We’ve heard this so many times – Life’s a bitch! People casually talking about life as if they know what it is all about. Now, I’m by no means indicating that I’m out of the crowd here. I’m just as self-righteous as all those stupid-ass mortals who think they know what life is and brag about how sad they are for not being closer to god. Just so that they can brown-nose him into a life on a bed of fluff. You know what amazes me the most? People. Everything about all these people around me. Some in real life, some on TV and on all those series and sitcoms I watch. Somehow, their life seems to be all full of drama. How do they have all this drama? Do we really have all this drama to life? Seriously, isn’t it so easy to live? Be happy, smile, be friends, not be rude and most importantly be a nice human being. How difficult is this? I think it’s easy, but what we humans live for is the spice. We don’t want to eat tasteless food now, do we? You’d want it to be right on salt, chilly, pepper and be as spicy as possible. And the spice; which is drama in this case comes into life when you start feeling its bland – tasteless.
I tend to observe people and I manage to not attract their attention somehow. I don’t quite know if this is a good thing, but then people seem to be so oblivious of me being next to them, observing them, looking directly into their eyes, studying them and sometimes even snooping into what they say. Mostly, I wouldn’t make head or tails out of whatever it is that they speak, but I still love eavesdropping; especially if its people I don’t know remotely. Listening in on women chatter is very fruitful I might add, they think they know a lot and they think being a woman is the most difficult thing ever. Sometimes, in some women; I can distinctly smell a sense of superiority a superlative magnetism around them. An aura so strong that it deflects me away from them, just wanting to run away. Cause in my eyes, their reason for existing ends when they radiate the nothing that we all are. We are all nothing without each other. I wonder how it is that people don’t understand our binding. I am bound to the world and thus I’m bound to each and every human being on it. You need me just as much as I need you and there is no running away. But I try running anyway. Speaking of which; the MNS drama which happened recently in Maharashtra. What was that? I mean, what the fuck is he thinking? You think you can drive us away from where we live Mr. Thackeray? That’s our land just as much as its yours and we’ve lived there since times immortal. This is my country and you are a no one. Hear me? You’re a no-one and you’re not telling any one of us about where we can or cannot come! Do whatever the fuck it is that you want. You or your minions don’t scare me. Thats my land and I’m going to stick.
Going back on the drama bit – I thought about dramas and about how weird they are because of a couple of incidents. The first being the part where the drunk wife beater came back and this time he bought along some real nasty men. He nearly broke into the docs house but that’s when the watchman convinced him that there was no one home and it’d be pointless. This time I chose to listen in on the drama from within the safe walls of my room and it still sounded scary. Especially since Chetan scared the shit outta me the other day after knocking on my door and not answering my “Kaun hai?” question. My knees trembled for a full two hours after that. Mostly because of this and partly because I went with the guys for a drive in Ajay’s car when he was kinda high. Drunk people, however sweet they be scare me. Not that they’d physically harm me but you never know what they’d say. They have no emotional control and neither can they control what they think or talk so it kinda gets difficult if something I don’t want to hear falls out and I really did not want that. Somehow, that was wrapped up! Anyway, I thought about how inconsiderate people can be and about how money and power corrupts you and your thought process. This guy sounded like an educated guy with a very potty mouth and that disturbed me a lot. Then again, I was having breakfast at Adigas as usual and I had asked for Onion dosa. This usually takes more time that the rest and I stood by the counter; lost in some sort of a day dream when I noticed someone staring at me. Ever had that feeling where if you try hard enough and stare hard enough at someone even from behind them, they seem to turn back to look back at you? It’s happened to me and sometimes it seems like countless dejavu’s at the same time. It’s an awesome feeling when you get someone to look at you just by staring at them. I try doing this once in a while, but in this case I noticed this girl staring at me and it was not like a “ohh-what-a-hot-guy” stare (I look miserable and fat in my night clothes) and neither was it a “Ewww-ohh-no” look (I don’t deserve that for sure) it was more like the “Hmmm-do-I-know-you?” look and she seemed like someone I know or had seen before. I smiled because it was an awkward deadlock-in-the-eye situation. You know like when you’re staring at some girl’s boobs and she’d notice you? Well, no. Not that situation. You’d usually get the “Fuck you!” look back from her then. This was more the out the blue “do-I-know-you” stares from the both of us and I unknowingly smiled. Common courtesy, nay? She didn’t smile though. She lurked in the distance for a while trying to eat whatever it was that she seemed to be eating. It was more like she was swallowing food to avoid the hassle of chewing it. She had this thin, very frail, almost fragile body structure and was as tall as I am. This part of the story ends here.
