Abhi – Helmet Pinched

Bangalore revisited

Its been less than 7 months since I left Bangalore behind but its all that I can think of now and my craving to return is growing stronger by the minute. Now, I’m fairly certain that this post might be prematurely ended due to my short attention span and my addiction to movie re-runs; which I must say is despicable because I’ve been repeating movies that I’ve watched a zillion times! Sometimes, I even remember the dialogues that is to follow but then, I’m addicted to re-runs and that’s all that I’m doing these days. I’m supposed to be working, reading, following up with dad on my marriage arrangements and other grave matters that need my attention but all I do whenever I find time is port into my hard drive full of movies that I’ve downloaded over the past 3 years and browse through. I then find a movie I’d like and there you have a re-run! Its suddenly hit me that around 10 days of leaves have sped by with me doing nothing but movie re-runs, a couple of books and some other things in general; which I must say I absolutely HAD to do. Like take a small stroll, stare at the gym from outside and contemplate an entry, stare at the Dubai skyline from my terrace and think about things, daily chores in the bathroom and a couple of stray discussions with the store manager at Madina super market, Bur Dubai.

I’d also like to bring to my notice the evident and seemingly alarming distance from human contact. So I have this room and I am in it. Its got everything you need. Split AC, a fridge, a bathroom, a bed, the internet and windows which you need not open! Its the perfect place to bury yourself and never be seen again. Hell yeah! That’s what I’ve been going through for the past 5 odd days and its silenced me from the inside. Sometimes, I even feel like I don’t have a shadow! What the fuck? Its so pissed at my lethargy that it went on a stroll by itself. I catch up to it overtime though. I’m scared of being alone in this cold desert. Don’t leave me alone, ehh? Things haven’t moved since the time I got in and I don’t intend on moving them into the cupboard because this room would then creep me out more. I haven’t turned the lights off in over 5 days – again cause it scares me every now and then. The new apartment is gorgeous no doubt but every once in a while it seems like Room 1408 in that movie. The one where they had a dead ghost living somewhere amongst its tiles. Damn! I’m going to have another sleepless night today. I’m hoping for work and hard labor to fix this problem. Work will commence tomorrow after an excruciating gap of 10 days and Boy! am I happy.

I’ll set aside the ramble for now and keep it for another date. As the topic suggests the aforementioned wasn’t my prime topic of discussion for today. It was Bangalore. If there was anyone who was following this blog and reading every now and then if not always, you’d note my obvious love for Bangalore. There aren’t any grave reasons for this. I just like the city for no reason. It seems like my place to be and the city where I’d finally settle down. I’ve lived a dreamy life there and come to think of it now, I’ve never been as alone as I am today. Again, loneliness is a state of mind and it can be easily overcome… yada yada yada!! Blargh, up yours with all that mumbo jumbo. I had friends there. However little they be, they were there. I didn’t meet them as often as I’d want to but then its ok, you know? It was enough that they were around. This post is dedicated to those glorious 18 months that I spent in Bangalore AFTER wrapping up a masquerading bitch of a period in Pune. A few clicks full of memories…

A lot of pictures have been left behind and I guess I’d track back to them a few months down the line. I’m sure my homesickness would just keep growing until the day I decide to return once and for all. From the looks of it, that day isn’t too far. I’ve always known that I wasn’t meant to be out of India and these days that I spend outside of my motherland yell an affirmative to my precognized notion. Point being, I’ve had people like Kuttapi, Ammu and Radha aunty who were MORE than my own family (trust me; in a lot of different ways), I had friends like Chetan and Ajay. These are probably the coolest people I’ve ever known. Anymore cooler than this and that’d make them backstabbing bastards. A karaoke pub that would let me sing and people who really did not care how you sang as long as you had the balls to do it! An opportunity to listen to Ajay sing "Smells like Teen spirit" and "Angels" AND rocking on both accounts. Chetan and me walking on the street and bursting out with streams of teared laughter at the aunty who let one go! Abhi and his very regular visits. The writers club and those emails that were exchanged. I can go on and on and on. Reasons aplenty for why I loved that city and how much I long to go back.

