The petrol bunk drama; amongst others!

Before I go on to describe the ordeal that I had to go through at a petrol bunk here in Bangalore, I’d like to talk about how much of an imbecilic fool I’ve been and how my extravagant nature is finally getting onto my nerves. I was trying to book tickets online for the new mallu movie showing in PVR and my card got declined. Yes, you got that right – my credit card. CREDIT is the golden word here. I love credit cards, did I ever mention that? Well, how I love swiping those beauties into machines and churning out paper bills that don’t look cute. I stare at them and think, “WOW, I own this piece of shit!” I’m supposed to pay this baby off; my gold card from Citibank that is. Because if I don’t I’m sure it’ll rape me with all its might. Interest and interest ON interest. Overall, it’d become a charade of taxes and fees that’d ruin your INCOME. Well, who was to care? I’m a shopaholic and I’m not proud about the way I am. Uhm, I was never proud of the way I was and am, so to say. Why this sudden revelation? My card got declined and I go like, “What the fuck? I’ve got a crazy limit on this card!!” I call up Citibank and they talk to me about my dues. Man, I’m ruined. I won’t talk about how much I need to pay up, but please know that its a HUGE SUM OF CREDIT. And I’m pretty much ruined, sigh.

My recent additions to the things I own:
A new Timex Mariner (totally worth the buy):

Timex Mariner

Suck on this:

Suck on it, losers.

Levis; expensive shit:

Levis

I realized that I did not have any money after I bought all of this on my debit card. Simply put, I’m a bit more than broke for this month and a few more months to come. Another one of my theories went down the drains though. There’s this disease that I suffer from. I make up stories and think up things which are so wrong and baseless that in the end, I feel like asking myself to go fuck myself. Hrmphhh, does that make any sense? Arghhh, forget about it. The theory that you’d spend more if you have a girl friend is NOT TRUE. If any of you’ll had similar thoughts, well; not true. Infact, you’d spend more after a break up and then spend some more when you feel lonely; to fill the void and crap like that, you know? Anyhoo, I’m done with my crap. No more shitty expenditures for 6 months at least, kapiche?

Coming to the episode of the Petrol bunk. Now, most of you’ll must have seen me, right? If not, there’s a picture of me in the “About” section. Please look it up. So, from my picture, do I look like an idiot? From certain angles, yes, but look at the angle which makes me look smart and aware! From that angle, I don’t quiet look like a guy who’d be fooled all that easily, right? Well, here’s the deal – I want to fill petrol for Rs 500, thats my aim. I stop at this dirty little petrol bunk cause its the only one that falls on my way to work. There is Shell other than this, but thats way too expensive for my tastes anyway. So I stopped here and I know their tricks so, I showed him a Rs 500 ka note, gave him the note and asked him to fill petrol. First mistake: The bugger stops at 100. Why? Well, you asked me to fill up 100, didn’t you? And I look at him, all angry and red! I don’t say much, but I give him the meanest most dirtiest look ever. He, kinda startled by my rage, “Ohh, 500 aaaaaa??” with that typical “aaaa” attached in the end. I shut up and continue looking at the meter. Here he stops at 400. I look at him again, this time ready to thrash the shit out of him. I asked him why he stopped? He said, well, I began from 0 after filling upto 100. Then I began a saga of crap talk which lasted a full 10 minutes of a Kindi(hindi+Kannada) scuffle between me and him. In the end, the manager comes running. I tell him about what happened and that I’ve read enough off the internet, if he doesn’t go onto fill Rs 100 worth more of petrol, I’m calling the cops. He sulks, makes a face and mumbles something in Kannada, which might have meant; fill her up! He walks with a scoff and continues to count his notes. I look on as he touches 100. He throws a tantrum and picks up a few words in Kannada which I wouldn’t have understood. Throws it all around me and walks off. I ignore his poverty of sense and begin getting into my car. Thats when this guy (who took the money from me to begin with) he comes running and asks, “Saaaar, paisa?” and I give him the, “Dude!! What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!” kinda look and begin getting down from my car, this time really to thrash him up! I would have gotten thrashed if I had done that, but then things kinda rocketed out of my boundaries of tolerance. The bastard tried to trick me with this one? Who do I look like? You? Bastard. So I walk upto him and tell him that I gave him the money before filling the petrol. He looks at my very red face, searches his purse and comes up up with a Rs 500 note that wasn’t mine, cause I had given him a new one and this was a torn one. He nods his head in agreement to the fact that I did actually give the money and walks off with a kiddish giggle. I curse the gods and drive off. I mean, how would you try to con me with that one saaar? Anyway, that ends the saga. I’m happy its over and hence on, I’ll fill oil only at Shell. Fuck you, assholes!

-Anup

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