Lost for words.

My titles would probably seem like easy to predict cliches; just like my life. Its obvious that I’m following the Division Bell and I’m obsessed with the music and lyrics made by Pink Floyd. The truth is, I really am lost for words. I find myself beating around the bush when I write in my journal these days. I repeat the same conclusions over and over. I don’t understand myself and I get lost; lost for words.

A few people asked me about why I have not written anything in over 5 days, especially since I had loads of time on me and the weekend passed by too. I’ll admit that it wasn’t the deficiency of time or the will to type, it was just that I was trying to let a few days pass without having to live the never ending cycle of cliches that my life has become. I wouldn’t associate this just to the fortunate experience of losing love but also to the fact that; that grave, life altering encounter with love and women has since then made me hide from people and sometimes from my own self. I try to keep lying to myself that I’m happy and that I don’t need to worry about anything. Its like I wrote to Nids the other day, its difficult being like that. Why can’t I just be sad? Why is it that people have to mock my pain? Tell me that I need to be strong and all of that. Over and over again. They just want to see me happy – or so they say! I wonder how they don’t understand simple knot-theory. You cannot straighten a rope when it has knots. You cannot pretend the rope is straight by pulling it from both ends. You have to shrink it to whatever you can manage within your hands and then undo the knots. Thats when you can pull it to its maximum. Currently, I have a few knots in my life and I’m trying my level best to figure them out and make some good out of myself. I’ll end up suffering more if I push myself too hard. So, to all those people who don’t want to hear me – I’m sorry! I’ll manage.

Manra asked me the other day about why there was no mention about our visit to the 100 ft restaurant and all I could tell him was that there were too many beautiful things in my life and that all of them wouldn’t fit into the 500 MB of hosting I own. I decided to put that in this time though. Manra, thanks a lot for the Italian treat! I loved the starters, the paste and but of course the Mango juice. Its not surprizing that Manra hasn’t changed a lot. He’s still focussed and still adamant of his leadership ways. He has a pretty cut throat way of dealing with people while I have a more cheezy way. Anyway, we all have our own ways. Don’t worry too much Manra, you were a good commorade and a great team mate. We rocked and our names will be written in golden ink for all of DS history at CVG.

I watched a couple of movies recently. One of them was “Journey to the center of the earth” and I realized around a minute ago Golden Sparrowthat I watched the wrong movie. I was supposed to watch the latest one but I watched some shit which wasn’t the real deal. Must go home and get my hands onto the real movie. I hate it when I crap it up with my movies! Sometime back I managed to watch “Aamir” nice movie. Gripping to the end. Sad that Mr. Khandelwal had to die; blown into smithereens. I also watched “The Ruins” uhh, what was that? Ohh and I nearly forgot… I watched “The forbidden kingdom” and “The incredible Hulk” over this weekend. The first one sucked. Common? Whats wrong with those folks? Jackie Chan and Jet-Li; ughhh! Who wins? HAD to be Jet-Li, but then nada, Jackie still manages to come through and finally relive with the Elixir of life. The chinky chick in it looked cute, thats just about it. The Hulk though was extremely entertaining. You know how it is with guys? We like creatures and we like creatures fighting each other and well overall, your typical New York-in-the-hands-of-monsters kinda movie and I liked it. Update: My current weight has dropped down to 83 and I’m proud of the way things are going! Peace out.

A harmony I’m in love with:

[audio:http://www.anup.org/audio/tune.mp3]

-Anup

Reckless monotony.

Life’s been a series of monotonous events since quite some time now. I’ve tried to keep it full of things to do and people to be with, but somehow, all of them seem to fall short and I keep going back to the monotony of my life. Drive to work, no-real-work, sulk, surf, waste time, gym, drive back home, computer, tv and the internet, sleep and REPEAT! I’m not sure why, but it ticks me off that I’m not doing something right. I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Am I overdoing the whole ‘running away from people’ thing? Not actually. I’m bored and thats better than feeling hurtful, hated and betrayed, watcha say?

