Writing here and writing anywhere else for that matter has become near to impossible owing to the colossal changes happening in my life. I’m making a structural change too and I’m pretty excited about it. The infrastructure in Mr. Menons life is going to be sharpened with new overdrives, sidewalks and boulevards being made. I’ve been negligent and there have been days when I’ve stared for hours at my word file with no productive content. It’s no writers block, I feel. It’s more to do with the fact that my life is going to change drastically from Sunday the 20th of September and I spend my time these days pondering upon the implications of such a change. Therefore, it was bound to happen! These questions in my mind were bound to reach this virtual journal. There are a few other updates to include as well. Guess it’s been some time since I posted an update. What if people want to know about me and about things happening to me? Or maybe they already know but want to read anyway. Abhi is one of them. The ever knowing guy, he likes to read about things he already knows. So, here goes…

Anup in Dubai:
From my previous write-ups; I’m sure it’s evident that I’m not a big fan of Dubai and about how much I miss my motherland, Pune especially. I miss Pune a lot and I don’t know why. I was happy when I was in Bangalore and never actually wanted to go back to Pune even though it had all my peeps. But then, these days I miss Pune profusely and all my love for the Marathi language keeps ogling out. Probably because I thought Pune had all these memories that I despised and the ghosts of my past that I kept running away from. Point to note though; the answer to all those fears were also in Pune. Most, if not all, of my friends are in Pune. Or let me put it this way – people who really love me are in Pune and I think I’ve wanted to go back ever since I went to Bangalore but then things happened and I’m not too proud about it. Every time Ajay or Chetan mentioned about going back to Pune it’d burn me a bit because uhm, these people were the only people I had in Bangalore and I did not want them to leave. So I secretly thought about reaching Pune before they did because for sure, I know that one fine day, that’s where they’ll be! There is something about Maharashtra and its people that I agree was non-existent in Bangalore. Now this is probably because of my love for the language Marathi, which in its ‘rudra’ form can get real nasty. Why this now? Well, I like Marathi movies courtesy Abhijit A. Shedge. I watched “Aga bai Arechya” again yesterday after listening to a couple of its songs. Namely, “Man Udhaana Vaaryachi” and “Malhaar Vaari” Those songs touch me where Malayalam just can’t! I am a Malayali but then, I’ve been in Maharashtra for over 24 years and therefore I belong to it. Jai Maharashtra!

Dubai has been very rewarding thus far and I feel thankful to god for having given me this opportunity. I have earned a few to-be friends. As in, people I like and people who seem to like me and people I think will be my friends. Maybe, somewhere down the line. I’m not quite sure. I’m crazy like that. Being friends with people isn’t an easy thing for me to do. Friendship isn’t the mere hi-hello’s right? It’s more than that? I’ve had a roomie here for over 3 months now and the very fact that I’m still with him suggests that he’s alright. Even though he seems to talk a lot for his age, you know? He’s a young kid who has gained a lot at a plum age and therefore his adrenaline pumps every time he talks to the elders (us) and he feels proud about where he is now. And he must! I don’t see a problem with that. The problem is with words that seem to bother people. I’m pretty alright because I give it right back but then, he needs to be careful. Apart from him there are a few people at work I talk to and things seem to be flowing alright for now. I do not want a lot of changes for now because what I’d need here on is stability. I can’t afford a lot of mistakes or misfortunes and I’m heavily relying on mom and her prayers! The work culture in Dubai is something which I’m not used to. It worries me sometimes but there is little I can do about it. We have two sections (or more) of people here; two sections that I know of, the full time employees and the contractors or consultants so to say. Nuff said, FTEs have HR and the consultants don’t and of course there is this huge discrepancy in the money they earn for uhm, pretty much the same kinda work being done. It’s very common for people to be exploited here and you have to be careful when you sign up. This is something I have known from word of mouth and from personal experience. I guess it’s alright to talk about it since I’m not taking names. Add to that, sometimes, you really got to cut back on your ego to survive here. Keep your dignity alive but well, yes; lose out on your ego if you want to keep hanging on! Its tax free money for love’s sake! Apart from all this, Dubai is hot and exercising isn’t a possibility right now. This adds to me physically and I’m worried. I promise to do something about it when I return and I will post in with updates on that – WITHOUT FAIL! That’s that about being Anup in Dubai.

Professionally speaking:
I’ve landed on a goldmine! Alright now this bit is for those who know and understand my line of work. I’m sure it’ll be full of technical jargons the others might not care. The thing about me professionally is that I need a drive to work to my full potential and do well. An iota of motivation does wonders for me and I manage to amaze myself always. I was hired as a “Systems Administrator” or a “Microsoft Consultant” as on my offer letter. Now this is a very ambiguous title and it means that people like me who are specialty centric need to start working hard. I’ve been working on the Active Directory part of Microsoft Servers and that’s how it’s been for over 4 years! Now suddenly, I’m expected to know bits of almost all the Microsoft technologies available and this has evidently taken its toll on me. I currently am responsible for technologies like ISA, Citrix, Print services, User provisioning (Hell yeah!) and double it up since we have two such environments to take care of. Microsoft HMC also comes under us and that’s a complex thing right there for you. I also manage to interact a lot with the Incident/Problem/Change Management team and I am deeply involved with the day to day operations of a 3500 strong company. This involves a lot of procedures and paper work since the people here are very signature driven. Approvals are not online and you have to walk up to people, discuss changes, explain why it’s needed and then get them to sign. Its old school but very effective, I guess. I also get to interact a lot with the network operations and firewall management teams here thereby increasing my understanding of the way things work when it comes to systems security and infrastructure management from a security standpoint.