The next part is more of a dialogue after I heard my bell ring today afternoon during my after work relaxation hours when I don’t like being disturbed. It’s been Greys Anatomy time for me and I love my time of peace. *Bell rings and I open the door*
Me: (Looking at the same girl, almost with the “what the bleep” look!) Yes? She: I’m sorry, I wanted to talk to you today morning itself, but you were in a hurry. Me: Hi, do I know you? She: Yes, I live two floors above you. We shifted a month back and you might remember us from the truck parked in front of the gate because you created a commotion since you had to leave for work and that truck had our stuff in it. Me: Ahhh, alright. I remember the mallu uncle. We had a small talk. She: Yes, that’s my dad and his shirt is in your balcony *sheepish look* and he didn’t want to come talk to you. Me: Ohh, no problem, let me go get it. I rarely go to the balcony so I wouldn’t have noticed.
I get the shirt, hand it over to her and she leaves after a quick round of profuse thankboration. I was so bored because she thanked me a bit too much. A simple “thanks” would suffice, you know? So my question here is simple, why the drama in this case? Just come over and ask me to get the shirt and I’d do it. What was she thinking? That I’d not return the shirt cause of my history with her dad? History? crap! I just asked him to get the truck outta my way cause I was late to work. Hmm, do I look like spice to you girl? *sigh* Just ask, kapiche? I watched a few movies. Disgifured and Dance of the dead are stuck to my head. I hope the lousy feeling these movies gave me wears out soon. Funny, but I failed an aptitude test this week and I gotta answer a repeat tomorrow. So, I’m thinking on lines of a good nights sleep. Also, I had a chance to write about my favorite character – Barney Stinson. I’m going to end with him –
So say hello to Barney Stinson! The ever so charming, enigmatic, magnetic and still higher on class and style kinda guy who isn’t someone you’d spot on a regular basis. He’s surely not someone you’d find idly squatting flies in a main street coffee bar. He’s the kinda guy you’d find hitting on single twenty-two something chicks but not in some random bar. You’d find him only in McClarens! Ohhh and the part where I spoke about single woman is not entirely true. Any twenty-two year old chick is what he’d want me to write about him. He’s one of the royals, chiefs if you may, of the endearing circle of Caucasian blonde men who can bag a girl by putting her down; sometimes even after calling her a filthy whore and sleeping with her mother. Now, ain’t that legendary?
Barney
Barney’s glow is an aura you can feel from a distance. The halo above his head is deadly red. It’s a clear pointer to the fact that within him resides a mythical creature so nasty that it’d devour you but you wouldn’t die. You’d just be reborn with some awesomeness added on. He is advisor to many youngsters who dream of jumping into the invigorating world of promiscuity and binge drinking. The one thing he really hates is marriage and commitment. Don’t marry for as long as you can is what he’d say. If you are feeble and cannot control your disease which limits you to emotional dysentery for a particular girl/boy that’s the only time you may even consider about getting engaged and thereby married, which again is not advisable until you hit the plum age of 30 and this is for men. For women, if you touch 30, you’ve touched your official “Ohh-no!” moment and you’re nothing but garbage. For men, that’s the age where you are at the pinnacle of physical attractiveness. His ideas are revolutionary and they’d not only make you giggle but also excite you beyond your wildest imagination.
Some of his achievements in the areas of being a womanizing dude maestro include but are not limited to the following:
– Discovery of the Vicki Mendonca diagonal formerly known as the hot crazy scale. This means that a girl is allowed to be crazy as long as she’s moving up the hot scale. Simply put if she’s an 8.5 on the crazy scale, she’d need to be a 9+ on the hot ruler. Else, she’s out and you need to throw the hook for fresh fish. If you tend to ignore the scale, you’ll just stink in the end and trust me, this has been proven time and again by Barney.
