I had the laugh of my life today. The coolest part is, I laughed at myself and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Ohh! No, I’m sane. It just so happened that I met an ancestor in a wierdish way! HP is a green place. Eco friendly and a lovely place to be. I love the ambience so much so that I end up taking a walk all the time; just to stare at the grass, the trees and for the fresh air that keeps blowing up on your face. Most usually, its with Ratheesh, Avinash or with Nikhil these days. I drink a lot of tea and yes, its fun discussing technical stuff with Avinash.
We went down for some tea and chat just around the time when dusk was setting in and I love it outside during that time. I grabbed a “Tiger” and some tea and walked out with a handful of guys. Infact, I remember that there were quite a few people with me at that time. Surprizingly, Hemant was there with me too! He usually ends up being in another shift, but he had stayed back on this specific day. So, yes, we walked out to the smoking zone, tea in hand and ready for some talk. I sat down along with Amit, this hunky guy at work and had the rest of the guys facing me. We began discussing some stuff and I was talking to Hemant if I remember the incident correctly. Suddenly I saw all the guys running backwards and looking at me. I saw their eyes gaze to something behind me. I turned and found this rather large monkey walking with all its might towards the biscuit in my hand. I thought it wanted the tea I had (that was stupid of me!) So I kept the cuppa tea there, dropped the biscuit and jumped off.
Here’s the cool part. The monkey tore the plastic cover off quite comfortably and munched down all the biscuits without leaving me a bite! I managed to get back my tea though and I was really pissed at myself for giving him my biscuits. Hrmphhh, hope you’re happy you ape! The monkeys then continued to ransack a container full of supplies which was kept outside. The guys were carting them in, but they left the containers open and the monkeys made away with a couple of bottles of juices, some packets of foodstuff and other things too, like razors! Anyway, I had a hearty laugh at myself later and at the whole incident. I mean, no kidding, the monkey looked dangerous to me with its teeth clenched and the way it looked me in the eyes. These apes aren’t scared of anyone, they just roam the campus as if its their land and we must share our food with them since we’re using their space!
That being said, the workload has increased and I manage to keep myself busy for most part of the day. I feel lonely sometimes. Like, I miss her once in a while, not always and not anymore, anyway, but yes, I do miss her. Then I miss my family and friends. I really miss Abhi, Muiz and Smikh. Smikh keeps busy or uhm, I’m not sure she pretends to be busy, because thats how she maintains that distance from people to whome she shouldn’t get too close. Abhi is hell busy too, since the call flow in DS is in an all time high. Muiz was busy too, the last time that I spoke to him. The people who have loads of time for me are Radha Aunty, my cousins at home here in Bangalore, mom and Sneha. Dad is busy with the financial year ending work.
I’ve thought about writing a new section. I need more ideas and I’m drawing the initial sketch for the page. I’ll begin working on it once I have a fair idea of what I want. Its a section called “People” where I’d end up writing about important people in my life. I was also thinking on lines where I could amalgamate a gallery into wordpress, but I don’t have a lot of bright ideas right now and somehow, I lack the required motivation for such a project. The other ideas I’m working on is, Health, music and ohh, earning some more wealth! I’m going to work towards this from next week on and try to keep myself away from any weird thoughts. I’d need to get me to believe in myself and really WANT to start living again. It isn’t too hard they say and I trust them! My mom talks to me each day and tells me about how my pain worries her a lot. She is someone I cannot hurt for long and I know that its time I stop troubling her. I’ve always given her pain and I’m not proud about it. Dad seems to be ok. Sneha is doing fine, college and friends. She’s probably having the time of her life and I feel stupid for having troubled her with teared up phone calls at 2 in the morning. Man, I’ve been sucking up big time. Cribbing about how my life sucks instead of working on it. I mean, its not all that hard, you know? No. I don’t! Thats what I feel. Its not all that easy. Its just not easy to forget what I felt for a person. Its not easy to forget the time spent together. Its nearly impossible to forget the smiles, the laughs and all the good things that happened. And now that I know that its all going to go. Now since I know that she’s gone… it gets really really difficult. People say that I need to be more stronger. Why? The weaker I am, the stronger she gets! I’m tired of telling people that she is someone who wouldn’t care. Like, she’d forget me within a few days if she gets the chance. I’ve been a fool in trying to talk to her and she’s been brave enough to still talk to me. Guess its time to let go. I really need to do what I last said – relive. Lets see whats in store.
Peace.
-Anup