Simply put, there is a humongous amount of data that I’m currently gobbling in and that’s adding on to my pot belly! My head has always been big and it has been crowded since ever.  I have an information leak leading into my stomach; me thinks! More importantly, I work under a very able person who is my TL and I take him as my mentor in this field as of now. The guy is a genius when it comes to systems design, integration and troubleshooting. This was thoroughly unexpected. I’m not impressed so soon with anybody but this guy is different. I work part time as his PA and I don’t feel weird about it at all because of all the data that I get from him otherwise. He has given me a lot of opportunities already and trusts me with our systems. So yes, professionally I’m content and happy. I am expanding my horizons and soon, I’ll learn it all. I’d probably never be a visionary like my TL is but I’d sure pick up a few things from him which will help me grow and evolve into something more than a Systems Engineer. I’d slowly want to move towards the architectural line. I’d try and get into Customization and implementation sometime soon and be parts of projects. Once I have a few successful projects in my kitty I could move towards being what I want to end up as – A technical architect. I’d be frank here; I do not want to be a people manager. It’s not my best forte. I have issues with telling people what to do and what not to do. It’s not about lack of leadership skills. It’s just that I prefer doing my own stuff rather than depending on people for my success. You know how it is? I’d like to be as technically involved with my work as possible. Easier said than done, resting and settling down after reaching a particular post isn’t what we humans are made for. So, I don’t quite know. Things might change as I grow older. At least I hope they do. Cause all of my folks want to be “Managers” one fine day! I guess that’s final destination for all of us, right? In one way or the other, we humans want to be someone else’s boss! That’s how we prove ourselves our own worth. Heh, the gods must have been crazy to make creatures of our kind!

On the personal front:
Now here’s the real turn of events. A few months ago, the only thing I was worried about is if I still have leftovers in my newly bought fridge. I’d then buy some bread and eat it on my arrival from work. This was my biggest worry mind you! And out of nowhere *POOF* magic! She walks in. A comment here and a comment there, a smile here and a giggle there, some chats and many words! She changed it all and whispered all my problems away. It’s difficult to explain what she means to me now because we’re just starting it off and things have just sped by!

So, I asked her if she’d marry me. She hesitated a bit before which she said that she was dying to *winks* Bah, girls and all their dramas! Things have moved smooth and quick thereafter since the both of us put it across to our folks at home and got it all fixed up. I met her last month and yes, I’m getting engaged day after tomorrow – the 20th of September. It all seems like an unreal dream right now and I’m sure that everyone wouldn’t understand how anxious I am but I’m even more sure that she’s the one and yes, she’s going to be the heroine of this story. Here’s thanking chapter 26 of my life for letting her in and here’s thanking the internet and all the other environmental variables for bringing her to me! Well that’s it from my side for now. I have a flight to board in approximately 8 hours. I’m flying to Cochin and back during the Ramadan period. I wouldn’t be using a single day of approved leaves because we have a company declared leave of absence for the next 5 days! Peace out.


Suspended animation – a state of bliss.

That playful ray of sunlight which escaped the window forced his eyes open as he lay there curled up behind her. He Rosedid not want to wake up but then the enchanting fragrance of fresh morning dew against the newly watered soil from yesterdays rain, her deep black hair that smelt like freshly bloomed lavender and her barenaked back which beckoned him to finger paint on it; seemed to lure him out of his bed and onto his feet.

He woke up, ever so gently; lest she be disturbed. It was a Sunday and he wanted her beautiful eyes to rest some more. He bent over and gazed at her lovingly. He felt like he had lived a life time in her closed eyelids, the tiny little curl of hair against her sufficiently large ears which he often made fun of and she breathing heavily against the pillow. He wanted so madly to hold on to those few seconds and just be there unto everness. He reached for her eyes and gave her a peck. She shifted a bit and he saw her smile. He stood at the window for a while breathing in all the fragrance he could soak up. He felt happy. It was a very long time since he felt the way he did then. Almost… content.

He flew her a kiss as he walked across the room and into the hall, switched on the music player and turned it on to some music. Ahhh! Coldplay, perfect. Music always made him happy. Tea was the next item on his small list and he decided to cook up that magical recipe. Three fourths boiled water, two tea bags, two table spoons of sugar and three table spoons of milk. All mixed in that order and a hint of all the love he had within him at that moment. She wasn’t a tea kinda person but then lately, she had taken to drinking tea. Mostly cause he made it that perfect and she could nearly taste him in it as she sipped slowly, carefully blowing into it.

She woke up in his shirt and to Lovers in Japan and silently walked into the kitchen drawn into him and ready to attach herself to this new found magnet of a guy! She hugged him from behind and whispered a love you as she laid a peck on his back. He poured the tea cups full with bubbled up tea. He needed the bubbles. Its like garnished food, you know? Tea is never complete without those bubbles he thought as he dragged her with him into the living room where she snuggled into him and continued with the trance like state she was in. He ran his hand in her hair lovingly and thought about his state of life. Suspended animation. He wrote down a few lines that came to his mind right then:

Love me; like you’ve never loved before.
Look into my eyes and set me free…
Be as mad as you can ever be,
In love with me from the sun to the sea.
Hold my hands and let me feel,
Your heart beat with me beneath.

Promise me that gorgeous smile,
With every passing mile,
Give me that healing touch,
And your reassuring voice just as much.
Let me lose myself in your voice,
Or give me a passionate hair smudge.

These lines are for you,
And whatever is in my heart,
Yes! That too.
All I have to offer is me and words,
Come be with me praandi;
We’ll worry about everything else afterwards!

Curtains fall!


P.S: Dedicated to she who has walked in with a voice I just cant get enough of and a heart made just for me.

Happy feet!

Ok, now stop wondering about how and why I’ve posted in so quickly. I know thats its within a very short time span and thats not how I’ve been off late. I usually post in light years and I come up with stuff no one wants to read. Come to think of it now, I think I’ve lost my reader base (pfft, if I had any that is!) but then, what the hell, I was genuinely into other stuff, alright? Give the poor guy some air, will you? Anyway, so why all of a sudden and why am I happy? Well, I’m going to India baby! I’m going to MY country and I cannot put into words how jubilant I am. I know that its not more than 3 months since I left the place but its summer here in Dubai and its raining there in India. So… you see why I’m elated, no?