– Barney, unknown to many is the mystical BRO who wrote the BRO CODE! Bro code is a set of rules for bro’s who hit on women together in random bars or any street that you’d like. Bro’s are governed by these rules and the code is a death line. There are no government laws governing the way in which bro’s function and thus an able man had to step up and write a book of codes. A couple of rules: A bro shall at all cost inform a mutual bro on the occasion of a girl fight and of course the golden rule No sex with a bro’s ex.
Barney usually drops his knowledge about women, sex, money and power to four of his closest friends; Ted, Lily, Marshall and Robin. Most importantly, he isn’t like you and me and that’s precisely why they call him “The Barnicle” he is different because you’d never see him in Shirts, t-shirts or jeans and trousers. Barney dresses like a hunter, a hungry lion and he hunts in suits. He suits up to get laid and he does it in style. Secondly, while guys like you and me would hide our porn, he has them neatly arranged and lit; in red again and he’s proud of his sexuality! After all that we know about him, it’s the usual tendency of people to bend towards sympathizing for all those self-loathing idiotic girls who ever slept with Barney, but the real deal is – he doesn’t hurt anyone. He makes his intensions crystal and that’s not even solid by the way, but the women still seem to get his point. His apartment isn’t a place to leave a toothbrush or lingerie behind and neither should you curl up and sleep more than your usual 12 hour sex visa, 14 if you qualify for multiple entry. Like I said, Barney is a visionary and the lemon laws he makes is going to change the world some day.
Finally, the grey part but the most important reason to Barney’s amazing demeanor is the fact that you’d never get a chance to get him feeling low or sad. His usual take on this is, “When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead, true story!” This very take on life multiplies his awesomeness and yes, he is a force to reckon with! High five to Bimbo’s, Scotch and suits, or so he’d say.
Lots of things influence us and the road we walk on… everyday. Some of these influences are good and the others are bad, some come rapidly and retire quickly, the others slowly stem from us and they seem to stick and influence our lives for a longer period of time. They’d stay till something far more influential would come sweep us away.
I’ve had loads of things that have influenced my fight with life and destiny, but I’d choose to talk only about the cream here. I’m not including family and friends here as “influences” because I believe that they are a part of me and uhm, they too are influenced by these influential people; somehow! Following are some of the most influential people in my life as of today:
The Barnicle! (Barney Stinson or Neil Patrick Harris)
Ahh well, how can you not idolise this guy? Minus his self-righteous sexual needs of course! But then, somehow; if you remove that, Barney would end up being just another tedded up you and me! Ohh yes, Ted is kinda lame and I love using him as a verb. Anyway, coming back to this LEGEN…wait for it, and I hope you’re not lactose-intolerant because the second half of this word is…DARY, guy – he’s an epitome of awesomeness! Yes, thats right! He’s my new role model when it comes to living life and counting every second of it to 666 to the power of 666, you know what I mean, ha?! Its from him that I learnt that the easiest way to live life is to follow one of his simple rules, “When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead, true story!” He’d say that with that smile. It’d brighten up a dead mans day I tell you. Barney – you rule! Some of his awesomeness:
“You dumped a porn star?? friendship over. FRIENDSHIP OVER!!!”
“You are dangerous maverick,Your ego is writing cheques tht ur body cant cash”
“Daddy’s home!”
“…because the next step is PURG-wait-for-it… keep waiting… keep waiting till eternityATORY”
Moving on, I’d like to mention two people at the same time. Now, I’m too small to even talk about them, but then legends would always influence your life either today or tomorrow. There’s no stopping them from entering your ears, eyes and brains. They’d rule over your musical neurons and there is nothing you can do. Here are a few of the people who musically move my life:
Roger Waters
I can’t talk much about the man, cause like I said, his musical genius is something I can only be in awe for. I’ve got a snip from Wiki – “George Roger Waters (born 6 September 1943) is an English rock musician; singer, bass guitarist, guitarist, songwriter, and composer. He is best known for his 1965–1985 career with the band Pink Floyd; he was credited as their main songwriter (after the departure of Syd Barrett), bass player and one of their lead vocalists (along with David Gilmour and, to a lesser extent, Richard Wright)” Simply put, his music along with the way he’d play the guitar is devine and I can’t stop listening to him perform!
