Of diapers and controllers!

Daddy&DaughterWeird set ehh? Those two. Diapers and controllers. What I mean by controllers here are not the trotting terrors tssk tssk; the wives! In this context I’m talking about my PlayStation controllers. Heh, its very real though; this is where I am. This is where I stand and this is where I get stuck as I seem to want to do both. So I thought I might as well make a come back to the world of letters with an Anup who is so very lost. I’ve thought about writing more regularly too many times but as I have mentioned before; MY life seems to get the best off of me and things that I need to do gets over-run by things that I want to do. These are most often than not – activities that I can avoid or do without but then you know how it is with us humans. Addictions are very real. Obsessions attack the weak and I have proven to myself and my loved ones time and again that I am weak. Very weak. In any case, my weakness’ have been shared out here too many times and it isn’t funny or entertaining anymore. Why I’m here is to add a brand new category to my blog – Krisha, our little bundle of joy!

She opened her eyes and looked at me on the 3rd of September 2013 and I guess the excitement is the same for all new parents. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had a little smile on her face and was calm. Very light and dainty when I held her for the first time and was particular that she’d smile a bit when I clicked her picture the first. It was me and my mom-in-law who saw her the first and we both agreed that she was me carbon copied. I know that not all might see the similarities but people who truly know me and who have my face etched in their memories would know that her face is just a female version of me which by extension is a female version of my moms. She has all the good looks running from our family and I’m the proudest father there can be!

The controllers seem to have taken a back seat from where I see things. Of course Shruti has to bitch about those 10 minutes that I spend with one of my only hobbies. This is where we have this whole discussion on diapers and controllers. I don’t quite know if there are gamer daddy’s out there who struggle between this stage in their life where they are still stuck with games and their love for the great stories told there and their little ones who decide to cry, shit, fart, pee and everything else that’s disgusting and/or everything at the same time right when you’re about to get this excellent kill on Battlefield 3 but hey, if you’ll are out there do let me know. Its a long sentence but it sums up my point for this post. This is where I am stuck. I need to exercise and I know this. Its not that I don’t cause that’d just make me mad. I’ve put on a lot over the last 2 years and the excellent Gulab Jamuns from Mirchi don’t help one bit. My sweet tooth gets the better of me each and every time and like I mentioned above I am the king of “giver uppers”. I am that guy who gave up trying. The thing is; I love sweets, fuck that! I’m eating no matter how soon I die. Am I sorry about it? Hell NO!

Since the last time we spoke I have graduated to being an expert at changing diapers, an expert at burping my baby boo and an absolute baws (boss pronounces with the dubyoo) at smothering kisses. I have also; since then, got myself a ton of new games, bought games I never play and built myself a gaming PC. I will come back with more updates on this soon but the point to note is that what I’m going to be talking about here hence on will either be about smelly diapers or about THOSE games that I’d so love to play.

Cheers!~

-Anup

Dear Mr. Hacker.

Hi. Just thought I’d add in a quick post especially dedicated to you because I guess you were being the good Samaritan here and although you could have further entered my host and probably compromised all my data you did not do that and left me a kind message to fix my insecure shit up. Well, I have tried. Please feel free to test things out but I’d appreciate if you just let this be as this is a personal blog and no one really gives a fuck about how secure the information I publish on this actually is. People just come here for the lulz, for some entertainment and probably to snoop around other people’s lives. The days of the blog have passed thereby rendering places like these almost moot.

So, if you do find security loopholes you could let me know at ryukdg[at]gmail[dot]com and I’d further work on things to fix things up but that’s just as far as I am willing to go. By further defacing this site you are not doing anyone any good. Thanks again for your help.

Cheers!~
-Anup

Tippy Tippy Tip Top!

Its been a while I guess. Don’t I always seem to start with that line when I post in after months of silence? But then, the answer is simple – who even blogs these days? I’ve been following a few blogs since the time I could read I guess and most if not all of them have neared a state of limbo. Some of them gave up cause they got bored, the others had babies and moved on, some others; well, I have no clue! They just seemed to vanish. No one blogs these days, ffs! I feel bad about it but that’s how it is and I guess we just have to deal with it.