Here’s the thing – I’m going on a short visit and its because something very important has come my way. I will explore the reasons with everyone later but for now, its time for me to leave. Ohh, and yes, this blog is bound to contain bits and pieces of me time and again. I’m sorry Accha. This place is special and I feel like talking. Sometimes you feel like talking to the crowd and you want for all of them to listen to you intently and give you the time you deserve. What better means than a blog? So, I am going to continue writing and I’m sorry but there is little I can do to stop myself from writing here. I’ve been trying hard over the past few months and you dont quite know how suffocated I feel at times. This is my place, you know? I dont quite care if people read and chuckle at my expense. I’m happy if they’re happy. I’m a compassionate human being. Anything for smiles. I’ll be gone from 5th to 9th. To my loved ones – Pray for me.

Finally, my dearest Praandi,

Thanks for the magic! I’m coming…


New to Dubai?


I’ve wanted to write about this since the time I’ve set foot here. Now its probably my ignorance or lack of googling skills but I’ve never been able to trace a real write up from a layman’s perspective on his experiences after landing in the middle east; Dubai to be more specific since I’m sure this city hosts countless expats and every one of those expats would have had their first days full of excitement, curiosity, confusion, anxiety and worry! I wonder why none of them ever wrote about their experiences since I’m sure that would have helped me in making this life and career altering decision. Hell, it’s not that I regret having coming here but like I said, it surely would have given me a clearer picture of life in the sands. So the mood right now – It’s an ultra romantic night, its 12:23 AM and its Friendships day here in Dubai too. Smikh, Happy Friendships day to you my dear dearest, Abhi, thanks for being there all through this time. Muiz, happy friendships day fatass, Chetan, miss you like hell bro, Ajay, happy friendships day dude and a happy friendships day to those numerous worshippers of friendship I’ve known, just like me. Please excuse the sudden change in the subject, I had to do that. Music – Zinda by strings and Prahlad’s whisperous snoring. It’s a beautiful night.

I’m not going to waste a lot of time apologizing for my lack of efforts in keeping this blog alive because I’ve done that time and again; apologized that is, promised to be more punctual with my posts but all I’ve done is dig deeper into my hole and stay there pondering upon the implications of the middle eastern life that I’m living right now. Though, I must confess that this is not what I want; a life full of nothings. I know, like I said before, I love the fact that I can come up with these juxtaposition of opposing ideas, perfect antithesis. Anyhoo, point being it’s true that I earn quite a lot of money (in comparison with what I used to earn in India) but there are countless things/people I’ve left behind and India in itself is like my mother calling. I miss the place more than I could have ever imagined. And sometimes, more than I miss my family and friends; I miss the trees, the smell of its air and the fragrance of my fellow Indians. I feel very strongly for my mother land and I wish to return as soon as possible. What I’m unsure is about when this would happen since my brain advices me to hang on. So, yes, hang on I will… till the time I can.
As usual, I’ve strayed away from the crux of today’s discussion – Dubai. So, new to Dubai? Contemplating and calculating the relocation? Have a job offer in hand? Want to try your hand at immigrating over to the land of man-made dreams? I’d like to present my findings thus far about this city, its money, the people, the food and everything else that you’ll may or may not want to know. I’d try to be as loud as I can with the information I have and questions are welcome. After careful consideration, I’ve decided to put this up on a FAQ kinda way. That’d give this write up a better flow and it’d be easier to find and understand. Here goes:

Q1) I have an offer in hand. Is it the right decision?
Answer: You have the offer in your hand. I guess your decision is made. In such kind of situations you already know what you want and the you’ve already thought of coming over, so don’t kill yourself with worry, just pack your bags and come over.

Q2) What about the city? Is it a safe place to live with or without my family?
Answer: No place in this world is safe and I’m sure you know how cruel this world is. So, no, it’s not a safe place for stupid people. Use your brain and I can assure you that no one would even notice your existence unless, of course, you’re the kind of person who likes to be noticed and someone who’d want to be the center of attention. Well, then in that case, yes you might attract trouble and that’s just about how it’d be back in India or anywhere in the world. Success always attracts troubles and danger. But otherwise, if you’re a 9 to 5 kind of a person then this is one of the safest cities you could live in. Mostly because, like I said, no one gives a fuck about who you are! Come over, make your dough and move on.

Q3) How much money do I need in order to lead a peaceful life in Dubai?
Answer: I searched a lot for this question before I came over and I encountered a lot of strange answers. Nothing helped me and that’s the reason I’m putting this in, especially for all those youngsters taking huge steps like moving in from India to Dubai. Here, I’d like to talk about the typical middle class public coming in from India. Assume you were earning 7 lakhs per annum in India. That’s approximately 45,000 Rs after tax. Now that’s a typical middle class person right there for you. You’d pay rent, food, loans and after other general expenditure you might save some money, hoping that you’re not a shopaholic like me. What does a typical middle class person (guy/girl) need to survive in Dubai? Well, approximately around 3,500 dirhams. YES!!! You got that right, that’s all you need in order to live, eat, sleep, internet, electricity, water and travel. The bare minimum will be covered in that amount. And no, I’m not even talking about a stringent set of stone written rules here. Common sense would help you. Before all that 1 Dirham = somewhere between 12.80 (lowest I’ve seen) to 13.80 (Highest I’ve seen) Indian Rupees. I’d like to give a clear idea about the kind of money I spend here. I need 1,500 for my rent. I live with a friend of mine from work and we’ve rented out a mid-sized room with a cupboard and we threw in a couple of beds and all our stuff. That’s just about it, the rooms ready. Got internet fixed up and that’s all we needed. Considering that I have lavish food, I need around 1,200 dhs. Details – One 500ml bottle of Lemonade costs 1.5 dh, 1 Egg Club Sandwich costs 3.5 dh, 1 full thali (3 rotis, 1 dal, 2 sabji, dahi, rice, 1 sweet) costs 10.50 dhs, Egg Biryani costs 16 dhs and yes, chicken Biryani costs around 18. The last two are from pretty good restaurants. So, yes, you can choose to stick to cheaper food that’s up to you. I have nothing but respect for people who live like beggars here because most of us come here to transfer money home! Point being, let’s say you were earning 45,000 in India your pay here should be approximately 10,000 dh (at the least) and if you manage to trash out your month in even 4,000 dhs, you still save around 6000 dhs which is a lot of saving as far as I’m concerned. I can assure you that the cost of living has gone down considerably right now, as on this date. This is mostly because of the real estate problem which is prevelant around here. Prices have been slashed to less than half and we still dont have takers. The money bit, if you get a job here and if they pay you anywhere in the range of 10,000+ dhs, take it. Dont think too much. We’d worry of going back later. Get in touch with me for more on this.