David Gilmour
Again, this is one guy who can bring music to life. I have very little to talk about him cause he’s awesome! For those who might not know him, here’s a snip from Wiki “David Jon Gilmour CBE (born March 6, 1946) [1] is an English musician best known as the lead guitarist, one of the primary singers, and one of the main songwriters (with Roger Waters) in the band Pink Floyd. In addition to his work with Pink Floyd, Gilmour has also worked as a record producer for a variety of famous artists. Gilmour has been actively involved with many charity organisations over the course of his career.”
These two are important because I love the music they’ve created and somehow, though they did not appeal to me initially, they called out to me and I haven’t been able to stop myself from listening to them over and over again. Pink Floyd drifts me into a world where I’d float around the strings they pull and of course, the lyrics and words which mean so much to me! Thanks to my so called friend who introduced me to them!
Aaron Lewis
Aaron Lewis, (born April 13, 1972 in Rutland, Vermont, U.S.), is the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of the alternative metal group Staind. Though they’d call it metal, for me, it doesn’t sound metal-ish! Its more like grunge rock. Aaron has written some lyrics for songs like Outside, Epiphany, Its been a while and a few other songs. I can’t really explain what his words mean to me, but his words and his music influence my life a lot. Rock on!
Uhm, thats it for my list of people who influence my life. These are external variables, but there are very few who work on the inside and most of them are constants. No variables whatsoever. Somehow, I feel that talking about constants is futile and a waste of my time. Mostly because they are there to stay and I can’t do much about them! I can’t thank them and I wont. Peace out.
Its ruling over me currently. I dont feel like doing anything. Its probably the routine which gets hectic sometimes; work, class and the gym. I don’t get a lot of time to watch tv or watch the sitcoms that I have downloaded. I still manage to watch How I met your mother though as and when its available for download. I’ve watched upto episode 19 and it continues to make me laugh and I’m still very much in love with all the charecters.
I know, I was supposed to write about Goa and I promise to do it tomorrow – no crap this time. I will try hard to knock down the lazy-me ghost that has set into me and give my fingers some exercise. I missed gym yesterday and I wasn’t too happy about it. But then, yesterday was an especially lazy day since I happened to doze off at work and I had just gotten over a severe bout of head and neck ache. Ahh, it has been a tough week for me. The pain was excrutiating at times and it engulfed my head and neck. I knew for sure that this was because of the increase in the number of my myopic lenses. Mom and Radha aunty kept on pushing me to go visit the doctor, but then I knew that the glasses were causing this. Anyway, I got a hole in my pocket and had to keep myself from giving my monthly share home to come up with this:
The headache seemed to magically disappear as soon as I put the glasses on and I informed mom about it who seemed to be upset about the part where I did not go to the doctor after she asking me to over the fact that I did not need to go to the doctor and that my headache’s vanished. Women are weird and you cannot deny that. Spoke to Sneha and she’s a constant source of joy to me. She’s on my side always and for her, I’m the best and the coolest. However fat, double chinned or stupid I be. Radha aunty and family are there in Pune now; well at Mahabaleshwar right now. Good for them.
Going back to the part where I’ve been lethargic, there came this time yesterday when I broke all barriers and stepped into a new league of lazy bones. I have my clothes all washed and ready to be used after getting them pressed, but I was too lazy to give them off to the guy who presses clothes and so I did not have anything that I could wear to work – so I bought a couple of new t-shirts. I’m seriously unsure of whats wrong with me. I need to kick myself hard I guess. Guess its a phase and will fade off soon. A quick nip – I’m watching this sitcom (kind of bounces over my head sometimes) called The Big Bang Theory. Must say, I enjoy watching them talk. Their brilliance seems to glorify my ignorance.
Finally, I watched “Jab we met” the Hindi movie again. I watched Kareena and Shahid look cute together for the last time and I loved the movie all over again. I’m not sure why, but like almost all the mid-century aunties, I too am in love with this movie and all the expressions Kareena had on her face. Cute. Ohh and I’m reading Chetan Bhagat’s latest book – The 3 mistakes of my life. I’ve just begun reading it and I like it already. I’m sure it’d be as good as his other two masterpieces.
