Occasions – Page 4 – Helmet Pinched

Happy birthday to me!

I don’t feel too different! Hmmm, should I be feeling any different? Don’t know; don’t care. I’m 25 now and I’ve outgrown another year. The world I live in isn’t as godforesaken as I thought it was. Its sweet sometimes and bitter the other times. I’ve learnt that for all the times I feel happy and content – there are gloomy days waiting to be explored. Thats one of gods unsolveable puzzles and no math; no mind can solve the co-relation between joy and grief! I for one, have learnt some very important lessons throughout chapter 24 and I’m going to forget the last 2 years of my life. They have been amazingly joyous at times and killingly painful on other occasions. My gig hence on is going to be limited to include only me and I’m going to make matter out of whatever abstract, invisible rather light sets of beauty I have left around me! Did that make sense to anyone? Uhm, I’m going to make ME matter! I’m important and I’m nice. I’m not what others think of me. I am what I make out of me. I’m going to live life – Mt. Everest size.

I turned 25 yesterday – 3rd July 2008. The celebrations were little but very satisfying. I sang my heart out and I felt good about it. All thanks to Ajay though. He gave me the push I required to walk up and sing. The whole thing was amazing. I’d start off with these pictures:

We visited the beach. It was one of the most satisfying birthdays I’ve ever had cause I sang for myself and I sang the song I love a lot. Ajay arranged it all up with the help of his DJ friend at the beach. He sang a few songs too, which ruled as usual and he then went on to tell everyone present that it was my birthday and that I’d be singing next. Good, I got everyone’s attention and I begin with telling everyone about how naive I am to Karaoke singing and that I’m no good at it; thats when I noticed that people were really supportive of Karaoke and that they wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t as good as Ajay. So sing I did… and it was awesome! Ajay proceeded to sing some more songs and Hemant gave him company with beer. So, overall, a very good way to end my special day and it was very fulfilling. Thanks once again to Ajay and Hemant for being there.

I’m going to Pune tomorrow. Driving down with Fahd and I’m fairly excited about going home. I’m still creeped out about going back, but then, its ok I guess. Its better to face your fears than run away. So, I’d be there upto the 9th and I guess I deserve this break. I wouldn’t be around till then. I’m driving in the rain, so other things are possible too *winks* The ringing of the division bell has begun.

This is a dedication to myself:

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun

Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway
Do they still meet there by the Cut

There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide

At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There’s a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
Though down this road we’ve been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river

Forever and ever

-Anup

The Beach.

It was Abhi’s birthday on the 11th and if I haven’t mentioned this before – I’m very poor with numbers and dates alike. I somehow seem to prefer text more to numbers. I must say that I’ve been fascinated by numbers recently because I’m watching the series – Numb3rs. Its funny that when I’m writing, I’d prefer writing it as twenty instead of 20. It seems to glorify my affinity towards letters and words of the English language and takes me further away from numbers. Well, thats precisely why I was very bad at Math. I was good at algebra though because it had letters in it, you know? Formulae and others. I found it easy to comprehend and understand.

I suddenly noticed that I’ve strayed away from the point and so I’d just quickly trackback to where I was; Abhi’s birthday. He turned 27 and we celebrated his birthday and his coming to Bangalore (for 2 days) in complete style yesterday at this place called “The Beach” This was an awesome experience for me, Ajay and Ritesh (Ajay’s friend from mumbai) Abhi sucked on his obvious distaste for loud music that he could not comprehend much. He stared at the table and wondered, “Whats wrong with these people!?” Ajay sang well. In fact, I’d say he did an outstanding job of entertaining all those who were present. There was this other guy, I’m not sure about his name, so lets call him Sam. So Sam was the other singer who sang very well and that too without losing an ounce of energry. Mostly because of all the smoke he was puffing in and out along with whatever it was that he was drinking. Then there was this gay guy who sang very much like Enrique and the chicks dug his style of singing. Ohhh, and we actually had a gay guy there who wore denims meant for the girls and those flat osho type slippers that they wear. The girls seemed to be very comfortable around him and they danced along, sometimes weird and the other times funny. Then there was this guy who had come along with a girl who seemed disturbed that she was there with him and was trying to avoid any kind of talks. She stared at all the others around and tried to avoid talking to him. This guy was stupid anyway, he sat on the seat after he had pushed the cushion down, jackass. He tried to dance with a chick who thought she could dance, but then Ajay and me though that they sucked at it. There was this one girl that I liked, but then she was a bloody chimney. I guess they were this gang of friends and friends of friends who knew each other. It was a gang of around 25 odd people and they were all fired up. Funny that Ajay still stole the show with songs like – Angel, Alice and Smells like Teen spirit. I actually loved it when he sang Smells like teen spirit cause I was jumping around and yelling along from behind. The next time, I’ll be up front and I’ll make sure that I croak. YAY for Karaoke.

We got over the food part pretty quickly cause we had delicious french fries and some amazing paneer starters. No one wanted anything to eat after it. They drank some beer, smoked a lot of cigs and the shop closed its gates at 11. Its pretty strict here in Bangalore and somehow, I feel its a good practise. Lesser deaths due to accidents caused off negligent/under the influence of alcohol driving. Most dancers and clubbers hate it though and they’re hoping that the new government would probably take out the various limits and bans they’ve set. Well, lets see where that goes.

We clicked a few pictures after reaching home and from there Ajay and the guys came over to my place to drop me. Here was where we picked Abhi up and kicked him like madmen at 12:00 AM in the morning. Adventurous, I’d say; picking Abhi up was arduous and then we had to kick him simultaneously. I guess his ass musn’t have hurt cause its huge and all full of chubby ASS! Well, that ended the whole Karaoke thing and I must say, I enjoyed it. Thanks Ajay.

Something I missed to type in from last week. I watched the movie Sarkar Raj and I’d say its a must watch. Not for RGV, he sucks more after his AAG! But then, you wouldn’t want to miss the chemistry of the father-son duo in the movie. They rocked. Aishwarya looked old, weird and unfit for the clothes she wore, I thought. Plus, she’s tall in an unattractive way, unlike Shilpa Shetty or Deepika Padukone; well they look delicious! The movie is awesome and I loved the sound track. I must sleep now, haven’t slept in two days and I am about to crash on the keyboard.

-Anup

New year – 2008

I’m sure about that all the millions of blogs on the world wide web would have a post about the onset of new year, 2008. There would be loads of them which are full of fun things that happened and about experiences that they had in year 2007. Mine though wouldn’t have any nostalgic notations because 2007 isn’t a year I’m proud of. Infact, it sucked so much that I’d bury the journal in which I wrote about this year.

I don’t expect anything from year 2008 because somehow I get the feeling that it’s going to be just as frustrating as 2007 was. I know, I sound like nothing less than a cynical critic; but, somehow I’m slipping. The loneliness gets onto me. I thought I’d be okay with it, however the way I’m being treated by people close to me, somehow seems to take over me and I begin wasting my dignity. I don’t like it and I really want to get back to being a normal guy.

I’m not sure how. Currently, it sucks to be me.

-Anup