To the yearly rains – I miss you.

I finally convinced myself to shake off the rust that had crept onto my fingers over the last 3 odd weeks. I wasn’t trying to keep myself from writing; but just my usual bouts which did not allow me to hit the keys. Until now that is. I’ve wanted to write ever since I started experiencing power problems! Well, I’m human and every human being has a hole in his heart. We’d always want to talk about whats missing and whats not right. We’d always crib about what makes us uncomfortable and most of us are so used to comfort and leisure that the smallest nano-ounce of discomfort would trigger off a chain reaction which would then force us to ogle out a list of other related woes.

In my case, its the rains! Where the fuck are the clouds? Seriously Zeus; I know you’re a tyrannical god and you rule no hearts. But unfortunately, you rule the skies and you’re the rain god! Where are the rains? If you’re a god, you’d know how the rain makes us humans feel. Especially downright romantics such as myself. I know, I sound like a girl in pink – but do you care? Consider me to be one of those numerous nincompoops you need to provide the rains to. For various reasons, I’d say. We creatures here on earth need water for each and everything.  Our very existence depends on it. Its nearing the end of July and I don’t see it raining anywhere. I mean, what the hell are you waiting for? Give us your fury! Let it rain.

Simply put, the rainy season has arrived with little or no rain clouds and I’m worried about how we’d be able to survive if it continues like this. I need it to rain just like all of us. I wish to see a greener earth. I wish for there to be plenty of food next year. I hope that rain brings us more resources to suck on. The most important one in our case, electricity. Unlike the super powers, we here in developing countries still depend on water for most of our power related needs. So if there’s an upsurge in the demand of electricity, which I’m sure there is; and if its preceded by a monsoon with shortage of water, it’d turn out of to be an irony you can’t laugh at. The situation here in Bangalore is grim. There is no power for almost 3-4 hours a day. Also, what annoys me is the part where they do not declare the power cuts. Why can’t we be more civilized? Like Kerala maybe? There, they have been minimizing power usage since times immortal. 30 minutes of blackout everyday is something thats told to everyone and something thats followed religiously. No one minds it. Out here and over the last 2 weeks; we face power outages every 3-4 hours for like 30-40 minutes and it rips my patience off.

Finally, the main reason I miss the rains. I miss its beauty. I miss the drizzle and I miss the warmth it carries along with all its shivers. Its life I feel and its beautiful. The smell of rain on dry soil… mmm; one fragrance that man couldn’t capture yet. I miss the fragrance too. Its hardly rained! What the hell is going on? I just want it to rain. Apart from this everything is in place and I’m on top of the world. I haven’t been hitting the gym for over 2 weeks. Mostly because I thought my body needed some rest. I’ve kept the dieting tempo up though and have kept away from any fattening food. I’ll hit the gym pretty soon. There are other stories to talk about, but then, those worry me, so I won’t talk about it. Abhi, Muiz, Smikh and everyone else close to me is in line for beginning a new life with someone special. I feel that I’d be left alone. Not that I’m so full of people right now, but then I can at least think about these people now. A few months down the line, I’d be a loner for good. But then, what the fuck? I’ll deal with it too. My apathy towards loneliness keeps on increasing. Being alone doesn’t scare me anymore. Heh.


Lost for words.

My titles would probably seem like easy to predict cliches; just like my life. Its obvious that I’m following the Division Bell and I’m obsessed with the music and lyrics made by Pink Floyd. The truth is, I really am lost for words. I find myself beating around the bush when I write in my journal these days. I repeat the same conclusions over and over. I don’t understand myself and I get lost; lost for words.

A few people asked me about why I have not written anything in over 5 days, especially since I had loads of time on me and the weekend passed by too. I’ll admit that it wasn’t the deficiency of time or the will to type, it was just that I was trying to let a few days pass without having to live the never ending cycle of cliches that my life has become. I wouldn’t associate this just to the fortunate experience of losing love but also to the fact that; that grave, life altering encounter with love and women has since then made me hide from people and sometimes from my own self. I try to keep lying to myself that I’m happy and that I don’t need to worry about anything. Its like I wrote to Nids the other day, its difficult being like that. Why can’t I just be sad? Why is it that people have to mock my pain? Tell me that I need to be strong and all of that. Over and over again. They just want to see me happy – or so they say! I wonder how they don’t understand simple knot-theory. You cannot straighten a rope when it has knots. You cannot pretend the rope is straight by pulling it from both ends. You have to shrink it to whatever you can manage within your hands and then undo the knots. Thats when you can pull it to its maximum. Currently, I have a few knots in my life and I’m trying my level best to figure them out and make some good out of myself. I’ll end up suffering more if I push myself too hard. So, to all those people who don’t want to hear me – I’m sorry! I’ll manage.

Manra asked me the other day about why there was no mention about our visit to the 100 ft restaurant and all I could tell him was that there were too many beautiful things in my life and that all of them wouldn’t fit into the 500 MB of hosting I own. I decided to put that in this time though. Manra, thanks a lot for the Italian treat! I loved the starters, the paste and but of course the Mango juice. Its not surprizing that Manra hasn’t changed a lot. He’s still focussed and still adamant of his leadership ways. He has a pretty cut throat way of dealing with people while I have a more cheezy way. Anyway, we all have our own ways. Don’t worry too much Manra, you were a good commorade and a great team mate. We rocked and our names will be written in golden ink for all of DS history at CVG.

