Bi-yearly catch up!

What is up you guys? This is me, myself and I welcoming you to a brand new year. I know that I’ve been gone for a while now and this place is so dead right now. I come here ever so often hoping to get motivated by words that seemed to come to me so easily but this just doesn’t seem to be working for me and writing/blogging rather seems to be a thing of the past. No one blogs anymore says Shruti. Who even blogs? Type up text you mean? Seriously? Who has the time to read through walls of text? My manager calls me up each time he reads my emails and asks me to give him a two line summary in order to even “consider” my concern. That is how much people hate text. We have been taken by the vlog storm and youtube is the way to go. I have a youtube channel and all the jazzy social media crap but it can never do to me what walls of text does. I know that most of the people who used to come here would probably never come around hoping to see new stuff because 6 months is too long a time and in any case – I literally blog bi-yearly, so its no biggie!

There is a lot to catch up on and I am sure that I can come up with pages and pages of data and still not be done with it. However, the wife has dozed off already and I am so darn sleepy! This is just a post to try and follow what she told me – write a line or two a day and see where it takes you. So here I am; making an effort to write not for anyone else but just to get me closer to what I used to love doing and a certain part of me who still thinks that the thing I am best at is words, text, expressions and walls of text. In my case, love those walls as I always seem to get through them quite easily.

Here’s wishing anyone who graces by a happy and prosperous year 2013 and I hope for the best to come to you and your family. I seem to be doing well where I am. I am getting plumper by the day and I am worried about my health. I should be able to catch up over time but I really need to give it my full sooner than later. Shruti is bored but is doing extremely well and she is the strongest ray of hope in my life. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t fight with her. Sometimes, I just annoy her to see her get mad at me, its funny I tell you but that’s what I love about us we fight without too many egos!

A lot more to tell you’ll but I’ll leave that for future. For now, I hope to just about hit the final period here and go to bed. This won’t get published until I do that cause its almost 3:00 AM here and I had a tough day at work. I’m almost sleeping on my keyboard.

Cheers you guys! I missed you’ll.


Dubai – Hyderabad – Dubai

I think I have thrown in a little something about my stay in Hyderabad in one of my previous posts and like I said then, that deserved a write up in itself about how; for loves sake did I reach Hyderabad of all places?! Well, I don’t have a clue to date because leaving Dubai was never meant to be. These are not my words but my sisters curse. Sneha kept telling me that I was going to get back to Dubai sooner than I thought and I always laughed off her childish thoughts about how she and I are meant to be close by or so says the lame ass palmist from Kerala, some shit. I know, I know; thanks a lot for all  your good luck Shruti! You’re the reason I’m here *winks*

So, news from this part of town is about me getting my ass back here. I was away for around 10 months I think and I got called back by the desert that reaps money. I can vouch for that one – the money part that is. Tax-free money is something that every Indian wants to brag about but here is where I really feel the pinch missing, you know? The pinch that pains bad – TAXES! Yikes, I get the shizzles by its mere thought. A little birdie told me that my manager thought that I was worth the trouble and did his best to get me hired on a full time basis. No more contracts babey!! Now that is something to be real proud of; having a full time job in a semi government organization in Dubai. Its w00t.

Can’t stop thinking of the time between the end of 2010 up to around first quarter of 2011 when everything in my life was unstable as hell. I was on a contractual job if I haven’t mentioned before. Not the kind of a contract where you know when you’ll be without a job. This is the kind of contract that keeps you hanging – you never know! I never knew when the contract would end and when I’d be body shopped out of my organization onto the contractors bench and thereby fired duly over a period of time and over months of unrest which would have surely originated from my side. The restless person that I am – I won’t let you live till you give me an answer and once you give me a negative one I’ll haunt you every now and then. Lol, no. Seriously, I’m a stupid fool who’d accept anything with that dumb look on your face, you know? The one that says, “Hey! I deserve this, but its fine if you don’t give it to me” Fucktard.

