Musebox 31 – Year ending 2014

photo(1)The year is about to end and here’s wishing a grand good bye to 2014. As usual I am a day too late to come up with updates and no I am not here to give excuses because the year has been an excellent one considering that me and my partner in crime; Shruti have had our little devil grow into this beautiful little ball of joy that makes us laugh and cry at the same time. No, I’m not kidding about this. We never knew that a small little thing like her could hold us hostage. Ohh and tears! I am sure she can contract for water if she wanted to cause tears just flow so naturally and easily at her will. All this apart we have been blissfully lucky to have her with us and there isn’t a day that goes by where we don’t thank god for giving her to us. She’s the prettiest thing we have seen and she is and will be forever – the queen of our heart.

This year has zoomed through at the speed of light. Work has been hectic and as I explained above we have had someone who just sucks every desire in us to look at anything else but her and hell no, I say that with absolutely no remorse. Though there are times when it seems too much for us to take; one smile and it all goes away. More than me its her, Shruti, the mother – the life-giver. Here is where you as a man see how inconsequential you are. All you contribute towards that life seems so minuscule when you observe from so close as to what a mother gives to get you to be where you are. In the end all you end up wishing is not for your offspring to love, respect or be there for you. All you wish for is for that child to know her mothers worth and be there for her – forever because you would never have had the power to move a limb if it weren’t for her. So here’s saluting all the millions of mothers out there. What you do is never truly recognized and it is in one of these very weak moments where us men tend to say – hey, thank you. Thank you for everything.

Work has been killer this entire year and no its not because I’m doing a lot of things. Its this one project which has clung on to me like tar to road. Its so sticky that it just won’t let go and I’m sure that even when it supposedly gets over I’d have stains and I’ll still be stuck in one way or the other to the road and I’ll have tons of people drive all over me. See the reference there? I’ve made way for people to commute and I know that I’ll get stuck on that very way. I tried to be Euphemistic there but no, I just can’t get it sound any less grim. The fuckin’ project is such that the management doesn’t give a fuck, the users don’t give two fucks and it seems like its just the Project team that see how important it is. Meh, important you ask? Fuck that – we are scrubs who work for nothing more than money. There is no respect and I’ve been living like this for far too long but then its Ka-ching you know? However much you earn the lesser it seems. God damn it, stop being such a sucker for pity Anup. Tell them about all the real life awesomeness that you’re missing out on just cause you’d rather sit in front of the thing-that-shows-you-whats-not-real instead of picking up that kid and going to the garden. Smell that fresh air, you know? Ahhh, let me get to that in small simple pointers.

  • I live a dream most people can only dream of – I swear to god!
  • I don’t seem to see all the good that my life has studded all over the place.
  • My wife loves me too god damn much for my own good. I am 97 kgs and counting.
  • Weight loss is a journey that we both embark on every single day and fail at it twice on the same day at the least.
  • …continuing – we are like spiders. We never give up!
  • I live in a country where me and my family can be out on the street at any given point in time and not fear for our safety.
  • I drive a car that I could only have dreamed of; elsewhere.
  • I can jog a couple of miles if I still wanted to. Hope I see the good in this.
  • I got a total of 46 paid days off this year – WTF?

So yes, the above should stand testimony to the fact that I need to live each and every moment of life rather than cribbing about how much it could have been better. Of course it can be made better but no one else except me can work towards it because god knows and I do too that nature has given me everything that I need, I have all the tools to ensure that I grow old well. How I utilize this is left unto me and if I fail at it I have no one but me to blame. For now though, I seem to get crowded by thoughts and heavy words like “responsibilities” which is something every middle aged man goes through and these struggles are something you wade through to ensure that you see that sense of purposed which drives our lives. I am still running circles though with Shruti and Krisha right in the middle. They seem to bear up with my stupid bouts of anger, idiosyncrasies that I myself don’t understand and yes finally – all the luggage that I seem to carry. Ohh God, help me just shed the weight and feel light cause that’s what I want to feel. But then again, here we have another year of achievements and I am sure that I’ll win if I have these guys by my side. That’s it for now I guess.