I watched a couple of movies recently. One of them was “Journey to the center of the earth” and I realized around a minute ago Golden Sparrowthat I watched the wrong movie. I was supposed to watch the latest one but I watched some shit which wasn’t the real deal. Must go home and get my hands onto the real movie. I hate it when I crap it up with my movies! Sometime back I managed to watch “Aamir” nice movie. Gripping to the end. Sad that Mr. Khandelwal had to die; blown into smithereens. I also watched “The Ruins” uhh, what was that? Ohh and I nearly forgot… I watched “The forbidden kingdom” and “The incredible Hulk” over this weekend. The first one sucked. Common? Whats wrong with those folks? Jackie Chan and Jet-Li; ughhh! Who wins? HAD to be Jet-Li, but then nada, Jackie still manages to come through and finally relive with the Elixir of life. The chinky chick in it looked cute, thats just about it. The Hulk though was extremely entertaining. You know how it is with guys? We like creatures and we like creatures fighting each other and well overall, your typical New York-in-the-hands-of-monsters kinda movie and I liked it. Update: My current weight has dropped down to 83 and I’m proud of the way things are going! Peace out.

A harmony I’m in love with:



Smooth sailing.

Hello!I’ve been lazy. My usual bouts of laziness that comes and goes. Like those days where I just don’t feel like typing. Plus, I thought; no one cares anyway. No one reads here anyway, so a few days worth gap wouldn’t matter much.

I thought I’d just walk by and say hello to anyone who might be following up here or reading the crap I type in. Abhi was here from 12th to the 15th and it was a lot of fun. Must say, HP and Bangalore would have been a 100 times better if he’d have been here. Time would have moved faster, I’d have laughed more and he’d have lost more weight than me and uhm, it’d have been fun! It sucked to see him leave.

I might decide to type in more about his trip and our outing to Nandi hills later. For now, I’m deadly bored. Peace out.


Wrapping up the weekend.

I had a wet weekend like most of us in Bangalore did. I got wet on Saturday and thus Sunday I felt like staying at home and keeping myself warm. Well, thats precisely what I did. I went out on Saturday with Ratheesh and a friend for a movie – Indiana Jones? Pfft, why doesn’t Harrison ford die? I mean, I’m sure about him being one of the best actors of HIS time, but just like Richard Gere, he should take his charm and just go, you know? Somehow, for a person of his age, its really difficult to digest the fact that he’d want to continue doing Indiana Jones. As sucky as James Bond 007. The movie; I was able to bear up only because of the fact that it included a treasure and I love treasures and treasure hunting. Also, just like the movie National Treasure, this movie also had a REAL treasure. Like a city of gold that they’d find in the end afterall. I hate those movies where you’d get to know that it was all a hoax or some goverment conspiracy to trap and kill you. Bugs me when they don’t find the treasure. Anyway, I spent 200 Rs on Harrison Ford, blargh!

We went to M.G road after that and it wasn’t a fulfilling experience because it rained and the guys were sissies. They weren’t ready to get wet. The other guy with us cribbed about how he had wet his undies in the rickshaw and spent time in a trial room at Bangalore Central trying to dry it under a fan there. I thought that was lame, but it worked for him nevertheless and it made him less cranky. We bought some T-shirts and oogled at the not-so-good chicks who had come there. I wonder why we oogled, heh. Ratheesh has only a few more months left to oogle like this and thus he oogles all the time, but why us? Man, I really don’t need them for now, do I? Girls that is. I wonder if I haven’t had enough of that curse for the time being? Shouldn’t I be concentrating on other important things; like TV? Anyway, I did realize that and we headed home after some horrdendous food at Bangalore Central. The rickshaw rides all in all cost me 200 bucks and it completely pissed me off when I reached home. Hell! I wasn’t going to drive the car, so yeah, thats ok too.

Sunday, at home. Cleaned up. The maid came, she got the house all spick and spanky. Got my clothes all washed and dried. Watch some quality TV. Spent some quality time with the cousin. He watched TV and played game as I slept. Overall, very satisfying to have someone home. It does get boring once in a while to be alone. Why else do you think I type so much these days? I blog nearly every other day. Not that it ticks me off, but I just start worrying about what I’m doing with my life. Maybe I need a companion? Then I get scared. Maybe I don’t! Wow. Its confusing and the being-alone part really gets me jittery. I watched the finals of the IPL today and watched the Rajasthan Royals win. The win wasn’t convincing, but it was a win nevertheless and they had really played well throughout the tournament. Shane Warne seems like a good captain, but I’ve heard that he sucks as a person. Well, who cares?

Uhm, thats it for my weekend. I’m out of night shifts and I am not doing any night shifts for this month. Yes, I’m happy about it and I’m going to sleep the nights for a whole month. Lets see if it reduces my headache maybe. Beginning the afternoon shift from tomorrow onwards. I must begin going to the gym regularly and for a considerable amount of time. I might begin with resistance training and I will speak to Umesh (the trainer) about a regime that I could follow. Over and above all, I must try and visit the doctor tomorrow. Lets see where that goes. Time to hit the sack. Night.