Finally, somewhere around March 2011 they decided to let us go and in stepped TCS who offered to take me into its ample bosom and feed me with all the laziness it had to offer. I can swear that it is the organization for anyone who wants to lead a live-eat-die life. Its that awesome. You get in and you retire in lets say 30 years sometimes without knowing about what the fuck just happened. You absolutely don’t need to know anything about anything and you don’t need to give a rats ass in order to survive there. I don’t say it just for the heck of it – its heavenly safe once you get in and if you are really someone who has decided to stay there is nothing that will stop you from growing. Highly recommended for the content masses, you know? So, I worked from TCS, Hyderabad for around 10 months for the very same project in pretty much the same role but with a better designation. I really don’t know where those days went and I really don’t want to talk about the filth that I got myself into as far as living in Hyderabad is concerned.

As far as Hyderabad is concerned – it’s a good city so to say in regards with the crowds on the road, the mobs who want to know what’s happening with you and of course the policemen who want to loot you for everything they see but what went wrong with me was the place or the area that I chose to stay. I knew nothing and I made a big big mistake. I took up a house in a place called Miyapur which I learnt later was the scum of the city. It sucked so bad that we literally had to keep the glasses of our car up as we drove by into our apartment. Why? The entire road that lead to our apartment turned into a big open sewage transit passageway within 3 months of us moving in. Now that’s the kind of shit that you need when you’re really talking about shit! Blah, it was disgusting. I was scared of contracting a bad disease over the time but luckily I survived and my ex-current boss decided to call me back! Phew, some escape.

I landed in Dubai on the 26th of Feb 2012 much to the delight of Sneha who is vacationing in India as we speak. Yo, good for you girl! I miss India already. Man, am I going to change or what? You know the thing about me? It’s the thing there I am never quite content. Now sometimes I think of it as a positive attitude; its like a drive in you to keep wanting more just so that you grow in life and keeping demanding more from life. In my case however, I run after what I don’t have and forget to enjoy what I have which I’m sure is a lot better than what I could have ever imagined it to be. I try my best but I always find the grass greener on the other side and I try my best to get to that side only to want to go to another side the moment I reach there. Annoying!

Its been smooth riding thus far in Dubai. I managed to get Shruti over and we have since then gone on to get a cozy little flat and fill it up with stuff. We splurged a ton of dirhams which I did not really have but that’s ok cause I hope it ties me down for a while. I suddenly feel this urge to relocate to Bangalore. Guess I won’t cause I’m sure that somebody gonna get a hurt real bad if somebody moves once again leaving behind all of someone else’s belongings to no one, heh! There’s a lot more to talk about but I guess I’d shut up for today. More in next… now since I am pretty sure that the audience should have gone down considerably!


Yoo hoo!! Surprise surprise!


I am sorry to intrude into your space, Nu. But it was painstaking for me to see this space being ignored and left to slowly stutter, choke and die. So I, Shruti Menon – a finding of this blog here, decided to drop by and invade in and clean up all the cob-webs and dust you’ve accumulated here. I am sorry, Nu, for this not-so-pleasant surprise. I know how much you value your space and privacy but I had to do this to shake you up as violently as I could and make you realize how much this blog misses you and I bet you miss it just as much. God was generous enough to gift you with an excellent skill to write and dare you waste that talent for some Drake running around to find some god forsaken treasure. Hmphh!

For those who used to read this blog and maybe still do in hope to find him here one day should know that, yes, he is very much alive and kicking.

What keeps him busy these days?

Uncharted 2 – For those who are as crazy as him and runs behind games should know what Uncharted 2 is. As for those who don’t.. just consider yourself lucky!

Shifting jobs and cities/countries – Yes. A lot has changed since his last post. We bid Hyderabad adieu last month and now juggling between Pune and Kerala like nomads. Nupsie is still in search for his ideal place to settle down until then.. I guess we both will pretty much be travelling around the world with our caravan. 🙂

Fighting with poor me – Arguing with each other is one of our favorite hobbies. Or let’s just say one of MY favorite hobbies. *wink* It is amazing how we always tend to have so many differences of opinion about things. Our arguments normally last for good 10-15 minutes which later fizzles out with either one of us (mostly Anup) sheepishly grinning. LOL. That can be really annoying sometimes.

