Blank

By | April 5, 2010

That’s what and how I feel when I stare at my blog. I swear to god that I’ve been staring at my journal throughout the day today and I came up with uhm, Blank! Its not that I don’t have things happening in my life. That is so not right. In fact, I have had more things happen over the past year or so. It’s not that I did not want to write and it’s certainly not that I really wanted to give up but then I don’t quite know what to do. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this a ‘writers block’ because I’ve realized off late that I’m not a ‘writer’ In fact, every now and then I feel that I’m pretty much – nothing. Every time I begin working on something; something else catches my attention and I run after it for a while and after some more time you’d find me doing the funky chicken dance! Wasting time and avoiding work has become passé’ and not a day goes by when I don’t hate myself for the utter lack of interest I show towards my life and hers!

We should be out taking a walk, you know? As promised before leaving work. We should have had a subway sandwich or a salad but instead, I get lazy and we order Chinese. It was so yum!! It’s not like I love Chinese but then there’s Delhi Darbar and there’s Indian Chinese. Tastes like Christmas in your mouth. So, yeah, I couldn’t help myself and there goes another lethargic evening. Most evenings are spent watching movies on YouTube or just about googling aimlessly. Sometimes, I try harder at writing and end up failing miserably. To be frank, I don’t quite remember the days when I could write effortlessly, the days where my fingers were in complete sync with my brains and with what I felt. I’m not sure about how I should feel – happy for not needing the world wide web to talk or disappointed for having given up on something I thought I did alright – write!

More than anything, I think its the changes that have come to my life over the past year. Love has come my way, opportunities have come in plenty and work has been as busy as can be. Garnish it with my lazy ass self and there you have my life as it is now ! Its a truck load of fun mind you. I do miss writing though and there are days where I wish I could write a line. “Just a line would do maybe?” I think to myself. This is the best that I could do. Thought I’d put in a little update to remind all of you’ll that I’m still around and I hope to linger more often!

Signing off with this – for now life is blissful in Dubai. I do have the occasional hiccups every now and then; work and wife included. Its a new thing – marital life that! But more on that later. My stay at Dubai might end abruptly if I get what I want. I need a break, a new opportunity. I need a crack at something more exciting and something which has a better brand value. I need to move. What I need now is stability, learning and better opportunities. Wish me luck.

-Anup

One thought on “Blank

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *