might seem ok to most, but I can assure you that when you’re on the receiving end, it pains and you would live with its scar forever. It = indecision.

You might begin with simple things… for example, consider you’re this girl and you see this guy, he’s nice; but you also see this other guy, who you like more. So, the first guy, lets call him A, at this point isn’t sure of whats on your mind. Briefly, you’re this girl – S and you meet two guys, A and M. You like M to begin with and later you meet A through him. You talk to both of them every now and then. You begin liking both, might happen, you know? But you like M more. So, you S, try to strike it up with M. M somehow doesn’t notice that he likes you as well. He’s confused because there’s this other guy (his friend) who likes you! So, M tries to be that ever forgoing friend who gave up his love/liking for his friend. He tells S a story about some other girl he used to like. So, if you’ve seen what happened, you, S like M. I hope its clear upto here. Now, since M seems to be confused, you get confused and you’re not sure of what to do. Thats when A comes into your life. You then realize your need to have a “boy friend”. All thise while M hasn’t gone anywhere. Now before M could say or do anything, S managed to strike it up with A and they’re together and apparently in everlasting love not bound by any laws of “friendship” because there wasn’t any time to get friendship going.

Soon S realizes that A is not the guy and she is confused. What would you have done at this time? S realized her confusion within 4 months of being with A. Now, wouldn’t it be easy for her to let go off A rather than stick with him and try to play the game? Just to verify if what she feels is right or wrong, or so you say. Moving on, S is still attracted to M and she doesn’t know what to do. So, what would you do when you’re confused about an apparently blooming relationship? Tell A about what you feel and go on to do what you feel like doing (even if it means killing him) or would you lie about your feelings, say the fake “I love you’s” accept all the love that A has to give and then finally not feel any love for him anyway? What would you do, huh?! Going on, would you discuss your misery with M? Who by that time realizes that its A who has S and not his friend. So, all his feelings for S come gushing to his heart (sweet!) Would you S, then start discussing possibilities of you and M getting together, when you’re still in love with A, or so you lie! Ever so effectively. How much more of an imbecile can you be? Or stepping into M’s shoes for a minute – would you as M, a close friend of A stab him a few times after knowing what he feels for S? What would you do? Or, lets come to the most coolest part… would you as S, call A a psycho, a madman instead? Why? Cause he threatened you S, that he’d kill himself if you’d destroy him like this. Well, he’s a psycho! So, you’d get scared, huh? Discuss how he loves you a bit too much for you soak up and then move to fresh  spunge bob, M; instead? In the end, would you S, fuck up his life, leaving him bleeding and mourning forever, because you feel, NOW, that you’d be better off with M! Now, what if I say, that; thats precisely what you did… what would you call yourself then? I’d call you a line, a slim line between everything in my life. I’d call you indecision. Good bye to you and all the bad things you brought along. I do not care anymore. You cannot hurt me anymore. You’re nowhere. You don’t even own a place in the section of my brain thats used for hatred. You may leave, both of you’ll – love and friendship. I don’t even hate you’ll. So, am I close enough? Did you’ll get the slim line, huh?! So many chances to make the right decision, but then, the wrong one made instead? Do you see how puny humans can be?

That being said, I’ll move on to something more precise, something I found today and somethings outright awesome:

http://ana46.blogspot.com/2007/02/ghost.html

Thats an insanely beautiful song by Ana and I totally love it. But thats a gift for the departed. You’re a hole in my heart that I’d fill within no time. Did I not love you? I did. I loved you very much, but then, do you know what it means, huh?! You just tolerated me. Loser; not me, certainly not me. I loved, I gained. You lost. HIMYM

To my right here is one of my favourite shows the most funniest sitcom ever. I have always hated F.R.I.E.N.D.S mostly because it was too darn popular. But this one, I can’t stop loving HIMYM. It unfortunately, began as a thing between us friends, but now I enjoy it alone. I somehow am happy laughing to Barney’s jokes all alone. I can’t explain how awesome these guys are. Marshall and Lily (the pair on the door ledge) are my idols when it comes to being a couple! They seem to fit in so very perfectly. Like Marshall says, love should be easy after a certain point in time. You shouldn’t need to try. Well, I love the way they’ve balanced the whole thing up. Barney, without doubt is the guy who steals the show. He is witty, quick and his jokes are phenomenally funny.

Ted is stupid, but he’s the story telling charecter and he understands Barney’s jokes… so I guess he’s cool too. Robin (Cobie) is beautiful, stunning I might add and I love the way she smiles. Marshall and Lily as I already described are the coolest pair ever and they’re cute almost all the times. A must watch for all those who haven’t seen it yet.

An update: Season 3, Episode 16, Barney finally hits a 12’er. He and Robin start making out. Thats crazy! I can’t wait for 17 to come up next week. This can’t be happening. Well, I know, its the United states of America. Its perfectly ok to sleep with your friends girl friend and just apologize the next morning and maybe he’d smile about it all and forgive you. Well, its happening in India too, you see? We’re still advancing. Coming to the point, this can’t be happening! Robin, please!? Well, more in next. I’m tired.

-Anup

Meandering thoughts.

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