Q4) What about life in “General”
Answer: Uhm, I guess when it comes to life in Dubai then yes, apart from the fact that it speeds by its a place full of worry if you don’t quite have the right job. People get fired here all the time. That’s mostly because of the prevalent and omnipresent contractual agreements that most companies seem to utilize for optimum financial gain. Simply put, there is a heavy possibility of you finding yourself in a consulting firm and thereby being deputed to a client’s location. Once you reach there you’d realize that you’re not governed by your parent company’s HR or the HR of the client you work. Basically, you have no fucking rights! You’re meant to be utilized and thrown one fine day if your NT account expires. Your identity card would be disabled and you’d find your client manager waving from inside the glass door. Hmmm, apart from this life here is hunky dory, full of fun; they say (since I’m not a clubber or party goer) and yes, I repeat; days seem to get over much faster than what they did in India. So, life in general is awesome if you get into a good Dubai based company. Consulting companies will suck the life out of you (worry and tension) and there’d be nothing you can do once you land here.

Q5) How do I make sure that I have the right job?
Answer: This is a very difficult question to answer since this is a very uncertain place where a lot of IT/Software consulting companies keep mushrooming year after year. They fail miserably and take a lot of good people down with them. Those employees then need to go through the phase of not having a job, missing out on their salary for a few months and you know the rest of the troubles that you could associate with a situation like this. The deal here is, make sure you’ve done your bit of research on the company that hires you. Make sure that it has a proper existence here in Dubai because we do have a lot of people being duped. I would recommend companies which are rooted in India and have their operations here in Dubai. That way you could go and visit them and verify if they have space enough to occupy you on your return after being fired. Well, you could sit there and crib till they clear your remaining salary and relieve you, just my opinion. This is very important. Do not jump into conclusions when you make this decision. Make sure that all information about your deputation, contract and client information is shared before you fly. You really don’t want to get into Middle Eastern shit! It’s gross. Ohh and hell yeah, they will show you money – do NOT fall! Take my advice.

Q6) I have a family – give it to me, yes OR no.
Answer: Are you in debt? No. Do you have an ongoing emotional driving force which is making you leave? No. Have you gotten into shit in India and thereby you wish to run away? No. These are just a few of the questions that come to my mind. You know where I’m coming from, right? Just think about what you need and have a clear picture of when you wish to return before coming over. Family, well, unless you have a secure job do not bring them over because if you don’t have a secure job the bare minimum of what you could do is save up on money and fuel your account back in India for whatever time you have the job. If it’s a wife and no kids then yes, by all means, get her over and she could look for a job too. Women getting their men folk; well, from what I’ve heard thus far the ‘Dependency’ visa process for women bringing their husbands is different. Husbands are not supposed to be dependants or so they say. I hate the prejudiced society that I live in! Why freakin’ not? And why is it different? Whatever, I’ve got too many ways in the labyrinth to figure out right now. The war of the sexes is nowhere in my system right now.

Q7) Finally, how about food, living, travelling and other environmental variables?
Answer: Food here is fantastic! I can vouch for the food. Veggies and the carnivores both wouldn’t have problems and I can assure you that you’d only get fatter. Sigh, I hate this. One small bar of chocolate does it for me. Here is where I envy people like my roomie, Prahlad. He can eat without stopping for 2 days and probably die of over-eating but fat is one physical condition which he wouldn’t experience. Housing; I’d recommend localities like Bur Dubai and Karama for new people because of the number of stores, malls and food joints these places have. It’d be easier to get fatter and lazier if you’re around here. It’s like the Koramangala of Bangalore, everyone is here. It’s an expats ruled locality. The chinks mostly and tons and tons of mallu’s with their amazing English! That being said, travelling is an expensive affair in Dubai and yes, be prepared to cough up a healthy amount if you’re those people who like to travel and explore the country they’re in. Initially, I’d recommend you save up! Exploring will come later when you’ve saved enough. Saving is the name of the game for an Indian in this country. I know I sound like a miserly person right now but you’d see what I feel once you’re here. When you know that the 1 dirham coin in your hand is worth 13.50 Indian rupees, ahhh… you feel humbled! SAVE!!! Every penny you can. The internet is relatively cheap. I pay around 250 dhs for an Etiselat broadband connection – 1 MBPS connection. Laundry is an expensive deal too and you’d spend around 150 dhs per month on an average. This might reduce if you decide to wash the clothes you wear at home by yourself. I give them all, too much for me to handle.

There’s tons more I could write about this city and its life but then its that time of the day and I’m tired. Please be warned that there might be tons of spelling booboo’s and gramatical errors in the above write up. I tend to read my posts a few times after its published. I will catch up on all the errors and I will rectify them. Please don’t send in hate mails about what I write, how I write and why I write. Go away if you don’t want to read. It’s a humble request. Also, for all those people who’d want to judge my essaying skills… read GFHL. I do not write to entertain anyone. Advices will be heard, laughed at and mulled over. So, don’t chastise me. I cannot do anything better. This is me at my best. For more serious readers who have reached up to here, thanks for being patient.


Special friends

This post is dedicated to all those guys who are “special friends” with one girl or more. Here is me, Anup, sympathetically empathizing with your piteous state of mind and thereby offering you’ll my sincerest condolences. I know how you feel and I wish to speak for our kind today. Our kind, the male race that is. Stupid that we are! What I’ve noticed over due course of observation and scientific research conducted on myself again through careful observation and timely misjudgments is that I cannot find that muse which blessed me with the so said luck of being a man. its difficult being a girl/women, they’d tell you. I’d want to know why. I really do! Agreed that you’re the mother but please! spare yourself that embarrassment. We already know that. I’d want to discuss on the following (considering that most part of my readers would be either Indians or random stray spam but even that, I’d expect for them to be from India)

– Don’t you’ll have the option to say no? To each and everything that comes your way these days?
– Don’t you get reduced IT bills?
– Don’t you have reservations everywhere you’ll go? The freakin’ bus even!
– More recently, reservations for you’ll in the government. What in the name of god?