Now, the most obvious question is – Then why the fuck are you still stuck there? Well, you got to know this – a typical middle class mans life is full of a series of different kinds of shit – obligatory shit, responsibility shit, you-live-in-a-society-shit amongst others. I’m not different. As stuck as can be in a mud puddle which is grippy and ruthless. Questions like, "Ahhh, you’re back so soon?" with the "What a loser! tssk tssk" kinda face. "But son, you shouldn’t have wasted an opportunity like this!" You need more? I have more – "What?? You’re getting married – you need the cash! Don’t be a whiney loser like XYZABC, hang on!" Finally, the peach, "Damn! you got laid off, didn’t you?" I’m too scared of these questions and I don’t wish to fall down in order to answer them. Guess we all get fucked by the society one way or another. I’ll just deal with it for a while and fly back when I feel its time and when I’m no more part of a society that knows me.

Well, apart from these teeny weeny problems life pretty bright. Dubai is under 80 billion worth debt they say. I have no freaking clue of what’s going on and when I’d be thrown out of my job. What’s the point in thinking? I’d play the wait and watch game for now cause uhm, that’s all that you can do. I’m not going to crib, fret and frown over my job because there is no dearth for opportunities! In other news, Sneha is getting married too and I’m super excited. My long vacation starts on the 28th of January and I cant wait for the days to fly by. I cant bear the void anymore and I cant wait for Mrs. Menon to come over. Well, that’s it for now and I hope to god that this finally shows up as a post. I don’t trust myself with blogging these days. I have no clue about what’s gotten into me. Publishing a post seems to be a herculean task and I most usually find a reason to discard the draft by the end of it. This is lovingly dedicated to all those people back in Bangalore/Pune and Kerala *winks* This is to tell you’ll that I miss you’ll truck loads. Peace out.

-Anup

Happy birthday Abhi!

I’ve been in a rut for over a month now and I guess I’m experiencing my first ‘Writers Block’ It’s a rut of remaining tucked in. Cuddled up within my warm fuzzy comforter. Ohh yeah, you heard that right. A comforter in Dubai? When it’s burning down on the sands? The carrier AC in my room is broke and it functions at 16 degree celcius. So, yes, its freezing. But thats alright as far as I’m concerned because I can withstand the cold but never the heat. The early morning heat ruins my want for more sleep, the afternoon heat eats up on my apetite (I dig the pun here) and the evening heat kills my want to wander out and ogle at the triple calved escorts roaming the streets of Bur Dubai. I tell you, French women are something else! JHC, what thighs! Tiny trouser kinda thingies, heels that’d make them taller than Prahlad who is six feet two and diamond cut stockings which could make me wanna throw up. Now I’m sure that’s a sight you’d never want to miss cause precisely; at that very second, when you ponder at reasons for them appearing the way they do… you’d find this amazing BMW 7200 slowly pull up to one of them and they’d slid right in. wOOt ehh? Point being, I’m a home-office-bathroom-commode-office-repeat kinda guy right now and I’m blissfully happy.

Coming to why I actually decided to blog; considering my enormous bout of lethargy and its visible side effects, its Mr. Shedge’s birthday! Ohh yes, Abhijit Shedge has turned uhm, XX years old. He’s lived another glorious year still reigning the world and still the creator of the Matrix. The Matrix that we live in. Yes, you got that right. He is that man who knows everything. He knows why you smile, he knows whats going on in your head and he even knows what you’d do tomorrow at 11:00 AM and if he doesn’t, all he needs to do is to look up his chat logs. Abhi’s chat logs are magical, you know? These logs seem to know things he knows plus more. Simply put, he’s amazing. And I’m not even kidding or being sarcastic, if thats what you’ll think this is. This is a clear word picture of one of the most valuable people in my life.