Movies/sitcoms – If there were ever a competition for a couple who watches the maximum number of movies then we sure would, hands down, beat anybody at it!! I was never really a movie buff until I met Anup. He even got me to watch the entire Harry Potter and Aliens and Predators series! :O That is something even my brother could never get me to do in the past 10 years!

I don’t know whether it was cause of Anup or the movie buff inside me who suddenly decide to awaken! Anyhoo, so the point is we love watching movies and run the movie marathons almost every day. Our hunger for movies never ends with one a day! If not a movie then a re-run of HIMYM or The Big Bang theory is a must.

Day Dreams – Anup loves to day dream! He dreams about everything he knows he should be acting on but just wont outta his sheer obsession towards Nathan Drake.

One such dream is about a story he has in his head which he plans to write and publish.. until.. Drake decides to burst his bubble and grab his attention! Hmphh!! I wish I was Nathan Drake sometimes!! hehe

On a more serious note: All in all our life is never not entertaining… so much so we find 24 hours too less a time to do things together! 🙂

I am lucky to have found, you, Anu! I doubt it would be easy for anybody else to live under the same roof with a crazy person like me. Which is why I have a lot to thank this blog for. I really wish you write more often and not ignore this space like you do now. I still am an ardent fan of your writing and really look forward for a big comeback than see this space die a sad death.


Your Wife.

2012 – Welcome to a year of penance…

…or so they say. I’m crowded by thoughts of the dreadful things that are to happen in this year but all of it seemed to disappear as I lived through year 2011 and moved on to year 2012 along with Shruti (most certainly my better half), Rohit and Shobhita (Shruti’s brother and his wife). There seemed to be nothing but pure unadulterated joy and an almost childish anxiousness to welcome year 2012!

The year 2012 is going to be a historic year as envisioned by many right from the Mayans right down to our modern day scientists and world leaders. A year which is to see human agony like none other. Its not like I’m much of a believer but its always there on the back of my mind that we humans will pay dearly for all the dreadful sins we have committed, are committing and are yet to commit in the year to go by. End of year is what they have foretold and I’m already excited to see 2013 just to prove the masses wrong. As a species we are tolerant and we adapt to changes very quickly therefore, just like the cockroaches I think we will live past what these fortune tellers have predicted and I’m sure we’ll live through it in style.

The year that has gone by has been a rather quiet one for me; considering all the words that haven’t left my fingers and all the times where I wished I could write. Words continue to elude me but I think all of that is about to change mostly because I’ve begun reading again. I’ve started off with easy to read books because I prefer those and I’d like to stick to diction that I could make sense of quickly rather than having to pull out the dictionary and strain myself. It has been a galore of Indian fiction and puppy romances from the IIT’ians. I am surprised with the sheer number of IITians turned writers post the Chetan Bhagat era. Every Engineer who walks out of IIT writes a romantic easy to read novel these days and I think I have liked almost all of them. I have picked up the occasional drabs but those were make-a-do too. Not at all bore or drab, you know? I wonder how these guys find the time to come up with excellent stuff. Kudos to you’ll. Ahhh, I have strayed away.

So the year 2011 can be summarized in the following few sentences:

  1. Moved back to India (Hyderabad) from Dubai. [This deserves a write up in itself!]
  2. Joined TCS – as is hired from du to continue working on the same project from Hyderabad.
  3. Transition from Uncharted 2 to Uncharted 3
  4. Work – PS3 – eat – PS3 – Annoy Shruti – Sleep – Repeat.
  5. My brand new pot belly.

Along with this comes the losses and gains section. I’ll keep this short and easy to understand.