Most importantly, and todays prime point – Don’t you decide the fate of friendship? Yes, thats right; with a guy. I don’t quite care about your girl friends but the guys, how is it that you always have the glorious power and unarguable ability to move from acquaintance to friend to something more and then suddenly to “special friend” out of nowhere? Alright, now, I’d want to explain of what I’ve drawn thus far from the title of a “special friend” To begin with, I’d like to define it like Wren and Martin would. Special friend – being verb; a guy, point to note, special friends are useable in any form or kind until they deteriorate into nothing but a moulded form of flubber which can thereby be thrown around to please one’s heart or cause an effect on the walls; uhm, just for fun.

I’d want to try and understand something and thats precisely why I’m going to put this up for public ridicule and contempt. This is something I’ve learnt over a period of careful observation and I might be wrong or in fact, I am wrong but then, here is what I’ve noticed. Its practically impossible for that guy and this girl to be “just friends” or “special friends” this is just two hypocrites trying to hide the obvious. Deal with it! Like they said in one of those old hindi movies… yeah, that same old line. Please! For the love of god, there is no special friendship. You’re either friends with me, where the both of us are under the mercy of natural selection to be mates or else, just go our own ways, kapiche? Its seriously silly to do the we-are-close-friends-and-nothing-more thing. Sup with that? Question to you girls – help me understand; when you know that this guy ain’t for you; Why would you? a) Fall all over him and give him the jiggle? b) Not miss an opportunity to show him that you care? c) Add those killing sweet words here there in your messages – the love you’s and the miss you’s and ohh on some occasions *kisses and sweets* hell yeah! I’ve seen even that. d) Let him reach the point where he finally gives in and says the final line that makes him the worst kinda person you ever met, “I think I am falling…”

Uhh? What? (thats the expression) “How could you even think of this? Don’t you know we’re special friends?” or maybe “I never thought of you that way…” this is golden and ohh the, “You’re a nice guy, but… family!?” Seriously! Help me understand, as if you did not know that all this was coming? Isn’t this all just a silly game? A thrill? A power ride? I don’t quite understand the sadistic pleasure you get out of doing this to a guy. Now, I totally understand that there are guys out there with the charm and grace required to catch you off guard and put you through misery but I’m not one of those and I’m not talking in reference to those guys. I’m talking in reference with us commoners. The one’s who might have a little paunch, the nerdy-geeky ones, the stupid ones and the ones you know will easily fall for all your antiques! Common, you know those paavams* hanging around hoping for you to look at them. Spare them the pain, will you?

Alright, I think I’m going to wrap this up. I’ve got a couple of special friends who’d probably kick my ass for this! Peace out suckers and yes, remember, there is no such thing; its all a mirage. They are not for real. Look clear and keep your ears open. I don’t ask for anyone to be cynical assholes but I guess, we should learn from our mistakes thus far. Draw a line somewhere; be it in friendship or anything else. Value yourself. Its alright to give in if she’s the worth the pain else, RUN! Don’t stand there and stare at her like a zombie. Dont let that scary meduse turn you into stone. Use your brain and read all the signs. Use your brains and all those hidden senses. Finally, if you fail, don’t worry – you’d find yourself writing a post like this somewhere down the years. I understand, we have an incorrigible heart and mind. I hate it when they win; always, time and again. Hail womaniacs!


P.S: I know the part where I spoke about less IT and reservation in the government is out of place, but uhm, I just wanted to put it in there. Its sad! I dont understand WHY! And yes, I’ll be around more often!

Happy birthday Abhi!


I’ve been in a rut for over a month now and I guess I’m experiencing my first ‘Writers Block’ It’s a rut of remaining tucked in. Cuddled up within my warm fuzzy comforter. Ohh yeah, you heard that right. A comforter in Dubai? When it’s burning down on the sands? The carrier AC in my room is broke and it functions at 16 degree celcius. So, yes, its freezing. But thats alright as far as I’m concerned because I can withstand the cold but never the heat. The early morning heat ruins my want for more sleep, the afternoon heat eats up on my apetite (I dig the pun here) and the evening heat kills my want to wander out and ogle at the triple calved escorts roaming the streets of Bur Dubai. I tell you, French women are something else! JHC, what thighs! Tiny trouser kinda thingies, heels that’d make them taller than Prahlad who is six feet two and diamond cut stockings which could make me wanna throw up. Now I’m sure that’s a sight you’d never want to miss cause precisely; at that very second, when you ponder at reasons for them appearing the way they do… you’d find this amazing BMW 7200 slowly pull up to one of them and they’d slid right in. wOOt ehh? Point being, I’m a home-office-bathroom-commode-office-repeat kinda guy right now and I’m blissfully happy.

Coming to why I actually decided to blog; considering my enormous bout of lethargy and its visible side effects, its Mr. Shedge’s birthday! Ohh yes, Abhijit Shedge has turned uhm, XX years old. He’s lived another glorious year still reigning the world and still the creator of the Matrix. The Matrix that we live in. Yes, you got that right. He is that man who knows everything. He knows why you smile, he knows whats going on in your head and he even knows what you’d do tomorrow at 11:00 AM and if he doesn’t, all he needs to do is to look up his chat logs. Abhi’s chat logs are magical, you know? These logs seem to know things he knows plus more. Simply put, he’s amazing. And I’m not even kidding or being sarcastic, if thats what you’ll think this is. This is a clear word picture of one of the most valuable people in my life.