Coming to what happened the other day – the drive from and to my house turned a bit too mechanical; I guess. I thought I knew the roads and I recently began speeding. Sometimes I was shocked when I looked at the speedometer and sometimes I tried to do things I would have otherwise not done. You feel alright with dirty driving when you’re alone, but the thing is, you might end up hurting someone else along with yourself when you’re reckless on the wheels of a pretty mean machine. Luckily though, in this case, I wasn’t a threat to others but instead, I nearly got myself killed in a freak accident a couple of days ago. The truck drivers cursed me for nearly 15 minutes and it turned ugly cause I had lost my left rear-view mirror 2 months ago and I was nearly going to lose this one. I mean, it wasn’t that bad, just an example of examplary driving skills; but then, the truck drivers nearly shit in their pants because of what I did or so it seemed from the look on their face. It wasn’t my fault, I’d say. I was driving at around 100 kmph (not a good idea when on Hosur road, Bangalore) and I quickly approached a huge truck and it wouldn’t budge. I continued at around 80 and decided to weave past it from the left. Thats when another huge truck on the left decided to weave right so that it could get onto the slow trucks lane. So if you’d imagine, I was stuck between two huge trucks and instead of breaking I sped right through them whizzing by at more tham 100 kmph and avoiding both of them. Because of my whizz through both the drivers lost track of where they were and did not spot each other – CRACK!! and they kissed, the trucks that is. Luckily, the one on the right was a fuckin’ snail and all that happened was that the three of us stopped with a screech of our brakes and both the truck drivers then proceeded to abuse me. I looked at them, waved sorry and sped off. Man, when I think of it now… somehow if I was at 80kmph and not a 100, I’d have been crushed for sure! Sent shivers down my spine then and well, it still scares me, the thought of me dying such a miserable death. I must be more careful or if death is what I want, I should wait and clear my debts before I be more reckless. My dad shouldn’t suffer for the vicious circle I’ve put myself in!

Fuck that! I’m going to forget it very soon and I’ll continue being reckless. Driving fast is fun and yeah, for a few seconds I felt a rush and I totally loved it. I’m working out harder at the gym and eating to my diet plan and I feel good on the insides. I take a jog for 20 minutes straight without a stop. A break for about 50 seconds and some water later, I hope onto the cycle and do a quickfire 5 minutes of cycling which burns around 60 calories. I then get back on the threadmill and hit another 40 minutes of brisk walking at an incline. Follow this up with some twists and around 80 odd crunches. I think I burn more than 1000 calories per day. I’m impressed with how much I can do when I really want to do! I’ve been stuck to Pink Floyd like crazy and I can’t stop listening to Gilmour and his guitar. I know! Addictive, isn’t he? Its a different kinda high. A healthy, safe one. Its my mallu birthday today. According to the mallu calendar that is. I’ve never understood how it works though. My birthday is fast approaching and somehow, I feel its going to be lame this time. I’m going home on the 5th along with Fahd. Planning to drive home and return on the 9th in a bus. Well, thats it for now.

My new favourite song:

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?
Can’t keep my mind from the circling skiesLearning to fly.
Tongue-tied and twisted Just an earth-bound misfit, I
Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to find my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
A sole intension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can’t keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There’s no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, A state of bliss
Can’t keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

-Anup

 

Influences.

Lots of things influence us and the road we walk on… everyday. Some of these influences are good and the others are bad, some come rapidly and retire quickly, the others slowly stem from us and they seem to stick and influence our lives for a longer period of time. They’d stay till something far more influential would come sweep us away.

I’ve had loads of things that have influenced my fight with life and destiny, but I’d choose to talk only about the cream here. I’m not including family and friends here as “influences” because I believe that they are a part of me and uhm, they too are influenced by these influential people; somehow! Following are some of the most influential people in my life as of today:

The Barnicle! (Barney Stinson or Neil Patrick Harris)

BarneyAhh well, how can you not idolise this guy? Minus his self-righteous sexual needs of course! But then, somehow; if you remove that, Barney would end up being just another tedded up you and me! Ohh yes, Ted is kinda lame and I love using him as a verb. Anyway, coming back to this LEGEN…wait for it, and I hope you’re not lactose-intolerant because the second half of this word is…DARY, guy – he’s an epitome of awesomeness! Yes, thats right! He’s my new role model when it comes to living life and counting every second of it to 666 to the power of 666, you know what I mean, ha?! Its from him that I learnt that the easiest way to live life is to follow one of his simple rules, “When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead, true story!” He’d say that with that smile. It’d brighten up a dead mans day I tell you. Barney – you rule! Some of his awesomeness:

