Losing people.

I feel very strongly that I’m heading for a new beginning. I somehow seem to find it easy losing all the people I thought were mine and people I thought I could never do without. Alas! I feel strangely alright when I see them walking out of my life. It seems just right that they left me. I don’t feel like chasing any of them. All I feel like doing is continue and not turn back. I feel like picking up the next movie and watching it. I feel like jogging some more and losing some weight too! Hah. The irony of the situation is, I thought I’d have more friends to talk to when I was losing love (continous present tense) but now when I turn back, I had two or three odd people who just walked behind me, lest I fall and I won’t thank them because if I do, I might lose on their debt. I’d want myself to be indebted to them for all my life. Now, when I’m done and over with me, the lovestruck me, I’m continuing to lose people. People I love and new friends. Its like fate is conspiring against me to help Anup build again! I will. I miss them all and sometimes I feel my eyes getting wet, but then, these days I seem to have the will power and the ability to just get up with a smile and walk away.

I have been suffering from a terrible neck and head ache for the past month and a half. Its the similar kind of pain that seemed to strike when I was playing God of War! It went off by itself and I was hoping that it’d go away this time too, but that isn’t happening and now I’m worried. Sometimes, the pain is unbearable and all I can do is bear up with the pain. Mom and Radha aunty have been asking me to go to the doctor forever now, but I’ve been lazy and I’m broke. The Goa trip and the classes and Pune and other expenses for this month was heavy and all I can think of is for the 30th to come over fast. The pain gets mild once in a while, but it kills when it returns, because thats when it comes on with its entire force. I will visit the doctor once I get my salary.

I had a pretty relaxing weekend. I slept throughout saturday and had fun talking to Radha Aunty, Kuttapi, Ammu, Mom and sister. I sat up the whole night with granny (Radha aunty’s mom) and we gave company to each other like wing-men in a random bar. The only difference being the part where we drank Horlicks for the kick! Totally awesome. I slept at around 5 AM in the morning and woke up at 8 all ready to hit the traffic and take mom and the kids out! I showed mom around HP and she and the kids were were happy being here. I felt proud. Proud about the fact that I’m here and well, thank you HP! Sunday ended with rain. It was awesome; we came back home, me and Kuttapi and played some COD (Call of Duty 4) Ohh! did I forget to mention about the game? Its an awesome one. A must get. I enjoy playing it with Kuttapi and I dozed off after like 1 AM and some random chatting with some random people that I don’t remember now. I think I spoke to Shagufta and it was very weird. I’d rather not talk about it, but then, I seem to say a neverending bye to her that day. Sucked.

Monday, as promised was the day for watching the Tamil flick – Kuruvi which had IlaythalIlayathalapathy Vijay - Kuruviapathy Vijay and Trisha acting. The movie was at 12:45 and we wasted time from 10:AM to 12:45 PM inside forum. Mostly inside landmark and Westside and there seemed to be no problem with passing time as we bought random stuff. I bought all the books of Chetan Bhagat for Ammu since it was her birthday on the 25th. Me and Kuttapi bought T-shirts; same ones with different sizes. Cousins style! We then ate at Transit and the food was good and inexpensive. Weird shit. That never happens inside Forum. I managed to glance at the MacBook slim and it totally rocked. Priced at 91,800 it was an electronic beauty. Anyway, all that being done, we watched the movie Kuruvi. It rocked and the movie made me very very happy. Vijay has lost weight and however much he overacted, it still suited him and yes, he’s my favourite actor; action, comic and romantic. Totally awesome. A must watch for all Vijay fans. I might decide to watch it again, just for his action and the smile. I don’t care if I sound gay, but well…

We got back home and mom came back with me to my flat. The flat needed some cleaning and I wasn’t going to do it on my own or even do it at all. Mom decided to do the clean up job while I watched. The house is sparkling new now and I feel awesome there too! Mom, you’re the best. I spent some quality time with mom talking about home, her sister and other things. She seemed to be disturbed and I thought it’d be better to talk to her once she’s done worrying because talking about the thing that worries her would just get her BP high. I dropped her back home (Radha aunty’s place) and waited for dinner. Its Kuttapi’s 10th class results tomorrow and we’re all anxious about how much he’d score. I have my fingers crossed. Hope he does well. I got to work by 10. Its Memorial day today and its slower than usual at work. I guess I’m going to be done with work in approximately 4 hours more. Thats it then, more in next. The Goa document is over. Will upload it by tomorrow. I’m tired.

-Anup

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