I’m too far away to give him a hug, a gift and loads to laugh about but I thought I’d take up this opportunity to do something I can do – Give him a few days of fame on this blog (yeah, you got that right!) and secondly thank him. Somehow, when it comes to Abhi, however much I say, thank you’s just dont seem to suffice. He’s the kind of guy who’d stick by when you’ve been nothing but an asshole. The kinda guy you’d find at your doorstep… BEFORE YOU CALL FOR HIM! Most importantly, he’s the kind of guy who’d never miss a phone call. That’s life saving, you know? To have people like him in your life is nothing short of a miraculous gift from god. Most people go all their lives without friends like him and I’m happy that he’s been around, from the times when we were nothings. But we were together at it. I’m proud of having outgrown my self-proclaimed poverty of money, sense and maturity along with him. He’s still immature though and his PJ’s are out of this world. Those are jokes that can be digested only by the tall man – Chetan Parik. What strikes me the most is his sense and understanding which suddenly seems to pop out of nowhere when it comes to things outside his circle of comfort. He’ll quickly turn into this calm, well spoken, knowledgeable guy who can connect with everyone around him without an effort! Where we may take months and years to make friends, he takes days. And I can go on about Abhi but then I guess I’d end this cause I just don’t want any spoil sights looking at him.

Abhi, if not 100, may you live a million years more in complete harmony with all your loved ones around and I’m dying to return into that protective circle. I cannot explain how insecure I feel when I’m not around my people; especially you, Muiz and Smikh. This is the best I can do for now – a treat to your eyes. Here’s about you and only you on my blog. Wish you many happy returns of the day. Happy budday to you, hatthi padla pu pu! Thanks for being there brother… from another mother. I’ve always wanted to use that idiom. Neat ehhh?

-Anup

Kerala roadtrip, Wonder la and Feminism.

I finally completed my write-up on my Kerala outing and its here. Its a rather elaborate one and it has details not everyone may like. So proceed at your own risk. The trip was amazing and I loved every inch of it. I’d like to do it again sometime and yes this time it’d be alone for sure!

I watched Vaarnam Ayiram today. I’ve been waiting for that movie since a year odd now. They had its promos on since then but then I guess they finished on the project recently due to various reasons. Anyhoo, it was finally here and I went over to PVR and watched it – alone and happy! I realized something here, I am better of by myself. I seem to have a problem with people and this includes friends and family. Small things annoy me. Ahhh, speaking of which; Abhi was in town over the weekend and we (Abhi, me, Chetan and Amod) went over to Wonder La! I can’t put into words about how exhilirating those rides were. The rides, the coasters, the water rides… man, this was undoubtedly one of my best weekends in Bangalore. What I noticed when I was with all these lovely people was that small things annoyed me and I ended up annoying these good people because of my annoyed self. This is something I learnt about myself very recently. I’m sure I wasn’t like this before. I was irritable but I used to get back to my normal self within no time but these days I seem to stick to small things and make a mountain out of a molehill. I hate this. Somehow, I feel these fine people would be better off without me too! Not always; but yeah almost always. Did I miss the point? The movie rocked. Sameera Reddy looks old and Surya looks a-m-a-z-i-n-g! The story is a bit spread out but then I loved it anyway.

I’ve been tagged by Layman and this time its Feminism!!! Arghhh… Why Deepak? Its a very controversial subject and I’ve been in huge conflicts on this before and these debates have led us nowhere. Its a modern mans nightmare – Feminists. People who decide to defy the creator and demand equality between both the sexes. In this egalitarian society, they say; we must be considered equals. Everything that man has, we should. I spoke about this before too and its here. I mean, I fail to understand their ignorance. How can we be equals? When you don’t fulfill the basic requirements – physical difference. We are different and there is no question of equality. Why do these women want to fall down to where we men are? Why don’t they understand that they are way above. Up there they are starlight and they wish to fall down to where darkness prevails like mist over mossy, quicksand infested dirty land.