The blog is gone but what has replaced it you ask? People have to communicate and there is no way in hell that one mode of communication dies and it did not get replaced with something more powerful and better. Heard of Youtube? I’m sure you have. For a lot of us Youtube is the go-to place for entertainment and information. So yeah, people have moved to Youtube. Blogs have been replaced by Vlogs. This new thing isn’t just in so don’t tell me that I am late to report this. I’m just sharing what I can see. I haven’t yet moved to Vlogging but I have moved to Youtube nevertheless. I have a channel on there and I discuss video games. Hell yeah – nerd alert!

The above is one such video from my channel and I may decide to go the Vlogging way pretty soon. I am not fully sure about showing my chubby face on YouTube but maybe I will, eventually. I can’t quite live without social media communication and I still have some of my best friends online. It has deviated to stuff like gaming forums, clan websites, Playstation Network and other online communities but what’s in it? I find people I share similar interests with and that’s all that matters in the end I guess. That is where I have been and I guess I will continue to be around there for a while more.

The point of this post wasn’t that though. The point of this post was to just tell everyone who come by that people unlike things that you own are valuable and if you think too many times about making amends with friends you had a problem with then it most essentially means that you must do it. Sleeping on it for years and years and in the end realizing how big a fool you were makes you nothing more than a fool! So why wait to find out that you are a fool? Instead pick up that phone and dial that number. Its easy I think. The initial few seconds will make your heart pound because you don’t know what to say but the moment the wave is over you’d feel calm and at peace.

I keep talking about being up to date on here and I fail each and every time so I am not going to repeat that crap because I have realized that I tend to come to this place on one of two occasions; either I am being pushed too hard either by myself or by people who think I can write or because I am a bit glum. Somehow, like I discussed before it is only things that make me sad which brings out the need to write in me. Its probably just something that I feel and its probably not real but that’s how it seems and that’s what Shruti feels too. I guess two people can’t feel the exact same thing, so yeah, it must be right. There was a big torrential rant on my mind when I came here but somehow that seems to have fizzled out and I don’t want to write all of that crap here anymore.

People who befriend you will forget you.

People you befriend will be forgotten by you.

Friends that happen to you will remain that way… forever.

-Anup

Bi-yearly catch up!

What is up you guys? This is me, myself and I welcoming you to a brand new year. I know that I’ve been gone for a while now and this place is so dead right now. I come here ever so often hoping to get motivated by words that seemed to come to me so easily but this just doesn’t seem to be working for me and writing/blogging rather seems to be a thing of the past. No one blogs anymore says Shruti. Who even blogs? Type up text you mean? Seriously? Who has the time to read through walls of text? My manager calls me up each time he reads my emails and asks me to give him a two line summary in order to even “consider” my concern. That is how much people hate text. We have been taken by the vlog storm and youtube is the way to go. I have a youtube channel and all the jazzy social media crap but it can never do to me what walls of text does. I know that most of the people who used to come here would probably never come around hoping to see new stuff because 6 months is too long a time and in any case – I literally blog bi-yearly, so its no biggie!

There is a lot to catch up on and I am sure that I can come up with pages and pages of data and still not be done with it. However, the wife has dozed off already and I am so darn sleepy! This is just a post to try and follow what she told me – write a line or two a day and see where it takes you. So here I am; making an effort to write not for anyone else but just to get me closer to what I used to love doing and a certain part of me who still thinks that the thing I am best at is words, text, expressions and walls of text. In my case, love those walls as I always seem to get through them quite easily.

Here’s wishing anyone who graces by a happy and prosperous year 2013 and I hope for the best to come to you and your family. I seem to be doing well where I am. I am getting plumper by the day and I am worried about my health. I should be able to catch up over time but I really need to give it my full sooner than later. Shruti is bored but is doing extremely well and she is the strongest ray of hope in my life. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t fight with her. Sometimes, I just annoy her to see her get mad at me, its funny I tell you but that’s what I love about us we fight without too many egos!

A lot more to tell you’ll but I’ll leave that for future. For now, I hope to just about hit the final period here and go to bed. This won’t get published until I do that cause its almost 3:00 AM here and I had a tough day at work. I’m almost sleeping on my keyboard.

Cheers you guys! I missed you’ll.