I’m too far away to give him a hug, a gift and loads to laugh about but I thought I’d take up this opportunity to do something I can do – Give him a few days of fame on this blog (yeah, you got that right!) and secondly thank him. Somehow, when it comes to Abhi, however much I say, thank you’s just dont seem to suffice. He’s the kind of guy who’d stick by when you’ve been nothing but an asshole. The kinda guy you’d find at your doorstep… BEFORE YOU CALL FOR HIM! Most importantly, he’s the kind of guy who’d never miss a phone call. That’s life saving, you know? To have people like him in your life is nothing short of a miraculous gift from god. Most people go all their lives without friends like him and I’m happy that he’s been around, from the times when we were nothings. But we were together at it. I’m proud of having outgrown my self-proclaimed poverty of money, sense and maturity along with him. He’s still immature though and his PJ’s are out of this world. Those are jokes that can be digested only by the tall man – Chetan Parik. What strikes me the most is his sense and understanding which suddenly seems to pop out of nowhere when it comes to things outside his circle of comfort. He’ll quickly turn into this calm, well spoken, knowledgeable guy who can connect with everyone around him without an effort! Where we may take months and years to make friends, he takes days. And I can go on about Abhi but then I guess I’d end this cause I just don’t want any spoil sights looking at him.

Abhi, if not 100, may you live a million years more in complete harmony with all your loved ones around and I’m dying to return into that protective circle. I cannot explain how insecure I feel when I’m not around my people; especially you, Muiz and Smikh. This is the best I can do for now – a treat to your eyes. Here’s about you and only you on my blog. Wish you many happy returns of the day. Happy budday to you, hatthi padla pu pu! Thanks for being there brother… from another mother. I’ve always wanted to use that idiom. Neat ehhh?



DubaiYou know what’s good about working on a Sunday? Nothing. I’m at work today and it makes me sad when I notice that its Sunday. I’m habituated to a non-working Sunday. Like I’ve mentioned before; I love the Rajni song – “Aaj Sunday hai… aaj Sunday hai… <pause> to din mein daaru peene ka day hai…” I mean, it’s not like I get drunk. Huh, barely even. I’m tired of the high I get out of canned Mango juice which is so sweet that it gives you a sugary high. I’ve added “Joos” by “Insert undecipherable Arabic here” company (which makes the most amazing canned Mango syrup I have ever tasted) into my daily diet. Sorry for complicating that statement but I had to put it across like this for optimum delivery of my current experience.

I apologize for the lack of new words here. I’ll justify my absence on the basis of my new found luck in Dubai. As I mentioned, in my previous post; here I am in Dubai working for one of the two telecom giants in this part of the world. I do not wish to correct my previous post and therefore, I’d like to use this space to thank Muiz for enlightening me to the fact that Dubai is not a country. So here I am in Dubai city and in the UAE. So why haven’t I been posting here? Considering that these are the most jubilant days of my life… allegedly. I’m used to babbling to the many ghosts who visit this blog. They are all just a figment of my imagination. But then, I don’t know how I feel right now. I’m supposed to be happy and elated but all I feel is a mixture of happy-sad moments where I crave to be back in my flat in Bangalore, my home and the comfort of my soft quill and the not so soft bed. I sometimes crave for my car and for the tea that my regular chay-wala made for me. Most annoyingly, I miss my family. I never missed them all this much when I was in Bangalore and I wonder why it is that I miss them all the more now. On that note, gather around. Pep talk – It costs me less than 1000 dhs for flight tickets to India and back. How neat is that? Alright, so I’ll keep the bullshit aside for now and come to the point. Why didn’t I write?

  • No original content.
  • Lethargy.
  • I was genuinely busy upto the 10th of this month.
  • I’m bored of myself and almost everyone else.
  • I suck.
  • Youtube wouldn’t work on my laptop ;(
  • Get lost now! Sup with you jobless people reading this crap?

For now and for this specific post; I’m not going to get into details. I will, however, provide minutes for the events that transpired over the last month. Whatever happened; happened after the 14th of April. A very auspicious day for us mallu’s!  It was Vishu and I was resting after a heavy meal. Point to note that I had attended quick interview rounds from XYZ Company 2 days before but I wasn’t expecting much because I always thought that good things never happened to me.

  • Call from the HR of XYZ Company with the offer letter.
  • Job location mentioned – Dubai, UAE.
  • Compensation – out of this world when compared with what I get now.
  • Joining date – ASAP; approximate date 5th of May.
  • Return to Bangalore.
  • Resignation at HP and ongoing problems with shortfall in notice period.
  • No hope and no use in trying to convince a manager who is bound by “policies” <yes sarcasm>
  • Accepted the offer and promised to join on the 5th.
  • Packed up my stuff and sent it to my new house in Kerala.
  • Said good bye to almost all the important people in Bangalore.
  • Drove down to Kerala, solo. It was one hellova ride.
  • Attended a huge family get together for the Pooja of my new house there.
  • Around 30 people turned up for the Pooja and over 120 people turned up for the lunch thereafter. Notice the discrepancy?
  • Spent some quality time with my family as the heat and humidity teamed up in a combined effort to torture us.
  • Finally went to Aathirapilly waterfalls and it was breathtaking.
  • Throughout this while, it was amazing that I couldn’t quite establish a decent dialogue with dad. I hate myself for that.
  • The ticket and Visa arrived on the 1st after a lot of anxious waiting.
  • Packing up thereafter did not take more than a couple of hours.
  • Bid farewell to my folks and luckily, this time, mom did not cry. She was calm and composed. This worried me because she is someone who cries each time I say good bye. I guess we did not have much time at the airport. Probably that’s why.
  • The airport roughed me up with a bill for 4500 /- Rs after having removed most of my books, shoes and blankets and the bag containing it. Extra luggage. Did you know that the maximum weight allowed in case of International flights is 20 kgs? YES!! That’s exactly what is charged in our national flights. Fly Emirates sucked like that. But then, I enjoyed the fact that they had a tv built in to the back of their seats which facilitated an easy passage of time. Plus, complimentary breakfast of “Kadala curry and Upma” damn that combination!
  • I could smell the barren land as I stepped out of the flight and felt the heat, the real heat for the first time!
  • Suddenly Kerala seemed like Mt. Abu to me.
  • I rushed into the waiting A/C buses and I’ve been indoors ever since.
  • I am currently living at the company guest house which is a 3BHK flat at a plush location in Dubai. Burjman, Bur Dubai to be exact.
  • I cannot afford to like this place cause uhm, well… I cannot afford the kinda rent they demand in this part of town.
  • I’d need to find a place by the end of this month and I’m clueless right now.
  • The transportation system out here is good in spite of all the traffic jams. Its luxurious and seems inexpensive when compared to what’s being given.
  • We have nothing less than Toyota Camry’s running as taxi’s. I’ve always wanted to ride in one of those and well, that’s that.
  • Current debacle and ongoing debate with myself and Mr. Prahlad Singh, my only respite amongst all the new people around me.
  • He’s a new person too, but then; clicks with some people instantly, doesn’t it?
  • We’ve decided to look for a house together and I’m crawling my way towards settling down.
  • I’ve begun exploring Dubai. From within the walls and cool rooms mind you! This is the time when the Middle East lights up its pyre.
  • I managed to be inside the worlds largest mall and I did see the worlds only (self acclaimed) 7 start hotel and yes, the worlds largest building, the Burj Dubai. I went nuts as I witnessed these awesome structures and I’m at awe for the wonders man can build.
  • Over and above all this, work, which is the reason I came here has been good and very enriching thus far.
  • I hope to get my hands dirty with technologies like Clustering/ISA/SMS/MOM/ILM2 and HMC.
  • People who do not understand technology might want to ignore that. But for those who do know – you’ll know thats a handful!