Also, I’m proud of myself as of now, cause I’ve lost around 5.5 kgs! I shouldn’t be bragging about it, but then I’ve learnt that a good diet and a scheduled work out regimen can drastically change your life. Now, I’m not going to make any changes to the way I’m working out or to my diet. I’m going to stick to it for a while and I’m sure that I’ll continue shredding. I began at 92.5 and I’m 87.1 now. So, the progress is outstanding, I’d say and that too in just 2 odd months. I’m happy. Its time for me to hit the gym and leave for home. I won’t type in about Goa as a blog entry. I’d probably include it in write-ups! So, yeah, thats the project in for tomorrow.
There’s a lot to write and I’m not sure about what to write and where to begin. Its a long story – Goa. I won’t finish if I begin now and I don’t want it to fall short of a word or an event. I want that entry to be descriptive and complete to every minute details. Thus, I’m going to get it done within the next two days.
A few things to discuss:
1) Season 3, Episode 17, How I met your mother:
Barney got Robin laid. Robin, you suck just as well. You’re a whore; just as well. Why? Cause you have sex with Barney and the first thing you tell him in the morning is, “The moment my feet touches the ground (off the bed that is) THIS never happened” this here is sex. Man, seriously; why? Did you really need it that bad? Alright Anup, cut the crap. Robin, you suck. Ted, you suck as well. Barney, you’re legen…wait for it…. dary! You PWN man. Next bet? Try to get Lily’s ass. After this though, Ted fights with Barney and “breaks up” with him or in his words “outgrows” Barney. Over and above this, he tries to do the I’m not pissed act which he couldn’t carry off. Overall, Marshall and Lily, you’re the best people in that show.
2) Season 4, Episode 8, Lost:
This is going nowhere. I have no clue of whats going on. Someone help me! More turns?
3) Goa:
A lot to talk to about this. Coming up real soon. Also, about how hot Pune is and how much I love vada pav land.
4) The website:
I’m making a lot of changes to the website and I will continue to do so in the next few days. I’ve managed to find a plugin that integrates Gallery2 to WordPress and its awesome. Plus, I finally managed to upgrade to WordPress 2.5.1 and I like the overall feel of it. In more news, Radha aunty and family have left for Pune and they’ll return with mom and Sneha on the 18th. I like that. Abhi started off his new job at Maersk where he has to wear formals with a tie and all; he looked cute on his first day. Met Smikh on the 29th when I reached Pune and it felt great; meeting her and talking to her. We had lunch and we spoke a lot. Gossips and other crap. It was cooler because Abhi was around and for the first time in the last 2 months, I was able to laugh, freely. Felt awesome. These days, I use the Barney theory and it fits me perfectly – When I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead! I have no clue of where Shags is and I’m worried. She doesn’t give a damn, as usual.
Its slim – the line between being sad and happy, content and satisfied, busy and lonely. Somehow, I’m sure that most of us think we’re happy, maybe we’re not. What amuses me is the fact to be sure of what you exactly feel and what it is that you need, all you need to do is to ask yourself. What comes as the first thought after you’ve asked the question is your true answer. Answers after that might be encapsulated by various layers of uncertainties, committments and painful boulders of pressure which you have to hold off. What most of us don’t bother about is another fact – there might be other people who’d be affected by our indecision. Some of our words and actions might put those people through a lot of pain and trouble. Being thoughless isn’t a virtue, you know? Being callous and insensitive might seem ok to most, but I can assure you that when you’re on the receiving end, it pains and you would live with its scar forever. It = indecision.
You might begin with simple things… for example, consider you’re this girl and you see this guy, he’s nice; but you also see this other guy, who you like more. So, the first guy, lets call him A, at this point isn’t sure of whats on your mind. Briefly, you’re this girl – S and you meet two guys, A and M. You like M to begin with and later you meet A through him. You talk to both of them every now and then. You begin liking both, might happen, you know? But you like M more. So, you S, try to strike it up with M. M somehow doesn’t notice that he likes you as well. He’s confused because there’s this other guy (his friend) who likes you! So, M tries to be that ever forgoing friend who gave up his love/liking for his friend. He tells S a story about some other girl he used to like. So, if you’ve seen what happened, you, S like M. I hope its clear upto here. Now, since M seems to be confused, you get confused and you’re not sure of what to do. Thats when A comes into your life. You then realize your need to have a “boy friend”. All thise while M hasn’t gone anywhere. Now before M could say or do anything, S managed to strike it up with A and they’re together and apparently in everlasting love not bound by any laws of “friendship” because there wasn’t any time to get friendship going.