<3 my lovelies. I know I talk a lot and don’t do much but I will try to get better. Hope you have faith in me and remember – patience is key with me!

-Anup

Bi-yearly catch up!

What is up you guys? This is me, myself and I welcoming you to a brand new year. I know that I’ve been gone for a while now and this place is so dead right now. I come here ever so often hoping to get motivated by words that seemed to come to me so easily but this just doesn’t seem to be working for me and writing/blogging rather seems to be a thing of the past. No one blogs anymore says Shruti. Who even blogs? Type up text you mean? Seriously? Who has the time to read through walls of text? My manager calls me up each time he reads my emails and asks me to give him a two line summary in order to even “consider” my concern. That is how much people hate text. We have been taken by the vlog storm and youtube is the way to go. I have a youtube channel and all the jazzy social media crap but it can never do to me what walls of text does. I know that most of the people who used to come here would probably never come around hoping to see new stuff because 6 months is too long a time and in any case – I literally blog bi-yearly, so its no biggie!

There is a lot to catch up on and I am sure that I can come up with pages and pages of data and still not be done with it. However, the wife has dozed off already and I am so darn sleepy! This is just a post to try and follow what she told me – write a line or two a day and see where it takes you. So here I am; making an effort to write not for anyone else but just to get me closer to what I used to love doing and a certain part of me who still thinks that the thing I am best at is words, text, expressions and walls of text. In my case, love those walls as I always seem to get through them quite easily.

Here’s wishing anyone who graces by a happy and prosperous year 2013 and I hope for the best to come to you and your family. I seem to be doing well where I am. I am getting plumper by the day and I am worried about my health. I should be able to catch up over time but I really need to give it my full sooner than later. Shruti is bored but is doing extremely well and she is the strongest ray of hope in my life. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t fight with her. Sometimes, I just annoy her to see her get mad at me, its funny I tell you but that’s what I love about us we fight without too many egos!

A lot more to tell you’ll but I’ll leave that for future. For now, I hope to just about hit the final period here and go to bed. This won’t get published until I do that cause its almost 3:00 AM here and I had a tough day at work. I’m almost sleeping on my keyboard.

Cheers you guys! I missed you’ll.

-Anup

Dubai – Hyderabad – Dubai

I think I have thrown in a little something about my stay in Hyderabad in one of my previous posts and like I said then, that deserved a write up in itself about how; for loves sake did I reach Hyderabad of all places?! Well, I don’t have a clue to date because leaving Dubai was never meant to be. These are not my words but my sisters curse. Sneha kept telling me that I was going to get back to Dubai sooner than I thought and I always laughed off her childish thoughts about how she and I are meant to be close by or so says the lame ass palmist from Kerala, some shit. I know, I know; thanks a lot for all  your good luck Shruti! You’re the reason I’m here *winks*

So, news from this part of town is about me getting my ass back here. I was away for around 10 months I think and I got called back by the desert that reaps money. I can vouch for that one – the money part that is. Tax-free money is something that every Indian wants to brag about but here is where I really feel the pinch missing, you know? The pinch that pains bad – TAXES! Yikes, I get the shizzles by its mere thought. A little birdie told me that my manager thought that I was worth the trouble and did his best to get me hired on a full time basis. No more contracts babey!! Now that is something to be real proud of; having a full time job in a semi government organization in Dubai. Its w00t.

Can’t stop thinking of the time between the end of 2010 up to around first quarter of 2011 when everything in my life was unstable as hell. I was on a contractual job if I haven’t mentioned before. Not the kind of a contract where you know when you’ll be without a job. This is the kind of contract that keeps you hanging – you never know! I never knew when the contract would end and when I’d be body shopped out of my organization onto the contractors bench and thereby fired duly over a period of time and over months of unrest which would have surely originated from my side. The restless person that I am – I won’t let you live till you give me an answer and once you give me a negative one I’ll haunt you every now and then. Lol, no. Seriously, I’m a stupid fool who’d accept anything with that dumb look on your face, you know? The one that says, “Hey! I deserve this, but its fine if you don’t give it to me” Fucktard.