“You dumped a porn star?? friendship over. FRIENDSHIP OVER!!!”
“You are dangerous maverick,Your ego is writing cheques tht ur body cant cash”
“Daddy’s home!”
“…because the next step is PURG-wait-for-it… keep waiting… keep waiting till eternityATORY”

Moving on, I’d like to mention two people at the same time. Now, I’m too small to even talk about them, but then legends would always influence your life either today or tomorrow. There’s no stopping them from entering your ears, eyes and brains. They’d rule over your musical neurons and there is nothing you can do. Here are a few of the people who musically move my life:

Roger WatersRoger Waters

I can’t talk much about the man, cause like I said, his musical genius is something I can only be in awe for. I’ve got a snip from Wiki – “George Roger Waters (born 6 September 1943) is an English rock musician; singer, bass guitarist, guitarist, songwriter, and composer. He is best known for his 1965–1985 career with the band Pink Floyd; he was credited as their main songwriter (after the departure of Syd Barrett), bass player and one of their lead vocalists (along with David Gilmour and, to a lesser extent, Richard Wright)” Simply put, his music along with the way he’d play the guitar is devine and I can’t stop listening to him perform!

David Gilmour

David Gilmour

Again, this is one guy who can bring music to life. I have very little to talk about him cause he’s awesome! For those who might not know him, here’s a snip from Wiki “David Jon Gilmour CBE (born March 6, 1946) [1] is an English musician best known as the lead guitarist, one of the primary singers, and one of the main songwriters (with Roger Waters) in the band Pink Floyd. In addition to his work with Pink Floyd, Gilmour has also worked as a record producer for a variety of famous artists. Gilmour has been actively involved with many charity organisations over the course of his career.”

These two are important because I love the music they’ve created and somehow, though they did not appeal to me initially, they called out to me and I haven’t been able to stop myself from listening to them over and over again. Pink Floyd drifts me into a world where I’d float around the strings they pull and of course, the lyrics and words which mean so much to me! Thanks to my so called friend who introduced me to them!

Aaron Lewis

Aaron Lewis, (born April 13, 1972 in Rutland, Vermont, U.S.), is the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of theAaron Lewis alternative metal group Staind. Though they’d call it metal, for me, it doesn’t sound metal-ish! Its more like grunge rock. Aaron has written some lyrics for songs like Outside, Epiphany, Its been a while and a few other songs. I can’t really explain what his words mean to me, but his words and his music influence my life a lot. Rock on!

Uhm, thats it for my list of people who influence my life. These are external variables, but there are very few who work on the inside and most of them are constants. No variables whatsoever. Somehow, I feel that talking about constants is futile and a waste of my time. Mostly because they are there to stay and I can’t do much about them! I can’t thank them and I wont. Peace out.

-Anup

Smooth sailing.

Hello!I’ve been lazy. My usual bouts of laziness that comes and goes. Like those days where I just don’t feel like typing. Plus, I thought; no one cares anyway. No one reads here anyway, so a few days worth gap wouldn’t matter much.

I thought I’d just walk by and say hello to anyone who might be following up here or reading the crap I type in. Abhi was here from 12th to the 15th and it was a lot of fun. Must say, HP and Bangalore would have been a 100 times better if he’d have been here. Time would have moved faster, I’d have laughed more and he’d have lost more weight than me and uhm, it’d have been fun! It sucked to see him leave.

I might decide to type in more about his trip and our outing to Nandi hills later. For now, I’m deadly bored. Peace out.

-Anup

The Beach.

