Deep Conversations.

It is the week of Diwali, 2023. There is a lot going on around me. The Cricket World cup is in full swing with India winning all of its 9 encounters as of today. As Indians, we are shitting our pants as we fear a knockout in the semis with New Zealand although we have beaten them once. I don’t care what we call it, being jinxed, our luck or just the way we are. We tend to misfire when it matters most. Also, Australia has picked up steam over the last few matches and Glen Maxwell is just crazy! Hmm… an afterthought, Nope! I’m not scared or worried. The way our guys are dominating the world right now I feel we are going to breeze through this – bleed blue!

Its stupid, how long it has been since I came by. Just thought I should, cause I could. So, here I am. What I wanted to talk about today is a theme which is quite consistent with my blog, people, friends and all those around me. I have observed over a period of time that people find it tedious, anxiety inducing or outright lack the sensibility to have deep meaningful conversations. As you interact with elements and people around you, there is this tough but rather important realization that hits you – not everyone is capable of taking part in such discussions and its not their fault. As someone who deeply enjoys conversations that are devoid of judgement, comparison, narcissism among other things, it is appalling how only a few are close to holding such conversations. The kinds, that when done, give you a profound feeling of being alive and connected with the beings around you. For me, this could be in text too. To be very honest, I prefer it to be in text.

There are names and people I can count with whom I could share said conversations. It is long WhatsApp messages sometimes or more recently, I spoke to Ajay out of the blue and we shared a conversation after years and it lasted an hour where the flow was so real that I never felt that we have been out of touch. We never spoke post that call and I am not sure when we’d speak next but when we do – its going to be real. What I’d like for us to have is a conversation that is long, deep and anything but real. Where we dream and plan even if it means we never do those things we spoke about. I want for us to not talk about people. I need for us to discuss ideas, possibilities and music, maybe? Lord, give me back my friends who could discuss music with me. Tell me stories about musicians and their penchant for self destruction – so awesome. I’d like to discuss human emotions and about the hole in our heart, I’d like to discuss about anything else but our insecurities and no, I don’t want you to think I’m judging you when I’m telling you about what I think of your fears – I am just telling you what I think about it. Supposedly, I am the most judgmental person ever, according to those that are seemingly close to me. Pfft, sure.

What am I rambling on about here, right? I’d like conversations that are profound and explore the meaning of life and relationships. These conversations need to be a LOT more than surface topics and they must foster intellectual and emotional connection, often involving discussions on philosophy and personal growth. I want us to discuss the why’s of life and hardly ever the who’s – see where I’m tilting towards? I don’t ever want to discuss people honestly. If you’ve learnt something cool, I’d like to know about it. Did you experience a calling on one of your recent travels? I would love that. Do you believe in God and Aliens? Hell yeah, bring it on! Lets talk technology and video games if that is something you like. Have the clarity of mind and speech when talking to me, cause I’d like to live through you the same way you should live through me. We are connected beings and I genuinely feel this. I am deeply selfish but I feel empathy like no other and yes, I see the juxtaposition there.

I remember the day I left Dubai. There is so much to talk about when it comes to that story of my life which a lot of people who are in my life have heard but not understood or so I feel. Maybe, I don’t understand them? Then again, that is for later. Each time I write here I promise myself to visit again, write more, have stories to discuss and become a celebrated blogger/writer but then I just make this place a grave. Then again, do you like text or tiktok? And the answer to that is what I’ve spoken about in the verbal diarrhea above.


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