Finally, somewhere around March 2011 they decided to let us go and in stepped TCS who offered to take me into its ample bosom and feed me with all the laziness it had to offer. I can swear that it is the organization for anyone who wants to lead a live-eat-die life. Its that awesome. You get in and you retire in lets say 30 years sometimes without knowing about what the fuck just happened. You absolutely don’t need to know anything about anything and you don’t need to give a rats ass in order to survive there. I don’t say it just for the heck of it – its heavenly safe once you get in and if you are really someone who has decided to stay there is nothing that will stop you from growing. Highly recommended for the content masses, you know? So, I worked from TCS, Hyderabad for around 10 months for the very same project in pretty much the same role but with a better designation. I really don’t know where those days went and I really don’t want to talk about the filth that I got myself into as far as living in Hyderabad is concerned.

As far as Hyderabad is concerned – it’s a good city so to say in regards with the crowds on the road, the mobs who want to know what’s happening with you and of course the policemen who want to loot you for everything they see but what went wrong with me was the place or the area that I chose to stay. I knew nothing and I made a big big mistake. I took up a house in a place called Miyapur which I learnt later was the scum of the city. It sucked so bad that we literally had to keep the glasses of our car up as we drove by into our apartment. Why? The entire road that lead to our apartment turned into a big open sewage transit passageway within 3 months of us moving in. Now that’s the kind of shit that you need when you’re really talking about shit! Blah, it was disgusting. I was scared of contracting a bad disease over the time but luckily I survived and my ex-current boss decided to call me back! Phew, some escape.

I landed in Dubai on the 26th of Feb 2012 much to the delight of Sneha who is vacationing in India as we speak. Yo, good for you girl! I miss India already. Man, am I going to change or what? You know the thing about me? It’s the thing there I am never quite content. Now sometimes I think of it as a positive attitude; its like a drive in you to keep wanting more just so that you grow in life and keeping demanding more from life. In my case however, I run after what I don’t have and forget to enjoy what I have which I’m sure is a lot better than what I could have ever imagined it to be. I try my best but I always find the grass greener on the other side and I try my best to get to that side only to want to go to another side the moment I reach there. Annoying!

Its been smooth riding thus far in Dubai. I managed to get Shruti over and we have since then gone on to get a cozy little flat and fill it up with stuff. We splurged a ton of dirhams which I did not really have but that’s ok cause I hope it ties me down for a while. I suddenly feel this urge to relocate to Bangalore. Guess I won’t cause I’m sure that somebody gonna get a hurt real bad if somebody moves once again leaving behind all of someone else’s belongings to no one, heh! There’s a lot more to talk about but I guess I’d shut up for today. More in next… now since I am pretty sure that the audience should have gone down considerably!

-Anup

The lull

“Don’t let the lull fool you!” Its deceptive and its like the calm before a tsunami. This has been proven to be true in my case time and again. There are days like today where work flows like a rivulet and you think about engaging in activities like reading off of a few blogs, reading the newspaper online (yes, I do that sometimes), reading reviews on the new games that have been released and everything else that you can find online APART from work! Define rivulet: a small stream. But like I said, you have been deceived by the lull. Its just breathing space and nothing more. Its just like a tiny oasis amongst long stretches of barren lifeless deserts (like it is here, in Dubai!) It gets over before you know it and you’re out there again; fighting against problems, tackling roadblocks, being roadblocks, arguing with people who are much below your level of likeliness, yelling, going completely against your demeanor, scratching your head, googling, staring into nothingness while you carelessly dig your nose thinking about “stuff” amongst all the other things you’d probably be doing at work. Define raging river: a crazy violent river. Its all in a days work and no, digging your nose is perfectly alright. Just don’t eat it! There are people and there is youtube.