It was Abhi’s birthday on the 11th and if I haven’t mentioned this before – I’m very poor with numbers and dates alike. I somehow seem to prefer text more to numbers. I must say that I’ve been fascinated by numbers recently because I’m watching the series – Numb3rs. Its funny that when I’m writing, I’d prefer writing it as twenty instead of 20. It seems to glorify my affinity towards letters and words of the English language and takes me further away from numbers. Well, thats precisely why I was very bad at Math. I was good at algebra though because it had letters in it, you know? Formulae and others. I found it easy to comprehend and understand.

I suddenly noticed that I’ve strayed away from the point and so I’d just quickly trackback to where I was; Abhi’s birthday. He turned 27 and we celebrated his birthday and his coming to Bangalore (for 2 days) in complete style yesterday at this place called “The Beach” This was an awesome experience for me, Ajay and Ritesh (Ajay’s friend from mumbai) Abhi sucked on his obvious distaste for loud music that he could not comprehend much. He stared at the table and wondered, “Whats wrong with these people!?” Ajay sang well. In fact, I’d say he did an outstanding job of entertaining all those who were present. There was this other guy, I’m not sure about his name, so lets call him Sam. So Sam was the other singer who sang very well and that too without losing an ounce of energry. Mostly because of all the smoke he was puffing in and out along with whatever it was that he was drinking. Then there was this gay guy who sang very much like Enrique and the chicks dug his style of singing. Ohhh, and we actually had a gay guy there who wore denims meant for the girls and those flat osho type slippers that they wear. The girls seemed to be very comfortable around him and they danced along, sometimes weird and the other times funny. Then there was this guy who had come along with a girl who seemed disturbed that she was there with him and was trying to avoid any kind of talks. She stared at all the others around and tried to avoid talking to him. This guy was stupid anyway, he sat on the seat after he had pushed the cushion down, jackass. He tried to dance with a chick who thought she could dance, but then Ajay and me though that they sucked at it. There was this one girl that I liked, but then she was a bloody chimney. I guess they were this gang of friends and friends of friends who knew each other. It was a gang of around 25 odd people and they were all fired up. Funny that Ajay still stole the show with songs like – Angel, Alice and Smells like Teen spirit. I actually loved it when he sang Smells like teen spirit cause I was jumping around and yelling along from behind. The next time, I’ll be up front and I’ll make sure that I croak. YAY for Karaoke.

Abhi, Ajay and me!

We got over the food part pretty quickly cause we had delicious french fries and some amazing paneer starters. No one wanted anything to eat after it. They drank some beer, smoked a lot of cigs and the shop closed its gates at 11. Its pretty strict here in Bangalore and somehow, I feel its a good practise. Lesser deaths due to accidents caused off negligent/under the influence of alcohol driving. Most dancers and clubbers hate it though and they’re hoping that the new government would probably take out the various limits and bans they’ve set. Well, lets see where that goes.

We clicked a few pictures after reaching home and from there Ajay and the guys came over to my place to drop me. Here was where we picked Abhi up and kicked him like madmen at 12:00 AM in the morning. Adventurous, I’d say; picking Abhi up was arduous and then we had to kick him simultaneously. I guess his ass musn’t have hurt cause its huge and all full of chubby ASS! Well, that ended the whole Karaoke thing and I must say, I enjoyed it. Thanks Ajay.Me and Ajay.

Something I missed to type in from last week. I watched the movie Sarkar Raj and I’d say its a must watch. Not for RGV, he sucks more after his AAG! But then, you wouldn’t want to miss the chemistry of the father-son duo in the movie. They rocked. Aishwarya looked old, weird and unfit for the clothes she wore, I thought. Plus, she’s tall in an unattractive way, unlike Shilpa Shetty or Deepika Padukone; well they look delicious! The movie is awesome and I loved the sound track. I must sleep now, haven’t slept in two days and I am about to crash on the keyboard.

-Anup

The petrol bunk drama; amongst others!

Before I go on to describe the ordeal that I had to go through at a petrol bunk here in Bangalore, I’d like to talk about how much of an imbecilic fool I’ve been and how my extravagant nature is finally getting onto my nerves. I was trying to book tickets online for the new mallu movie showing in PVR and my card got declined. Yes, you got that right – my credit card. CREDIT is the golden word here. I love credit cards, did I ever mention that? Well, how I love swiping those beauties into machines and churning out paper bills that don’t look cute. I stare at them and think, “WOW, I own this piece of shit!” I’m supposed to pay this baby off; my gold card from Citibank that is. Because if I don’t I’m sure it’ll rape me with all its might. Interest and interest ON interest. Overall, it’d become a charade of taxes and fees that’d ruin your INCOME. Well, who was to care? I’m a shopaholic and I’m not proud about the way I am. Uhm, I was never proud of the way I was and am, so to say. Why this sudden revelation? My card got declined and I go like, “What the fuck? I’ve got a crazy limit on this card!!” I call up Citibank and they talk to me about my dues. Man, I’m ruined. I won’t talk about how much I need to pay up, but please know that its a HUGE SUM OF CREDIT. And I’m pretty much ruined, sigh.

My recent additions to the things I own:
A new Timex Mariner (totally worth the buy):

Timex Mariner

Suck on this:

Suck on it, losers.

Levis; expensive shit:

Levis

I realized that I did not have any money after I bought all of this on my debit card. Simply put, I’m a bit more than broke for this month and a few more months to come. Another one of my theories went down the drains though. There’s this disease that I suffer from. I make up stories and think up things which are so wrong and baseless that in the end, I feel like asking myself to go fuck myself. Hrmphhh, does that make any sense? Arghhh, forget about it. The theory that you’d spend more if you have a girl friend is NOT TRUE. If any of you’ll had similar thoughts, well; not true. Infact, you’d spend more after a break up and then spend some more when you feel lonely; to fill the void and crap like that, you know? Anyhoo, I’m done with my crap. No more shitty expenditures for 6 months at least, kapiche?

Coming to the episode of the Petrol bunk. Now, most of you’ll must have seen me, right? If not, there’s a picture of me in the “About” section. Please look it up. So, from my picture, do I look like an idiot? From certain angles, yes, but look at the angle which makes me look smart and aware! From that angle, I don’t quiet look like a guy who’d be fooled all that easily, right? Well, here’s the deal – I want to fill petrol for Rs 500, thats my aim. I stop at this dirty little petrol bunk cause its the only one that falls on my way to work. There is Shell other than this, but thats way too expensive for my tastes anyway. So I stopped here and I know their tricks so, I showed him a Rs 500 ka note, gave him the note and asked him to fill petrol. First mistake: The bugger stops at 100. Why? Well, you asked me to fill up 100, didn’t you? And I look at him, all angry and red! I don’t say much, but I give him the meanest most dirtiest look ever. He, kinda startled by my rage, “Ohh, 500 aaaaaa??” with that typical “aaaa” attached in the end. I shut up and continue looking at the meter. Here he stops at 400. I look at him again, this time ready to thrash the shit out of him. I asked him why he stopped? He said, well, I began from 0 after filling upto 100. Then I began a saga of crap talk which lasted a full 10 minutes of a Kindi(hindi+Kannada) scuffle between me and him. In the end, the manager comes running. I tell him about what happened and that I’ve read enough off the internet, if he doesn’t go onto fill Rs 100 worth more of petrol, I’m calling the cops. He sulks, makes a face and mumbles something in Kannada, which might have meant; fill her up! He walks with a scoff and continues to count his notes. I look on as he touches 100. He throws a tantrum and picks up a few words in Kannada which I wouldn’t have understood. Throws it all around me and walks off. I ignore his poverty of sense and begin getting into my car. Thats when this guy (who took the money from me to begin with) he comes running and asks, “Saaaar, paisa?” and I give him the, “Dude!! What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!” kinda look and begin getting down from my car, this time really to thrash him up! I would have gotten thrashed if I had done that, but then things kinda rocketed out of my boundaries of tolerance. The bastard tried to trick me with this one? Who do I look like? You? Bastard. So I walk upto him and tell him that I gave him the money before filling the petrol. He looks at my very red face, searches his purse and comes up up with a Rs 500 note that wasn’t mine, cause I had given him a new one and this was a torn one. He nods his head in agreement to the fact that I did actually give the money and walks off with a kiddish giggle. I curse the gods and drive off. I mean, how would you try to con me with that one saaar? Anyway, that ends the saga. I’m happy its over and hence on, I’ll fill oil only at Shell. Fuck you, assholes!

-Anup

Nostalgia, a visit.

A couple of really awesome one’s someone gave me some time back:

Your tears fall
Right on my heart
It hurts me more than you
To see you fall apart

I want no love
That causes you pain
Ill try to stop you from crying
Though it might be in vain

Your agony kills me
Why cant I soothe it
I have only upset you
It makes my heart split

==============================

Thank you for you: for who you are,
However far away;
And for the words you send to me,
Near mad for what you say.
Knowing simply that you’re there,
Yet thinking much of me,
Opens up my happiness,
Undone for all to see.

I can’t thank her enough for giving these words to me. She knows, I’m sure; about how thankful I am that she stuck by and also of how much I adore her. Once again, thanks a lot and I miss you.

It was an uneventful day, just like yesterday. Work-home-work, repeat. The only thing that changed was that the oil prices did finally shoot up and I ended up paying Rs 58 for a litre worth petrol. I remember buying petrol when it was Rs 30 a litre. Dad smirks then; I remember paying Rs 5 a litre, now scoot! I wonder why he treats me like rubbish. Anyhoo, thats a mystery I don’t have time to unravel. Its already 4 AM and I’m tired. Watched a mallu movie just now. Srinivasan is an awesome actor, have to say. Mammotty and Mohanlal take away all the awards though and it makes me feel sad that they do. Fuckers must die; like Harrison Ford and Richard Gere.

Additionally, I’m not sure about whats wrong with me. I ate 4 huge baigambilly mangoes. Crazily sweet but huge! Seriously, they were very big mangoes. I ate them all in 4 hrs. Not bad ehhh? Guess its ok, I burnt around 1000 calories in the gym today. And fruits = any quantity is what the doctor said. Good ehh? Gym; ahhh. On its note, I notice this really cute romantic phase in progress in there these days. There’s this body builder, very lean body and totally awesome looking. Like the guy with the perfect looks for any girl. Tall, dark and handsome with a killer bod, thats what you want, don’t you, girls? So this girl, she comes to gym everyday and works out just for him. But I guess the bugger is pea brained. He concentrates more on his workouts and just asks her to continue working out. She’s more interested in talking and looking at his sweaty body anyway and continues to linger around where he is. Annoys him, but well, there’s nothing you can do now dude. The girls kinda clumsy, thin and unimpressive with a flimsy style of walking and bad shoes. But I love the scene and I can’t help smiling to myself. Thats it for today. Bed time.

-Anup

The ‘move on’ generation.

I’d like to begin with this:

This seems like an advertisement that’d make people giggle or to the least bring a smile on anyone’s face. Its not because the advertisement has a deep meaning but its more in awe for the director of the advertisement and the person who must have designed the whole concept. A break-up has been portrayed without any fuss and with a lot of ease. Now, isn’t this what all of us want? All of us who would want a friend, someone more than a friend, a friend to kiss, a friend to hug and a fuck friend? Something more than that? Nada, move on…

Different people take different routes out of break ups. While most of them might just gather their balls and bags and like fastrack said, move on. Others might choose to ignore the obvious pain that they feel inside of them and live with a smile on their face which is so fake that it’d make even the dog trotting on the road to scoff in pity. A few others would live in bliss and ignore the whole episode as a bad nightmare. They wouldn’t feel anything and yes, they’d relive and be reborn like a raven out of its own ashes. Very few would actually dig into what happened and what went wrong. Why did I lose out on love? Why did I make wrong decisions? What were the wrong decisions? Why did I do these things like this and not like that? A lot of questions need to be answered so that you don’t make the same mistakes again, but then who cares and who bothers ehh? You see the next body you like, you get attracted and the saga begins. Also, I forgot to mention about a very minor sect of people who’d begin a new route whilst they are on one track. Now, these are the kinds who’d betray you for peanuts! These are the kinds who need to shove love right down their own asses and go get what they want – shit on their face.