What I have lost:

  1. The truck load of worries I had when I was in Dubai.
  2. Words and the will to write.
  3. Wasted time on a box full of fun.
  4. Friends – quite a few this year actually. I’m not surprised though.
  5. Uncharted 2 – not supported anymore!

What I have gained:

  1. A friend for life. Do I need more?

All that being said; I’m super thrilled right now because I’m the proud owner of a Fossil CH2695 and it nothing less than a work of art. Thats my new years gift from Shruti and I cant stop staring at it every now and then. I always wanted something this cool in a brown and black combo, you know? Darn sweet! Thanks a ton wifey… muah’s!

So, yes, here’s me, the both of us and all of us together welcoming 2012 with open arms. Lets hope the river flows in the best direction possible. Cheers!~



Alive and kicking.

I’ve been idling at my blog for the past three to four hours roughly thinking about where I need to start from. If you’ll noticed; I recently changed the blog’s theme and it was hated upon vociferously by Shruti. I still kept it for a while to see if I’d grow into it but nope, it just did not do it for me the way ADSimple does. The current theme that is. Its simple, nice and most importantly – red. I like the way it looks and feels and how it is easy to everyone’s eye. I’m not sure about what the masses feel about it but I felt much better the moment I changed it back to what it was.

As to why I’ve been invisible.. uhm, from what I have understood of myself it seems as though I need to feed upon pain and sorrow to come up with text that make a mark. Else, all that gargles out of me is nothing but bullshit! And I mean it – I just can’t seem to come up with the “happy stuff” you know? In fact, the moment I start sounding happy; by content or even if I type with a smile, the text just seems to bore themselves away and I end up staring at a blank notepad or sometimes my own self in the mirror. Wawwww!! I’m not kidding. Sometimes, I’m just a bore snore. I don’t quite want to say this in an open forum, but whatever is fine. Guess I need to get it out in order to attain some clarity about myself, you know?

What do I mean by a Happy blog? Check this out – Now here is a person who can really write happy stuff. Things that make her happy and words that make everyone who read it happy. Every post on her blog brings a smile to my face (Meh, me grumpy me) and I can’t stop wondering about how someone gets to be the way she is! I have been a silent follower of her blog for a couple of years now I think and there hasn’t been a single entry which put me down or made me feel sad or thoughtful. Every post is so light, happy and easy to relate to. Her story telling capabilities are without doubt exceptional and I hope she writes a fun book or something or maybe get her blog converted into a book. I’ve known of someone who has done that and it was pretty good. Not a chart buster but good nevertheless. Smikh introduced me to Sayesha’s and I just had to throw in a shout out to tell her that she’s one of the most inspiring people I know on the web. Cheers.

That being said – I hope for this entry to help get back to where I actually belong – words, texts, sentences and everything to do with narration and story telling. Hehe, yes, I always think of my life to be full of stories.


…at home; at peace.

I haven’t felt like this in a while; I haven’t been feeling the need to write, sometimes I’d try and fail and some other times words would just pause. On most ocassions, however, I’d just be busy playing Uncharted 2 or fighting with Shruti about me wanting to play more! Its not like she wanted to watch the TV but then she’d just throw a tantrum to get me out of the transfixed state that I was in whilst playing that game. I haven’t ever spoken about my most recent addiction and thats how stuck I was with it.

Uncharted 2 multiplayer was a world in its own and Anup Menon alias RyukDG was a skin running around with an AK-47, a 9.2 FS pistol and an MK-NDI grenade. It threw me (once again) into a virtual world where I was surrounded by gun nuts and random screamy kids addicted to the power boost that an online game provides. I hope this justifies my absence from the blogospere. Sadly, as far as I have noticed a lot of regular bloggers have given up and moved on with life and more. I just hope that they all come back and I make time for following up on my blogroll.

I am not going to talk much about my addiction to the Playstation 3 because its a pointless discussion which may or may not interest the masses and for those who really want to discuss games and the console; feel free to email in – I’d love to talk about it *winks* I’m sure Shruti would be reading this sometime and the PS3 is the last thing that she’d want to read about. So, I’ll move on to greener pastures and may eventually discuss the happenings in my life over the past couple of years.