That’s just about it for now. There is more to discuss but I guess I’ll keep that for later. I’m sure that things will go back to where it was. I will write more regularly and yes; I do hope to travel. Finally, it’s too early for this but I do miss my land and its killing me that I’ll miss out on the wet smell of fresh mud. I will miss the yearly rains and I’d sweat it out here in the Middle East where summer has just begun. To all my people – I miss you’ll!

Musebox 26

As another chapter in my life comes to an end; well, not actually to an end but its a fresh new start to an already ongoing chapter which was full of a stagnant, smelly, pathetic excuse of an essential experience called love or so it seemed like a mirage on a hot summer day in deep deserts. What I’m talking about is the fact that I’m shifting base. Since I said I would talk about it before I leave. Here’s an official announcement – from the looks of it, I’d be travelling to this hot, mid eastern country called Dubai and I’m hoping to have a fresh new shot at life devoid of the ghosts of my past that seem to haunt me mercilessly. I’d be working as a Microsoft consultant for XYZ Ltd. and I’m praying for all this to NOT be a dream, if you know what I mean? Dates would remain unannounced for now but yes, I’d be moving out very soon and I’m excited.

I think I need to excogitate a sane way to make more friends and be more socially interactive. On a more seriously plausible note, I’d like to be more approachable and calm. Its a new place and its a golden opportunity to restart, a place where no one knows me and I know no one. Its going to be fun! This thought came to me as I mulled over a lazy afternoon full of activities that I was trying to avoid. For example, the moving guys came today and took away all of my beloved household items. This left my flat in a state of disarray. I was supposed to go sort things out and pack up the remaining bits and pieces but then I did not. I just stayed at home (at Radha aunty’s) and brooded on endlessly. Sometimes I hate my incorrigible mind. I try hard to control the rampant self-loathing bozo that I am but I have failed miserably and thats pushed me more and more into the corner. I wonder why I chagrin myself like this? Guess it’d be easier to just dig a hole and take cover. Wish I were a coward. Anyway, where is this pointless ramble going?

Musebox 26 is to discuss my achievements and losses over the last 1 and a half years; considering all of that to be part of the same legendary story that I have lived thus far, post Convergys. I thought I’d talk about my gains and my losses and the list is long. Therefore, I’ve come up with just one section of the entire agenda, which in itself is a mammoth task. I thought I’d discuss people. Yes, I am a feeble mind. Who gives a fuck about what you think anyway? I’ve always wanted to discuss the people in my life but I thought I’d let it wait and simmer. I will probably re-model it into the People section one fine day but for today I wish to talk about a few very influential people who have been substantially involved through most part of my previous chapter. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of them for their consistent efforts in bringing my life to the perfect harmony of untamed thoughts that it is, as of today. The big deal is, I’ve escaped the tornado with just a few bruises and cuts and its because of these people.

So the perennial glass half empty kinda guy that I am, let me talk about losses first. I’d like to dedicate the losses section to just two people. M & S. Now its unfortunate that I cannot name people in here but then, I’m sure they’d know if they ever come by. I consider the both of you’ll to be one of the biggest loss’ I have ever experienced. Its been painful, full of remorse and traumatic. I could have never fathomed the possibility of you’ll not being in my life but then it is unfortunate that things ended the way they did and there is nothing in this world that cannot be forgiven. I’d like to make it very clear that I have absolutely no ill-feelings for the both of you’ll and that I wish you all sorts of success in your future together. My belief of people belonging together has been strengthened by whatever has happened over the past year and a half, especially the part involving the three of us. I understand that some things are just meant to be and there is no denying a loss in love. I accept your loss and I wish from the pit of my heart that I be able to move on. The way you’ll have, so easily and without discomfort. I’m in awe of your strong hearts and I sincerely hate those very few seconds where I wished I were like you’ll.

One a more positive note, I have achieved a lot over the last year and a half (now I know that I’ve repeated this a couple of times, but then, what else do I do? I need to emphasize my point here, kapiche?) I’d like to thank the following people in no specific order for the kindness and closeness they have shown and I’m thankful to the power who let me at you’ll. In no specific order:

Sneha: I know that family wasn’t to be involved but then, I hope you know that you are a friend to me just as well. Thanks for being a pillar and thanks for being there through another chapter in my life. I cannot thank you enough. You are one of the most reliable and consistent friends I have ever had and I could not have asked for a better sister. I repeat, thanks a lot.