Rants apart, I caught myself in that moment of lull and I thought I’d write a few lines. Its not always when I feel like doing this. Not anymore at least. I assure all my avid readers and fans that its not that I don’t want to write. Its just that I’ve been busy off late and by the time I get home, all I want to do is fall on the XXL sized bean bag and think about nothing. Its another thing that I don’t get a lot of opportunity to do that *winks* Work never seems to end for me and Hamid always comes up with new things that I might want to do or could possibly include into my already hectic and never-ending schedule. Now, its another thing that there is a part of me who enjoys every bit of the work he does but there is also a part of me who’d want to return to his days in HP where he had very little to do, had to hardly go to work (work from home with a good pay was an option then) and is hardly responsible for anything that happens. Ahhh! Those were the days where I earned without so much as twitching my nose. Things are different now. I am responsible for tasks and activities which can be done by no one but me. I work with someone who is worth all the respect. The learning curve that I have here seems like a very long one. The hyperbola does not seem to end and its annoying me now! I’d like some peace, you know? I really want to sit down and have enough time on me to note down things on my mind and I need to do it at least once a week. But then, its been a roller coaster ride for me thus far and time has moved very quickly from the time I’ve reached Dubai. I sometimes can’t believe that I’ve completed 13 months here. For me, everything seems like it happened yesterday. XYZ company called, interview was done, they offered me a job, I turned into a fool and came here! See the pun there? No? Uhm, well, I’m a bit grungy and I promise to get better.

This post is dedicated to some marvelous art work by my partner-in-life, Shruti. she and I claim no rights to the below image because this is not a figment of her imagination. She managed to get all the emotions on his face right and she got the smudges to be just perfect. I hardly ever knew about this side of her. But like they say, marriage is a slow learning process and the slower it is, the better it is for you! I’m putting up a few of her sketches and I think they are all stake-sauce!

Shruti’s Gallery part 1:

I’ve added a ‘part 1’ to this because I’m sure that there’d be more to come from the pencil she’s wielding these days. Yes, wielding… you’re a show off, you know? Anyway, people who might appreciate work like this please drop a comment. I’ll be posting more later. Topics of discussion – my new PS3, my new PS3 and ahhh yes of course, my new PS3. Not to forget… my reviews on games like God of war 3 and Uncharted 2. Ohh man! You have to play Uncharted 2. If you’re somebody who likes gaming then this is THAT game for which you MUST buy a PS3. Its that awesome. Not only is its in-game storyline that is fantabulous but the online multiplayer version will knock your balls off! But then, like I said, more about that later. Finally, signing off with one of my picks of the week (music):

Hosanna – Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya; simply Rahman!

Peace out folks.

-Anup

Peace and music

My prolonged absence from this space is unforgivable and I apologize for being negligent. Thank you Shruti, Abhi, Smikh, Sneha, Mom and all of you’ll who kept reminding me about writing and how I must not give up on one of the only activities I am good at; or so you’ll said. I’m not quite sure though. Cause overall, I’ve noticed an alarming drop in my quality of work over the past few months. I’m really not sure about what’s wrong with me or maybe what’s right with me… hmm, mostly right! The obvious change here being Shruti. Fact is, I am happy. Very very happy. I’d like to express my happiness but don’t all of us have that phase in our lives where we are happier than we have ever been and are too lost in it to be able to express it? I’m not quite sure if anyone gets what I feel but that’s pretty much how it is for me right now and I’m loving it!

Shruti feels that I write only when I’m sad. I’m not sure about how true this would be but what she said is not without some truth. I thought about what she said and it seems to be true. Abhi, haven’t we discussed about this once? Somehow, all my stories, all that I’ve written and my poems is the juxtaposition of contrasting feelings which seem to have the same flavor – sadness. Point being, I’m not keeping sad anymore and that’s probably the reason I haven’t been able to type in much. My life has gone through some major changes over the past few months and I’m still trying to soak in the feelings and the people which time has given me. I keep reminding myself time and again that she who is the reason for my happiness has come from this very place and that I must be thankful to my blog for having given her to me. Again, I feel that this blog has served its purpose and life is all about your Karma’s. anup.org’s Karma was to find Shruti and bring her to me and trust me, there is a long and interesting story behind how she came here. Its crazy!!