As I read up on my posts between 2009 and 2010; I realized that most of the posts were just not me. I wrote, sometimes out of sheer boredom and sometimes since I had people breathing down my neck to write a few lines. Forcing myself to write has never worked in my favour and never will. I am more of a heart guy and all that I notate needs to flow. Thinking while I write never helps and those posts (between the dates I mentioned) are astoundingly pathetic. This was the phase in my life where I had just landed in Dubai and had just met the girl I’d marry. I was busy with too many things and writing never seemed to come to me. Thus, a lot of pushy posts. I am hoping to start fresh; probably try to re-design the whole blog and archive all the posts before this date. I still haven’t planned on how to do it because its been a few months since I tweaked wordpress and I really don’t like messing up this place. It does have a lot of fond memories and I hate losing data – be it good or bad.

So why now? Well, I have ended my 2 year stint at Dubai and have come back to my motherland. I was a patriot from the time I remember but never have I missed my country so much. The fragrances, the stench, the pollution, the numerous languages, the fighting adults and the crying kids, all the chirping birds and the barking dogs; all of it is still sinking in to me it feels like I am floating. There is around 2 years worth information that has gone by and I will re-post with a rundown on the dreamy little year that I have shared with my patient better half, thus far. “Which year?” she’ll probably ask. Time has flown by and the both of us find it hard to believe that we have already been together for a year. I will follow up with more on that;  but for now, a big Hi! to all those who grace by this place and I hope that you’ll are doing well. I’m sorry for not being around and I am hoping that I’d be seen more in the years to come.

I’ll end with this – In an utopian world I am the happiest man alive!


The lull

“Don’t let the lull fool you!” Its deceptive and its like the calm before a tsunami. This has been proven to be true in my case time and again. There are days like today where work flows like a rivulet and you think about engaging in activities like reading off of a few blogs, reading the newspaper online (yes, I do that sometimes), reading reviews on the new games that have been released and everything else that you can find online APART from work! Define rivulet: a small stream. But like I said, you have been deceived by the lull. Its just breathing space and nothing more. Its just like a tiny oasis amongst long stretches of barren lifeless deserts (like it is here, in Dubai!) It gets over before you know it and you’re out there again; fighting against problems, tackling roadblocks, being roadblocks, arguing with people who are much below your level of likeliness, yelling, going completely against your demeanor, scratching your head, googling, staring into nothingness while you carelessly dig your nose thinking about “stuff” amongst all the other things you’d probably be doing at work. Define raging river: a crazy violent river. Its all in a days work and no, digging your nose is perfectly alright. Just don’t eat it! There are people and there is youtube.

Rants apart, I caught myself in that moment of lull and I thought I’d write a few lines. Its not always when I feel like doing this. Not anymore at least. I assure all my avid readers and fans that its not that I don’t want to write. Its just that I’ve been busy off late and by the time I get home, all I want to do is fall on the XXL sized bean bag and think about nothing. Its another thing that I don’t get a lot of opportunity to do that *winks* Work never seems to end for me and Hamid always comes up with new things that I might want to do or could possibly include into my already hectic and never-ending schedule. Now, its another thing that there is a part of me who enjoys every bit of the work he does but there is also a part of me who’d want to return to his days in HP where he had very little to do, had to hardly go to work (work from home with a good pay was an option then) and is hardly responsible for anything that happens. Ahhh! Those were the days where I earned without so much as twitching my nose. Things are different now. I am responsible for tasks and activities which can be done by no one but me. I work with someone who is worth all the respect. The learning curve that I have here seems like a very long one. The hyperbola does not seem to end and its annoying me now! I’d like some peace, you know? I really want to sit down and have enough time on me to note down things on my mind and I need to do it at least once a week. But then, its been a roller coaster ride for me thus far and time has moved very quickly from the time I’ve reached Dubai. I sometimes can’t believe that I’ve completed 13 months here. For me, everything seems like it happened yesterday. XYZ company called, interview was done, they offered me a job, I turned into a fool and came here! See the pun there? No? Uhm, well, I’m a bit grungy and I promise to get better.