-Anup

Dubai – Hyderabad – Dubai

I think I have thrown in a little something about my stay in Hyderabad in one of my previous posts and like I said then, that deserved a write up in itself about how; for loves sake did I reach Hyderabad of all places?! Well, I don’t have a clue to date because leaving Dubai was never meant to be. These are not my words but my sisters curse. Sneha kept telling me that I was going to get back to Dubai sooner than I thought and I always laughed off her childish thoughts about how she and I are meant to be close by or so says the lame ass palmist from Kerala, some shit. I know, I know; thanks a lot for all  your good luck Shruti! You’re the reason I’m here *winks*

So, news from this part of town is about me getting my ass back here. I was away for around 10 months I think and I got called back by the desert that reaps money. I can vouch for that one – the money part that is. Tax-free money is something that every Indian wants to brag about but here is where I really feel the pinch missing, you know? The pinch that pains bad – TAXES! Yikes, I get the shizzles by its mere thought. A little birdie told me that my manager thought that I was worth the trouble and did his best to get me hired on a full time basis. No more contracts babey!! Now that is something to be real proud of; having a full time job in a semi government organization in Dubai. Its w00t.

Can’t stop thinking of the time between the end of 2010 up to around first quarter of 2011 when everything in my life was unstable as hell. I was on a contractual job if I haven’t mentioned before. Not the kind of a contract where you know when you’ll be without a job. This is the kind of contract that keeps you hanging – you never know! I never knew when the contract would end and when I’d be body shopped out of my organization onto the contractors bench and thereby fired duly over a period of time and over months of unrest which would have surely originated from my side. The restless person that I am – I won’t let you live till you give me an answer and once you give me a negative one I’ll haunt you every now and then. Lol, no. Seriously, I’m a stupid fool who’d accept anything with that dumb look on your face, you know? The one that says, “Hey! I deserve this, but its fine if you don’t give it to me” Fucktard.

Finally, somewhere around March 2011 they decided to let us go and in stepped TCS who offered to take me into its ample bosom and feed me with all the laziness it had to offer. I can swear that it is the organization for anyone who wants to lead a live-eat-die life. Its that awesome. You get in and you retire in lets say 30 years sometimes without knowing about what the fuck just happened. You absolutely don’t need to know anything about anything and you don’t need to give a rats ass in order to survive there. I don’t say it just for the heck of it – its heavenly safe once you get in and if you are really someone who has decided to stay there is nothing that will stop you from growing. Highly recommended for the content masses, you know? So, I worked from TCS, Hyderabad for around 10 months for the very same project in pretty much the same role but with a better designation. I really don’t know where those days went and I really don’t want to talk about the filth that I got myself into as far as living in Hyderabad is concerned.

As far as Hyderabad is concerned – it’s a good city so to say in regards with the crowds on the road, the mobs who want to know what’s happening with you and of course the policemen who want to loot you for everything they see but what went wrong with me was the place or the area that I chose to stay. I knew nothing and I made a big big mistake. I took up a house in a place called Miyapur which I learnt later was the scum of the city. It sucked so bad that we literally had to keep the glasses of our car up as we drove by into our apartment. Why? The entire road that lead to our apartment turned into a big open sewage transit passageway within 3 months of us moving in. Now that’s the kind of shit that you need when you’re really talking about shit! Blah, it was disgusting. I was scared of contracting a bad disease over the time but luckily I survived and my ex-current boss decided to call me back! Phew, some escape.

I landed in Dubai on the 26th of Feb 2012 much to the delight of Sneha who is vacationing in India as we speak. Yo, good for you girl! I miss India already. Man, am I going to change or what? You know the thing about me? It’s the thing there I am never quite content. Now sometimes I think of it as a positive attitude; its like a drive in you to keep wanting more just so that you grow in life and keeping demanding more from life. In my case however, I run after what I don’t have and forget to enjoy what I have which I’m sure is a lot better than what I could have ever imagined it to be. I try my best but I always find the grass greener on the other side and I try my best to get to that side only to want to go to another side the moment I reach there. Annoying!

Its been smooth riding thus far in Dubai. I managed to get Shruti over and we have since then gone on to get a cozy little flat and fill it up with stuff. We splurged a ton of dirhams which I did not really have but that’s ok cause I hope it ties me down for a while. I suddenly feel this urge to relocate to Bangalore. Guess I won’t cause I’m sure that somebody gonna get a hurt real bad if somebody moves once again leaving behind all of someone else’s belongings to no one, heh! There’s a lot more to talk about but I guess I’d shut up for today. More in next… now since I am pretty sure that the audience should have gone down considerably!

-Anup