I’ve seen love failing over and over now, over the past 3 odd years. I have my own story to tell too, amongst all of the broken hearts, I have my own heart too. Not that it matters much, but I’ve learnt a lot and I’m proud that I took time off to think it out of me. I’m happy that I had friends who helped me out. I’m very happy that I did NOT move on… as if the love I had in my heart, as if the person did not exist, the love my heartbeat for; all through the time I was with her. I’m happy that I was human enough to thank god for what I experienced and I cherished every moment of it before I let it go. Actually, I did not let it go, time took it away from me. What annoys me though are ads like these which portray love to be nothing less than a drama done by college kids! We ourselves are vandalizing the next generation of kids who wouldn’t know what it means to be in love. Pfft, god damn media advertisers.

P.S:

Thats what you mean to me Ted!

I’m coming Ted! His best friend needed him. He’s awesome.

A revolutionary.

Am I dead? Ha? Am I dead? What would the world be without him?

The awesomes

Now thats what I call – BRO LOVE!

-Anup

Wrapping up the weekend.

I had a wet weekend like most of us in Bangalore did. I got wet on Saturday and thus Sunday I felt like staying at home and keeping myself warm. Well, thats precisely what I did. I went out on Saturday with Ratheesh and a friend for a movie – Indiana Jones? Pfft, why doesn’t Harrison ford die? I mean, I’m sure about him being one of the best actors of HIS time, but just like Richard Gere, he should take his charm and just go, you know? Somehow, for a person of his age, its really difficult to digest the fact that he’d want to continue doing Indiana Jones. As sucky as James Bond 007. The movie; I was able to bear up only because of the fact that it included a treasure and I love treasures and treasure hunting. Also, just like the movie National Treasure, this movie also had a REAL treasure. Like a city of gold that they’d find in the end afterall. I hate those movies where you’d get to know that it was all a hoax or some goverment conspiracy to trap and kill you. Bugs me when they don’t find the treasure. Anyway, I spent 200 Rs on Harrison Ford, blargh!

We went to M.G road after that and it wasn’t a fulfilling experience because it rained and the guys were sissies. They weren’t ready to get wet. The other guy with us cribbed about how he had wet his undies in the rickshaw and spent time in a trial room at Bangalore Central trying to dry it under a fan there. I thought that was lame, but it worked for him nevertheless and it made him less cranky. We bought some T-shirts and oogled at the not-so-good chicks who had come there. I wonder why we oogled, heh. Ratheesh has only a few more months left to oogle like this and thus he oogles all the time, but why us? Man, I really don’t need them for now, do I? Girls that is. I wonder if I haven’t had enough of that curse for the time being? Shouldn’t I be concentrating on other important things; like TV? Anyway, I did realize that and we headed home after some horrdendous food at Bangalore Central. The rickshaw rides all in all cost me 200 bucks and it completely pissed me off when I reached home. Hell! I wasn’t going to drive the car, so yeah, thats ok too.

Sunday, at home. Cleaned up. The maid came, she got the house all spick and spanky. Got my clothes all washed and dried. Watch some quality TV. Spent some quality time with the cousin. He watched TV and played game as I slept. Overall, very satisfying to have someone home. It does get boring once in a while to be alone. Why else do you think I type so much these days? I blog nearly every other day. Not that it ticks me off, but I just start worrying about what I’m doing with my life. Maybe I need a companion? Then I get scared. Maybe I don’t! Wow. Its confusing and the being-alone part really gets me jittery. I watched the finals of the IPL today and watched the Rajasthan Royals win. The win wasn’t convincing, but it was a win nevertheless and they had really played well throughout the tournament. Shane Warne seems like a good captain, but I’ve heard that he sucks as a person. Well, who cares?

Uhm, thats it for my weekend. I’m out of night shifts and I am not doing any night shifts for this month. Yes, I’m happy about it and I’m going to sleep the nights for a whole month. Lets see if it reduces my headache maybe. Beginning the afternoon shift from tomorrow onwards. I must begin going to the gym regularly and for a considerable amount of time. I might begin with resistance training and I will speak to Umesh (the trainer) about a regime that I could follow. Over and above all, I must try and visit the doctor tomorrow. Lets see where that goes. Time to hit the sack. Night.

-Anup