This post is dedicated to some marvelous art work by my partner-in-life, Shruti. she and I claim no rights to the below image because this is not a figment of her imagination. She managed to get all the emotions on his face right and she got the smudges to be just perfect. I hardly ever knew about this side of her. But like they say, marriage is a slow learning process and the slower it is, the better it is for you! I’m putting up a few of her sketches and I think they are all stake-sauce!

Shruti’s Gallery part 1:

I’ve added a ‘part 1’ to this because I’m sure that there’d be more to come from the pencil she’s wielding these days. Yes, wielding… you’re a show off, you know? Anyway, people who might appreciate work like this please drop a comment. I’ll be posting more later. Topics of discussion – my new PS3, my new PS3 and ahhh yes of course, my new PS3. Not to forget… my reviews on games like God of war 3 and Uncharted 2. Ohh man! You have to play Uncharted 2. If you’re somebody who likes gaming then this is THAT game for which you MUST buy a PS3. Its that awesome. Not only is its in-game storyline that is fantabulous but the online multiplayer version will knock your balls off! But then, like I said, more about that later. Finally, signing off with one of my picks of the week (music):

Hosanna – Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya; simply Rahman!

Peace out folks.



That’s what and how I feel when I stare at my blog. I swear to god that I’ve been staring at my journal throughout the day today and I came up with uhm, Blank! Its not that I don’t have things happening in my life. That is so not right. In fact, I have had more things happen over the past year or so. It’s not that I did not want to write and it’s certainly not that I really wanted to give up but then I don’t quite know what to do. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this a ‘writers block’ because I’ve realized off late that I’m not a ‘writer’ In fact, every now and then I feel that I’m pretty much – nothing. Every time I begin working on something; something else catches my attention and I run after it for a while and after some more time you’d find me doing the funky chicken dance! Wasting time and avoiding work has become passé’ and not a day goes by when I don’t hate myself for the utter lack of interest I show towards my life and hers!

We should be out taking a walk, you know? As promised before leaving work. We should have had a subway sandwich or a salad but instead, I get lazy and we order Chinese. It was so yum!! It’s not like I love Chinese but then there’s Delhi Darbar and there’s Indian Chinese. Tastes like Christmas in your mouth. So, yeah, I couldn’t help myself and there goes another lethargic evening. Most evenings are spent watching movies on YouTube or just about googling aimlessly. Sometimes, I try harder at writing and end up failing miserably. To be frank, I don’t quite remember the days when I could write effortlessly, the days where my fingers were in complete sync with my brains and with what I felt. I’m not sure about how I should feel – happy for not needing the world wide web to talk or disappointed for having given up on something I thought I did alright – write!

More than anything, I think its the changes that have come to my life over the past year. Love has come my way, opportunities have come in plenty and work has been as busy as can be. Garnish it with my lazy ass self and there you have my life as it is now ! Its a truck load of fun mind you. I do miss writing though and there are days where I wish I could write a line. “Just a line would do maybe?” I think to myself. This is the best that I could do. Thought I’d put in a little update to remind all of you’ll that I’m still around and I hope to linger more often!

Signing off with this – for now life is blissful in Dubai. I do have the occasional hiccups every now and then; work and wife included. Its a new thing – marital life that! But more on that later. My stay at Dubai might end abruptly if I get what I want. I need a break, a new opportunity. I need a crack at something more exciting and something which has a better brand value. I need to move. What I need now is stability, learning and better opportunities. Wish me luck.