Soon S realizes that A is not the guy and she is confused. What would you have done at this time? S realized her confusion within 4 months of being with A. Now, wouldn’t it be easy for her to let go off A rather than stick with him and try to play the game? Just to verify if what she feels is right or wrong, or so you say. Moving on, S is still attracted to M and she doesn’t know what to do. So, what would you do when you’re confused about an apparently blooming relationship? Tell A about what you feel and go on to do what you feel like doing (even if it means killing him) or would you lie about your feelings, say the fake “I love you’s” accept all the love that A has to give and then finally not feel any love for him anyway? What would you do, huh?! Going on, would you discuss your misery with M? Who by that time realizes that its A who has S and not his friend. So, all his feelings for S come gushing to his heart (sweet!) Would you S, then start discussing possibilities of you and M getting together, when you’re still in love with A, or so you lie! Ever so effectively. How much more of an imbecile can you be? Or stepping into M’s shoes for a minute – would you as M, a close friend of A stab him a few times after knowing what he feels for S? What would you do? Or, lets come to the most coolest part… would you as S, call A a psycho, a madman instead? Why? Cause he threatened you S, that he’d kill himself if you’d destroy him like this. Well, he’s a psycho! So, you’d get scared, huh? Discuss how he loves you a bit too much for you soak up and then move to fresh spunge bob, M; instead? In the end, would you S, fuck up his life, leaving him bleeding and mourning forever, because you feel, NOW, that you’d be better off with M! Now, what if I say, that; thats precisely what you did… what would you call yourself then? I’d call you a line, a slim line between everything in my life. I’d call you indecision. Good bye to you and all the bad things you brought along. I do not care anymore. You cannot hurt me anymore. You’re nowhere. You don’t even own a place in the section of my brain thats used for hatred. You may leave, both of you’ll – love and friendship. I don’t even hate you’ll. So, am I close enough? Did you’ll get the slim line, huh?! So many chances to make the right decision, but then, the wrong one made instead? Do you see how puny humans can be?
That being said, I’ll move on to something more precise, something I found today and somethings outright awesome:
Thats an insanely beautiful song by Ana and I totally love it. But thats a gift for the departed. You’re a hole in my heart that I’d fill within no time. Did I not love you? I did. I loved you very much, but then, do you know what it means, huh?! You just tolerated me. Loser; not me, certainly not me. I loved, I gained. You lost.
To my right here is one of my favourite shows the most funniest sitcom ever. I have always hated F.R.I.E.N.D.S mostly because it was too darn popular. But this one, I can’t stop loving HIMYM. It unfortunately, began as a thing between us friends, but now I enjoy it alone. I somehow am happy laughing to Barney’s jokes all alone. I can’t explain how awesome these guys are. Marshall and Lily (the pair on the door ledge) are my idols when it comes to being a couple! They seem to fit in so very perfectly. Like Marshall says, love should be easy after a certain point in time. You shouldn’t need to try. Well, I love the way they’ve balanced the whole thing up. Barney, without doubt is the guy who steals the show. He is witty, quick and his jokes are phenomenally funny.
Ted is stupid, but he’s the story telling charecter and he understands Barney’s jokes… so I guess he’s cool too. Robin (Cobie) is beautiful, stunning I might add and I love the way she smiles. Marshall and Lily as I already described are the coolest pair ever and they’re cute almost all the times. A must watch for all those who haven’t seen it yet.
An update: Season 3, Episode 16, Barney finally hits a 12’er. He and Robin start making out. Thats crazy! I can’t wait for 17 to come up next week. This can’t be happening. Well, I know, its the United states of America. Its perfectly ok to sleep with your friends girl friend and just apologize the next morning and maybe he’d smile about it all and forgive you. Well, its happening in India too, you see? We’re still advancing. Coming to the point, this can’t be happening! Robin, please!? Well, more in next. I’m tired.