Feminists are usually frustrated about how women are oppressed and pushed down by men. What? Seriously; can that even happen in today’s world? Why don’t you go find yourself something constructive to do? Or if you’re talking about the society where people-pollution hasn’t arrived yet. Luckily, I’d say because people such as yourself haven’t polluted their minds with unnecessary demands. So if you’re talking about little villages and uneducated women then I’d say let them fight their own battles. There wouldn’t be feminists there who talk for them, they’d deal with their own life. None of us need to speak for them. I’ve written about this once before when I was upset about having to live with the fairer sex. I very nearly ended up being a sexist bastard but I’m alright now I guess. That article is here. Also, a few things I’d like to make clear. Unto times infinity men will do the following:

a) Woo, hit, flirt.
b) Love, make love and help reproduce (make life)
c) Help women play god! I put this one separately.
d) Care, be insecure, be demanding and everything else.
e) There will be no paradigm shifts to the rule. You will be eve and I’ll be Adam!

-Anup

Clear skies.

Here’s a little something that came into my head out of event horizon:

Clear skies, yet again
A blessing to your eyes
Orange dawn drives me insane.
From within me guzzles;
Warm thoughts of life,
Hope within hopes
Lies within lies,
Wants and desires,
Dreams and pain;
Concealed within hot fires,
All of them so seemingly hidden,
Beyond the horizon;
Some warmth from within the cold.
Chirping birds and humming bees,
Yellow light – mystic and crimson…
Clear skies – blue, orange and white,
Studded with me, me and me!

It was a lovely feeling early today morning. I’m not sure how but like Chetan said yesterday… nature knows that its festive time maybe. Heavy rains lashing the city stopped well before Diwali and has since then shown mercy to the midgets that we are. Living off of whatever is thrown down to us, inconsiderate and nothing but a plague to Gaya and the life she carries within herself. We continue to hurt her and there seems no end. We really are a plethora of erosive parasites and we’re slowly eating her up. But then, she’s ever forgiving and God is loving. I have no other justification to the wonderful people in my life right now and I’m insanely happy.

We celebrated Diwali pompously on the 27th; uhm yeah, one full day ahead of when it actually was! But then, it made me very happy cause I have such amazing people in my life and I’d consider myself to be lucky if at least these few people stick by. Ratheesh and Chetan had come over with crackers that we bought for 60% discount (apparently) . We visited the temple and prayed (good guys, aren’t we?) burst some crackers and here’s when me and Chetan got a dose of poisonous fumes and the both of were in neck deep trouble. He ended up uncomfortable, cold and itchy and I was breathless. I couldn’t sleep much because my lungs kept me awake. I just couldn’t breathe when I tried to lie down. Radha aunty was a life saver yesterday morning. I was looking for some medical shop that would be open but none of them were and I decided to ask Radha aunty if she knew of some place. Thats when she gave me an inhaler that she had and I’d say it saved my life. Food and now this! Man, you’re awesome. Speaking of food; we stuffed ourselves with sweets and by day end it kinda got me and Ratheesh into a lot of shit; literally *winks*

I’m compelled to talk about this movie I watched – A Scanner Darkly. Now, this was the first Rick LinkLater movie I watched and I haven’t watched ‘Waking life’ but I’ve heard a lot about it and I need to watch it as soon as this download is over. I’ve become an abuse to the internet, a leecher with no morals cause I don’t like seeding. I download and then stop. Damn! these days, I don’t like the idea of sharing. Anyway, the movie talks about a guy and thereby indicating a world full of drug addicts and the the paranoia, perceptual distortions, and chaos of hallucinogenic overindulgence. Keanu Reaves does an awesome job as per uge’ and I love his style. I’ve loved him in movies like “The Matrix Trilogy” and “Constantine” he’s been amazing in movies like “The Lake House” “A walk in the clouds” and now this. The guy does an amazing job of portraying emotions in a not-so-shahrukhanish style! To the point, clear, concise and stylish. I did watch a few other movies – Contract Killers, A Cinderella Story, Quarantine and a few more but Scanner Darkly was different because of its story line and the animation done to people who actually acted in the movie. Looked creepy, mysterious and thats what made the movie even more gripping. A couple of good things that happened over the weekend – Abhi is back! I’m happy that he is. I got the t-shirt I’ve been wanting since ever – The Division Bell and it totally rocks. Finally, I’m playing Dante – Devil May Cry 3 and so far, its an outstanding game. I can’t explain how awesome it is. Not right now at least cause I’m into it so maybe the next time I’d ramble on about the game! Peace out suckers.

-Anup