Peace and music

My prolonged absence from this space is unforgivable and I apologize for being negligent. Thank you Shruti, Abhi, Smikh, Sneha, Mom and all of you’ll who kept reminding me about writing and how I must not give up on one of the only activities I am good at; or so you’ll said. I’m not quite sure though. Cause overall, I’ve noticed an alarming drop in my quality of work over the past few months. I’m really not sure about what’s wrong with me or maybe what’s right with me… hmm, mostly right! The obvious change here being Shruti. Fact is, I am happy. Very very happy. I’d like to express my happiness but don’t all of us have that phase in our lives where we are happier than we have ever been and are too lost in it to be able to express it? I’m not quite sure if anyone gets what I feel but that’s pretty much how it is for me right now and I’m loving it!

Shruti feels that I write only when I’m sad. I’m not sure about how true this would be but what she said is not without some truth. I thought about what she said and it seems to be true. Abhi, haven’t we discussed about this once? Somehow, all my stories, all that I’ve written and my poems is the juxtaposition of contrasting feelings which seem to have the same flavor – sadness. Point being, I’m not keeping sad anymore and that’s probably the reason I haven’t been able to type in much. My life has gone through some major changes over the past few months and I’m still trying to soak in the feelings and the people which time has given me. I keep reminding myself time and again that she who is the reason for my happiness has come from this very place and that I must be thankful to my blog for having given her to me. Again, I feel that this blog has served its purpose and life is all about your Karma’s.’s Karma was to find Shruti and bring her to me and trust me, there is a long and interesting story behind how she came here. Its crazy!!

So that’s where I stand now. I have been contemplating a complete systems shut down for this blog and yes, I am still thinking. My big ass dream of trying to complete what I began (my novel) seems to have gone for a toss and my want to write onto that word file may not be back for a while. Thinking about my past is something I avoid aggressively these days because I just don’t like being sad and my past inevitably makes me sad and nostalgic. I’m a sucker for nostalgia and I get lost in my past most often than not. Its not like it was a nightmare but it reminds me of people and their actions which forces me back into being sad and I don’t like being sad. No Shruti, I don’t. I love the food you cook; the dal you cooked today was outstanding, I love it that you wake up early for me, I love your haircut too! Seriously. Overall, I am one happy kid and therefore I am not sure about the fate of this place. What do you guys think? Should I leave it in peace and concentrate on life and music instead? Seems like a plan.


Bangalore revisited

Its been less than 7 months since I left Bangalore behind but its all that I can think of now and my craving to return is growing stronger by the minute. Now, I’m fairly certain that this post might be prematurely ended due to my short attention span and my addiction to movie re-runs; which I must say is despicable because I’ve been repeating movies that I’ve watched a zillion times! Sometimes, I even remember the dialogues that is to follow but then, I’m addicted to re-runs and that’s all that I’m doing these days. I’m supposed to be working, reading, following up with dad on my marriage arrangements and other grave matters that need my attention but all I do whenever I find time is port into my hard drive full of movies that I’ve downloaded over the past 3 years and browse through. I then find a movie I’d like and there you have a re-run! Its suddenly hit me that around 10 days of leaves have sped by with me doing nothing but movie re-runs, a couple of books and some other things in general; which I must say I absolutely HAD to do. Like take a small stroll, stare at the gym from outside and contemplate an entry, stare at the Dubai skyline from my terrace and think about things, daily chores in the bathroom and a couple of stray discussions with the store manager at Madina super market, Bur Dubai.

I’d also like to bring to my notice the evident and seemingly alarming distance from human contact. So I have this room and I am in it. Its got everything you need. Split AC, a fridge, a bathroom, a bed, the internet and windows which you need not open! Its the perfect place to bury yourself and never be seen again. Hell yeah! That’s what I’ve been going through for the past 5 odd days and its silenced me from the inside. Sometimes, I even feel like I don’t have a shadow! What the fuck? Its so pissed at my lethargy that it went on a stroll by itself. I catch up to it overtime though. I’m scared of being alone in this cold desert. Don’t leave me alone, ehh? Things haven’t moved since the time I got in and I don’t intend on moving them into the cupboard because this room would then creep me out more. I haven’t turned the lights off in over 5 days – again cause it scares me every now and then. The new apartment is gorgeous no doubt but every once in a while it seems like Room 1408 in that movie. The one where they had a dead ghost living somewhere amongst its tiles. Damn! I’m going to have another sleepless night today. I’m hoping for work and hard labor to fix this problem. Work will commence tomorrow after an excruciating gap of 10 days and Boy! am I happy.