So that’s where I stand now. I have been contemplating a complete systems shut down for this blog and yes, I am still thinking. My big ass dream of trying to complete what I began (my novel) seems to have gone for a toss and my want to write onto that word file may not be back for a while. Thinking about my past is something I avoid aggressively these days because I just don’t like being sad and my past inevitably makes me sad and nostalgic. I’m a sucker for nostalgia and I get lost in my past most often than not. Its not like it was a nightmare but it reminds me of people and their actions which forces me back into being sad and I don’t like being sad. No Shruti, I don’t. I love the food you cook; the dal you cooked today was outstanding, I love it that you wake up early for me, I love your haircut too! Seriously. Overall, I am one happy kid and therefore I am not sure about the fate of this place. What do you guys think? Should I leave it in peace and concentrate on life and music instead? Seems like a plan.

-Anup

Updates

Writing here and writing anywhere else for that matter has become near to impossible owing to the colossal changes happening in my life. I’m making a structural change too and I’m pretty excited about it. The infrastructure in Mr. Menons life is going to be sharpened with new overdrives, sidewalks and boulevards being made. I’ve been negligent and there have been days when I’ve stared for hours at my word file with no productive content. It’s no writers block, I feel. It’s more to do with the fact that my life is going to change drastically from Sunday the 20th of September and I spend my time these days pondering upon the implications of such a change. Therefore, it was bound to happen! These questions in my mind were bound to reach this virtual journal. There are a few other updates to include as well. Guess it’s been some time since I posted an update. What if people want to know about me and about things happening to me? Or maybe they already know but want to read anyway. Abhi is one of them. The ever knowing guy, he likes to read about things he already knows. So, here goes…

Anup in Dubai:
From my previous write-ups; I’m sure it’s evident that I’m not a big fan of Dubai and about how much I miss my motherland, Pune especially. I miss Pune a lot and I don’t know why. I was happy when I was in Bangalore and never actually wanted to go back to Pune even though it had all my peeps. But then, these days I miss Pune profusely and all my love for the Marathi language keeps ogling out. Probably because I thought Pune had all these memories that I despised and the ghosts of my past that I kept running away from. Point to note though; the answer to all those fears were also in Pune. Most, if not all, of my friends are in Pune. Or let me put it this way – people who really love me are in Pune and I think I’ve wanted to go back ever since I went to Bangalore but then things happened and I’m not too proud about it. Every time Ajay or Chetan mentioned about going back to Pune it’d burn me a bit because uhm, these people were the only people I had in Bangalore and I did not want them to leave. So I secretly thought about reaching Pune before they did because for sure, I know that one fine day, that’s where they’ll be! There is something about Maharashtra and its people that I agree was non-existent in Bangalore. Now this is probably because of my love for the language Marathi, which in its ‘rudra’ form can get real nasty. Why this now? Well, I like Marathi movies courtesy Abhijit A. Shedge. I watched “Aga bai Arechya” again yesterday after listening to a couple of its songs. Namely, “Man Udhaana Vaaryachi” and “Malhaar Vaari” Those songs touch me where Malayalam just can’t! I am a Malayali but then, I’ve been in Maharashtra for over 24 years and therefore I belong to it. Jai Maharashtra!