Abhijit: Abhi, I’m sure you’d love this part; the limelight hogger that you are! I’ve always wanted to do this and I promise to get this done better sometime later next month. But for now, I’d like to say that you’ve been this endearing cushion of friendship, strength, patience and everything else that makes a perfect friend. I’m sure you are a friend to many but I’m glad that I find a spot in your list of wannabe Abhijit Shedge friends! I couldn’t have reached this far sanely without your help and phone calls which have been so consistent that sometimes I thought you were a robot full of love. A sincere suggestion for you though – stop being so fucking nice. Get a fucking life. *winks*

Muiz and Shaista: For the silent presence.

Sanket: For all your ignorance.

Nikhil, Chetan and Ratheesh: I’m sorry for clubbing you guys in together, but then all of you’ll have been of prime importance in the very same role and thats all that I’d be glorifying in this session of continuous nonsense. You’ll have been all ears to my story and listened when you did not need to. You’ve acted as shock absorbers and I couldn’t have survived those humps without you’ll. Chetan and Nikhil thanks for all the laughs and giggles.

Ajay: Thanks for making me sound ohh-so-awesome! Heh, as we discussed yesterday – your presence is irreplaceable. Shine on.

Ruch: You reappeared after a long gap of over 6 years but trust me, within 6 months, I’m sure we have covered up for all that lost time and space. I love every second that I talk to you and I love the crap we talk. You make me smile without any efforts and I dont need to think twice before talking to you. Thanks for all the ‘pings’ and thanks for not waiting to be ‘pinged’  ^5 and you rock… like a crazy mad girl should!

Smikh: There is little that I can say or talk about you cause you know, its difficult to share you *winks* but then, here’s a little piece of you that is for keeps and I feel humbled that I have you as my friend. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that you have been amongst my best friends cause I do not understand that concept. But then, I’d like to point out that you’re not one of my ‘special friends’ either. You are more than a friend and that will always remain that way.

Well, thats it with this horrendously long entry. Friendships divine. I sincerely hope things work out for me and I’m hopeful that all this wouldn’t burst open like a soap bubble. I’d like to conclude with the following line from “Smells like teen spirit – Nirvana”. This is for our small little gang from Convergys. This is especially for Abhi, M&S, Sanket and Muiz:

Our little group has always been…
And always will, until the end.



The other day I decided to take a walk. A walk of shame down the rickety rather boulder studded gully next to Radha aunty’s house. I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I’ve managed to earn both money and respect amongst the people who crowd my life. Now I understand that it is because of the enormous luck that I have had aiding me and of course mom’s constant prayers to the boss above. Well, I consider all of them to be equally powerful – luck, mom and god that is. I’ve managed to absorb a lot of data when I was with Convergys and I did consider myself to be technically sound or uhm, technically competent if  you may, for modesty reasons. One of the prime reasons I was successful was because of the want to prove myself to my family, the society and her. For which, I studied, I followed up and I discussed technically challenging conundrums with my peers and was someone who was quickly motivated by challenges. I’d get to the task of eating up on problems and boiling down to conclusions and answers in no time. I was fairly confident of resolving any and every issue that came my way by means of communicating with my colleagues, my seniors and then google. The walk of shame came when I started feeling technically handicapped of late and I feel sorry for myself since I am someone who could have easily accumulated more information than all these liabilities and loan I have pressing down on my like a ceaseless guilt which would hamper your growth and insight.

Anyway, the walk of shame came to and end all of a sudden and to my utter surprise I see her! It was like a strong flicker of sunlight on a day covered by a bicentennial celebration of darkness. It was like a whiff of cold wind on a sultry thursday afternoon full of deadlines that devour your very want to live. It was like a… uhm… no more cause I’d taint that moment. All I’d say that it was magical. Like a drizzle when I wish for it. Sorry, couldn’t stop myself there. I love drizzles, did I ever mention that? I’m madly in love with the rains and I wait for the rainy season ever year and then wish for it to be gone when it turns into a menace. Especially cause I’m more of an indoorsy person and because I’d let a good book take me off to a fantasy land rather than be driven by a senseless rage and urge to spend more. Which is also something I used to do when I thought I was in love. Going back…

Her! I had just cut into this smaller lane out of the badly feet-raped little track which led out of Radha aunty’s place. I guess thats where she lived. She stepped out of her house squealing and giggling. She stood at the door for a while with one feet still inside the house and the other feat rearing her to run out and scream some more. She looked into my eyes and flashed a million watt smile. It was the brightest one I had ever seen and I stood there adoring her innocent face. A breeze caught her attention as it played with a tiny plait of her hair and she stared in the direction of the wind as if requesting it to stop tickling her. Her eyes shined brightly as she gave me a mischievous grin. I smiled at her and stood there, just to see what she’d do next. She sent out a shrill cry cause she couldn’t cross the threshold of her house since there was this high plank which did not allow her to cross over. Here is where I noticed a firm hand grasp her by both her armpits and softly drop her outside and into the verandah. Mom had done what she was supposed to and the little princess in her tattered but clean pink dress went on a dance run, squealing and running with sense of freedom which made me envious of her. She looked beautiful. She was worryless, unperturbed and did not care about who I was. She ran over and stared up at me. I bent down and set her hair right. I noticed her mom observing me and I smiled at her. She had seen me before I think and didn’t say much. I stood there and watched her play. The little bundle of joy. I’d wish to see her everyday but unfortunately for all of us, we grow and so do all our worries.

Its a life altering process; change that is. You wish for change but you are not prepared for it. Aging is a change. Its an unstopable, irreversible, most unavoidable change of them all and I’ve been trying to come to terms with the changes my life has seen over the past year and a half. Here’s another change or a new opportunity if you may which has come my way and I’ve decided to grab it, arms wide open. I’m not sure if I’m right or wrong and I’m freaking out right now but then, there is little I can do. I’ve always been someone who has looked forward for changes and challenges. I’ve been raring to get into some work which appeals to the more intelligent side of my brain and I seem to have a break at something which seems to be awesome! News, from the looks of it and from what I have in hand right now, I’ll be moving out of where I am into a new world very soon. I’d talk about where, when, why and all of that part later. For now, all I need to find out is about how my life would change from the 4th of May. Its been a very difficult decision and I’m looking forward to what has come my way. Will get back with details later. I might be missing for a bit but I’ll get back as soon as I can.