I’ll set aside the ramble for now and keep it for another date. As the topic suggests the aforementioned wasn’t my prime topic of discussion for today. It was Bangalore. If there was anyone who was following this blog and reading every now and then if not always, you’d note my obvious love for Bangalore. There aren’t any grave reasons for this. I just like the city for no reason. It seems like my place to be and the city where I’d finally settle down. I’ve lived a dreamy life there and come to think of it now, I’ve never been as alone as I am today. Again, loneliness is a state of mind and it can be easily overcome… yada yada yada!! Blargh, up yours with all that mumbo jumbo. I had friends there. However little they be, they were there. I didn’t meet them as often as I’d want to but then its ok, you know? It was enough that they were around. This post is dedicated to those glorious 18 months that I spent in Bangalore AFTER wrapping up a masquerading bitch of a period in Pune. A few clicks full of memories…

A lot of pictures have been left behind and I guess I’d track back to them a few months down the line. I’m sure my homesickness would just keep growing until the day I decide to return once and for all. From the looks of it, that day isn’t too far. I’ve always known that I wasn’t meant to be out of India and these days that I spend outside of my motherland yell an affirmative to my precognized notion. Point being, I’ve had people like Kuttapi, Ammu and Radha aunty who were MORE than my own family (trust me; in a lot of different ways), I had friends like Chetan and Ajay. These are probably the coolest people I’ve ever known. Anymore cooler than this and that’d make them backstabbing bastards. A karaoke pub that would let me sing and people who really did not care how you sang as long as you had the balls to do it! An opportunity to listen to Ajay sing "Smells like Teen spirit" and "Angels" AND rocking on both accounts. Chetan and me walking on the street and bursting out with streams of teared laughter at the aunty who let one go! Abhi and his very regular visits. The writers club and those emails that were exchanged. I can go on and on and on. Reasons aplenty for why I loved that city and how much I long to go back.

Now, the most obvious question is – Then why the fuck are you still stuck there? Well, you got to know this – a typical middle class mans life is full of a series of different kinds of shit – obligatory shit, responsibility shit, you-live-in-a-society-shit amongst others. I’m not different. As stuck as can be in a mud puddle which is grippy and ruthless. Questions like, "Ahhh, you’re back so soon?" with the "What a loser! tssk tssk" kinda face. "But son, you shouldn’t have wasted an opportunity like this!" You need more? I have more – "What?? You’re getting married – you need the cash! Don’t be a whiney loser like XYZABC, hang on!" Finally, the peach, "Damn! you got laid off, didn’t you?" I’m too scared of these questions and I don’t wish to fall down in order to answer them. Guess we all get fucked by the society one way or another. I’ll just deal with it for a while and fly back when I feel its time and when I’m no more part of a society that knows me.

Well, apart from these teeny weeny problems life pretty bright. Dubai is under 80 billion worth debt they say. I have no freaking clue of what’s going on and when I’d be thrown out of my job. What’s the point in thinking? I’d play the wait and watch game for now cause uhm, that’s all that you can do. I’m not going to crib, fret and frown over my job because there is no dearth for opportunities! In other news, Sneha is getting married too and I’m super excited. My long vacation starts on the 28th of January and I cant wait for the days to fly by. I cant bear the void anymore and I cant wait for Mrs. Menon to come over. Well, that’s it for now and I hope to god that this finally shows up as a post. I don’t trust myself with blogging these days. I have no clue about what’s gotten into me. Publishing a post seems to be a herculean task and I most usually find a reason to discard the draft by the end of it. This is lovingly dedicated to all those people back in Bangalore/Pune and Kerala *winks* This is to tell you’ll that I miss you’ll truck loads. Peace out.