Dubai has been very rewarding thus far and I feel thankful to god for having given me this opportunity. I have earned a few to-be friends. As in, people I like and people who seem to like me and people I think will be my friends. Maybe, somewhere down the line. I’m not quite sure. I’m crazy like that. Being friends with people isn’t an easy thing for me to do. Friendship isn’t the mere hi-hello’s right? It’s more than that? I’ve had a roomie here for over 3 months now and the very fact that I’m still with him suggests that he’s alright. Even though he seems to talk a lot for his age, you know? He’s a young kid who has gained a lot at a plum age and therefore his adrenaline pumps every time he talks to the elders (us) and he feels proud about where he is now. And he must! I don’t see a problem with that. The problem is with words that seem to bother people. I’m pretty alright because I give it right back but then, he needs to be careful. Apart from him there are a few people at work I talk to and things seem to be flowing alright for now. I do not want a lot of changes for now because what I’d need here on is stability. I can’t afford a lot of mistakes or misfortunes and I’m heavily relying on mom and her prayers! The work culture in Dubai is something which I’m not used to. It worries me sometimes but there is little I can do about it. We have two sections (or more) of people here; two sections that I know of, the full time employees and the contractors or consultants so to say. Nuff said, FTEs have HR and the consultants don’t and of course there is this huge discrepancy in the money they earn for uhm, pretty much the same kinda work being done. It’s very common for people to be exploited here and you have to be careful when you sign up. This is something I have known from word of mouth and from personal experience. I guess it’s alright to talk about it since I’m not taking names. Add to that, sometimes, you really got to cut back on your ego to survive here. Keep your dignity alive but well, yes; lose out on your ego if you want to keep hanging on! Its tax free money for love’s sake! Apart from all this, Dubai is hot and exercising isn’t a possibility right now. This adds to me physically and I’m worried. I promise to do something about it when I return and I will post in with updates on that – WITHOUT FAIL! That’s that about being Anup in Dubai.

Professionally speaking:
I’ve landed on a goldmine! Alright now this bit is for those who know and understand my line of work. I’m sure it’ll be full of technical jargons the others might not care. The thing about me professionally is that I need a drive to work to my full potential and do well. An iota of motivation does wonders for me and I manage to amaze myself always. I was hired as a “Systems Administrator” or a “Microsoft Consultant” as on my offer letter. Now this is a very ambiguous title and it means that people like me who are specialty centric need to start working hard. I’ve been working on the Active Directory part of Microsoft Servers and that’s how it’s been for over 4 years! Now suddenly, I’m expected to know bits of almost all the Microsoft technologies available and this has evidently taken its toll on me. I currently am responsible for technologies like ISA, Citrix, Print services, User provisioning (Hell yeah!) and double it up since we have two such environments to take care of. Microsoft HMC also comes under us and that’s a complex thing right there for you. I also manage to interact a lot with the Incident/Problem/Change Management team and I am deeply involved with the day to day operations of a 3500 strong company. This involves a lot of procedures and paper work since the people here are very signature driven. Approvals are not online and you have to walk up to people, discuss changes, explain why it’s needed and then get them to sign. Its old school but very effective, I guess. I also get to interact a lot with the network operations and firewall management teams here thereby increasing my understanding of the way things work when it comes to systems security and infrastructure management from a security standpoint.

Simply put, there is a humongous amount of data that I’m currently gobbling in and that’s adding on to my pot belly! My head has always been big and it has been crowded since ever.  I have an information leak leading into my stomach; me thinks! More importantly, I work under a very able person who is my TL and I take him as my mentor in this field as of now. The guy is a genius when it comes to systems design, integration and troubleshooting. This was thoroughly unexpected. I’m not impressed so soon with anybody but this guy is different. I work part time as his PA and I don’t feel weird about it at all because of all the data that I get from him otherwise. He has given me a lot of opportunities already and trusts me with our systems. So yes, professionally I’m content and happy. I am expanding my horizons and soon, I’ll learn it all. I’d probably never be a visionary like my TL is but I’d sure pick up a few things from him which will help me grow and evolve into something more than a Systems Engineer. I’d slowly want to move towards the architectural line. I’d try and get into Customization and implementation sometime soon and be parts of projects. Once I have a few successful projects in my kitty I could move towards being what I want to end up as – A technical architect. I’d be frank here; I do not want to be a people manager. It’s not my best forte. I have issues with telling people what to do and what not to do. It’s not about lack of leadership skills. It’s just that I prefer doing my own stuff rather than depending on people for my success. You know how it is? I’d like to be as technically involved with my work as possible. Easier said than done, resting and settling down after reaching a particular post isn’t what we humans are made for. So, I don’t quite know. Things might change as I grow older. At least I hope they do. Cause all of my folks want to be “Managers” one fine day! I guess that’s final destination for all of us, right? In one way or the other, we humans want to be someone else’s boss! That’s how we prove ourselves our own worth. Heh, the gods must have been crazy to make creatures of our kind!

On the personal front:
Now here’s the real turn of events. A few months ago, the only thing I was worried about is if I still have leftovers in my newly bought fridge. I’d then buy some bread and eat it on my arrival from work. This was my biggest worry mind you! And out of nowhere *POOF* magic! She walks in. A comment here and a comment there, a smile here and a giggle there, some chats and many words! She changed it all and whispered all my problems away. It’s difficult to explain what she means to me now because we’re just starting it off and things have just sped by!

So, I asked her if she’d marry me. She hesitated a bit before which she said that she was dying to *winks* Bah, girls and all their dramas! Things have moved smooth and quick thereafter since the both of us put it across to our folks at home and got it all fixed up. I met her last month and yes, I’m getting engaged day after tomorrow – the 20th of September. It all seems like an unreal dream right now and I’m sure that everyone wouldn’t understand how anxious I am but I’m even more sure that she’s the one and yes, she’s going to be the heroine of this story. Here’s thanking chapter 26 of my life for letting her in and here’s thanking the internet and all the other environmental variables for bringing her to me! Well that’s it from my side for now. I have a flight to board in approximately 8 hours. I’m flying to Cochin and back during the Ramadan period. I wouldn’t be using a single day of approved leaves because we have a company declared leave of absence for the next 5 days! Peace out.

-Anup

Suspended animation – a state of bliss.

That playful ray of sunlight which escaped the window forced his eyes open as he lay there curled up behind her. He Rosedid not want to wake up but then the enchanting fragrance of fresh morning dew against the newly watered soil from yesterdays rain, her deep black hair that smelt like freshly bloomed lavender and her barenaked back which beckoned him to finger paint on it; seemed to lure him out of his bed and onto his feet.

He woke up, ever so gently; lest she be disturbed. It was a Sunday and he wanted her beautiful eyes to rest some more. He bent over and gazed at her lovingly. He felt like he had lived a life time in her closed eyelids, the tiny little curl of hair against her sufficiently large ears which he often made fun of and she breathing heavily against the pillow. He wanted so madly to hold on to those few seconds and just be there unto everness. He reached for her eyes and gave her a peck. She shifted a bit and he saw her smile. He stood at the window for a while breathing in all the fragrance he could soak up. He felt happy. It was a very long time since he felt the way he did then. Almost… content.

He flew her a kiss as he walked across the room and into the hall, switched on the music player and turned it on to some music. Ahhh! Coldplay, perfect. Music always made him happy. Tea was the next item on his small list and he decided to cook up that magical recipe. Three fourths boiled water, two tea bags, two table spoons of sugar and three table spoons of milk. All mixed in that order and a hint of all the love he had within him at that moment. She wasn’t a tea kinda person but then lately, she had taken to drinking tea. Mostly cause he made it that perfect and she could nearly taste him in it as she sipped slowly, carefully blowing into it.

She woke up in his shirt and to Lovers in Japan and silently walked into the kitchen drawn into him and ready to attach herself to this new found magnet of a guy! She hugged him from behind and whispered a love you as she laid a peck on his back. He poured the tea cups full with bubbled up tea. He needed the bubbles. Its like garnished food, you know? Tea is never complete without those bubbles he thought as he dragged her with him into the living room where she snuggled into him and continued with the trance like state she was in. He ran his hand in her hair lovingly and thought about his state of life. Suspended animation. He wrote down a few lines that came to his mind right then:

Love me; like you’ve never loved before.
Look into my eyes and set me free…
Be as mad as you can ever be,
In love with me from the sun to the sea.
Hold my hands and let me feel,
Your heart beat with me beneath.

Promise me that gorgeous smile,
With every passing mile,
Give me that healing touch,
And your reassuring voice just as much.
Let me lose myself in your voice,
Or give me a passionate hair smudge.

These lines are for you,
And whatever is in my heart,
Yes! That too.
All I have to offer is me and words,
Come be with me praandi;
We’ll worry about everything else afterwards!

Curtains fall!

-Anup

P.S: Dedicated to she who has walked in with a voice I just cant get enough of and a heart made just for me.